The Power of Will over Mind
You can see in the life of enlightened master Buddha as to how he became enlightened. Buddha had been trying various kinds of spiritual practices for over twelve years but he had not been able to realize the Ultimate. One day, he decided, even if the body dries up here, I will not move out of this place unless I become enlightened. The moment he made this strong sankalpa or vow to wait eternally for enlightenment, within three seconds, he became enlightened!
By nature, whenever you take up anything, whenever you try to exert your will or strong decision, the mind will tease you saying, 'Eh! How are you going to be successful in this? How many times you have tried…! Do you think you will succeed this time? Do you think you are capable…?' The mind is like a dog talking at an elephant walking!
It starts as a will, 'Let me achieve fulfillment.' At this time, you have to hold on to the will because your own mind doesn't believe in your sankalpa or will. As the will grows stronger, slowly you realize that there is a life force much bigger than you that is running you as well as the whole universe. The deep feeling of connection or bhakti starts happening towards this powerful and compassionate Existence. And slowly the will becomes prayer.
If the will is between you and you, it is called sankalpa. If the will is between you and the divine, it is called prayer. It should start as sankalpa and end as prayer. If the end is not as prayer*, it means the fulfillment has not happened. If it does not start as sankalpa*, it means you have no confidence that you can achieve. So decide this moment, that the fulfillment has to happen in you.
A real incident from my life:
I was at Manikarnika Ghat during my wandering days. Manikarnika Ghat is a cremation place in Varanasi where continuously the funeral pyre has been lit for hundreds of years. Day and night, dead bodies are burnt there.
I was watching the cremation of so many bodies when I felt, everyday I am seeing death, then why am I not able to experience the internal psychological death? Understand, I am not talking about the physical death; I am talking about the psychological death. If you experience psychological death, suddenly you will see you are enlightened.
Then I decided, either this body should die and I should experience death or I should have the death experience by meditation. I decided I will sit and meditate on death till I have the death experience.
Be very clear, your mind knows all your games. It knows how many times you cheated by breaking your own will. It knows how many times you changed, altered, found the fine print! For your own will, you have a fine print below! After two to three hours, when you are tired, you read the fine print and say, 'It is ok. I can relax.'
I did not believe myself. But somehow the will was very strong. One day was over. Second day also was gone. I had no food, no sleep. I did not get up at all. On the third day, the whole body was practically frozen because of pain. The body wanted to move but I said, no, there is no question of moving. If you sit continuously without moving, the whole body will be frozen with pain.
Suddenly my whole being realized I am really serious about my will. Suddenly my whole being realized I am going to do it. I myself got convinced about my will power. I myself realized I am going to sit. First time when I sat, my mind did not agree, 'Alright! Let's see. Struggle how much you can. After all you are a good person struggling for the last ten years. Try once more, nothing wrong in trying!' Next day morning, it felt little sympathetic, 'He is really trying, struggling.' Third day noon, it got completely convinced that I am going to do it.
The power which was resisting lost its hold on the consciousness. The constant doubt which was saying, 'No, no, no, once he is tired he will get up. Once he is hungry he will get up and go for food; relax,' that part died. Suddenly my own being got so strongly convinced that I am going to sit.
Still I remember very clearly, one thought came, 'I am going to sit eternally, forever.' The moment I decided forever, the mind stopped moving in a linear way. See, if you say you will do something 'for a long time', your mind will say, 'What do you mean by long time? How many years, come on tell me.' The moment I say, 'Alright, let me sit for ten years,' then it will be waiting, 'Ok, ten years let us sit.' After ten years it can come out. Just because that hope is there, it will not fall into unconsciousness.
It will continue to retain its identity because it knows after ten years, it can come back and play its game. The hope is there because the idea of time is created by the mind. It is like you create a track of steel and a train of steel. The steel train moves on the steel track. So, since the mind created time, the mind can be alive for however long time. It knows, 'It is my own track. Let me travel. Let me move.'
But the moment I decided to sit eternally, the mind lost its grip over time. And it knew, 'I think he really means what he is thinking.' The moment you give that confidence to the mind that you are going to do it eternally, suddenly it gets shaken, it gets frightened and it comes back to the present moment. Because it knows you are going to do this forever.
See, your mind exists only with this one idea, it tolerates anything if it knows that is going to end. It has the ability to tolerate anything and survive anything if it knows that action is going to end. It can be any action, any idea. Any meditation, any technique, if it knows it is going to end, it will survive, it will live through.
Only when you give the clarity it is going to be forever, it can end. That is why in the Hindu tradition, whether it is marriage or sannyas, it is eternal, forever. Once you marry, it is forever. Once you take sannyas, it is forever. Then the mind will stop playing its games.
See, the moment you have the freedom, 'Anyhow, I am going to divorce. Why tomorrow? Why not today?' Always you will think why postpone. But if you know this is going to be your life forever, then you know anyhow you have to live. You will see how you can work it out.
So your idea about the future plays a major role on your life in the present, on your action in the present. If you know that this is your life, your mind starts getting settled and adjusted with this mental setup. Even if there is something wrong, you feel, you have to start healing and respecting.
The idea you carry about yourself in your mind is very important. That is going to decide about your action. The idea which you have about your body and mind is the best friend or worst enemy for you. If you have the right idea about your body and mind, that is the best friend for you. If you have the wrong idea about your body and mind, that is the worst enemy for you. I have seen various types of cultures and civilizations. The kids who are given the right understanding about the body and mind, not only live long, but they also live happily.
Your idea about the future creates miracles inside the physical body. The yogi from whom I learnt yoga, I have seen him display all kinds of miraculous powers. Because he was very clear, till he achieved those powers, he would practice.
So what does the mind do? Your mind is intelligent, it can express all powers. It immediately decides, 'O, this person is going to torture me with the practice till I reveal the powers to him. Better let me give now itself!' It tries to play with you without giving the power and tries to break the practice. If you give the strong idea to your mind, you are going to practice till it gives you the power, suddenly it gives in.
The moment I was able to convince myself I am going to sit, my whole being was completely convinced. I could see very clearly, from the root of the spine, the pain spreading all over the body. Excruciating pain, requesting me, 'Please move the body little bit and adjust.' I was sitting for two and half days. And I did not even know that two and half days had passed. Only later on I calculated. I just decided, who cares about time? I am going to sit, that's all. My backbone was requesting, 'Please adjust the legs a bit, please move the hands a bit so the blood flow can happen. At least let me see if I am alive or not!' But I could see my will, 'I am going to sit.'
The moment that strong will said I am going to sit, internally when the conviction landed on my being, I could see very clearly that pain which was there all over the body in every joint and in every nerve and in the whole body slowly started disappearing. The moment it learnt the practice is going to be eternal, the mind started withdrawing. It decided, 'Now I cannot survive, now I cannot stand.' It came to the present moment, 'Alright, I will cooperate with you' and it dissolved.
See, the mind thrives on change or hope for change. So any technique, any practice you want to do, decide you are going to do forever. For example, take the technique of unclutching. Decide, whatever may happen, I am going to unclutch forever. You will unclutch now. That moment is what I call enlightenment.