e. Post ASP – experiences at home
After the two days of discourses, it was time for THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM to leave Oklahoma City and travel to the west coast. Discourses and satsangs were scheduled in San Jose, Los Angeles and San Diego. These discourses were organized by relatives of devotees who were involved with the mission in Bharat. We went to see off THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM at the organizer's home on a Wednesday morning. THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM was very happy to see us. We took His blessings and He told us to start spreading His teachings. He assured us that He will come back to Oklahoma soon, and left for the west coast of USA.
Right after THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM left, a group of 20 to 25 people started a 21-day daily meditation program. A group of us got together and did the Dukkha Harana technique (technique for the mooladhara chakra). This is an incredibly powerful technique and THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM told us that doing this for 21 days will really help heal a lot of physical ailments. In my case it did wonders. I lost almost 6 kg by practicing this technique. All participants found a lot of relief not only in their physical health but started seeing a positive impact in their overall well being. We felt that meditation in a group environment was quite synergistic.
THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM told us that if a meditator meditating by himself creates one volt of energy, 100 people meditating together would collectively create 100 volts of energy and all 100 volts will be available to all. This was the power of group meditation. In fact He narrated to us several findings where large group of meditators practicing Transcendental Meditation (TM) meditated in various cities in USA. The documented evidence time and time again was that during this time there was a statistically significant drop in key crime indicators. This is a very well documented study conducted by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi's organization in the 70s and 80s.
Early days after meeting THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM were quite interesting. All of us at home meditated regularly. All of us who participated in THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's program or those who attended His discourses at the Hindu Temple spoke of nothing but THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM when we met at social events. I am sure those who have experienced the master and his teachings for the first time will understand what I am writing here. Sometimes, unfortunately as in our case we may have taken this to the extreme and scared people away! But there was so much of self-discovery that was going on and so many experiences people had, we behaved like kids in a candy store!
The Master came, opened up this whole new world in us that we never knew existed and left. Every time we met in parties there was this infamous group of THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's devotees who would sit together and talk of nothing but their experiences with THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM. As THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM jokingly talks about this, we fit His description to the dot – this group of people would wear malas, always talk about Swami this, Swami that... We would almost scare people away. So for the reader out there, please do not repeat this performance. Instead, allow some breathing room for the other. Let them not be scared and miss the master altogether. While there is a humorous dimension to this, missing the Master is something too precious and too expensive.
Along with our meditation, Ma Jesusananda was having wonderful experiences which she was chronicling in her memoirs. Ma Sachitananda too was experiencing similar things. All of us felt that while we missed Master's physical form we always felt his presence. THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAMi (Rithi then), our six year old who was very close to her grandmother (she was raised from birth by her grandmother while both of us were very busy with our careers!) would often get up in the middle of the night and run to her grandmom's room and say, "Ammamma (thats how we call grandmom in Telugu) you know I just saw Swamiji in the house." There was a time when she woke up at 2 am and ran to her grandmom and shouted, "You know ammamma, Swamiji suddenly disappeared from His photo that is hanging on the wall."
Later we asked Swamiji what all of this meant and He said that this was the different expressions of the truth. THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAMi was not sent to day-care centers and was luckily not exposed to societal conditionings and met the Master too right away. He said that she is so pure that her being is just seeing the Master as a formless all pervading energy. He told us, after all I am just not this six-foot form and her purity allowed her to have my darshans and also see me and she feels me without a form.
Then there were occasions when we sat for hours together and Ma Jesusananda would describe all her experiences to us. She is a very introspective person who would spend hours together reading books or keep to herself. Even though she spent over 15 years with us, she would always give us space and room and made it a point not to be intrusive. She told us that there were times when she said she clearly heard footsteps of someone walking towards our puja room (worship room) and she had intensely felt Swamiji's presence then. She had several experiences of leaving her body and feeling her presence everywhere.
There was one occasion when she was reading the section about Mahavatar Babaji in the book, Autobiography of a Yogi, she suddenly felt His form appear right in front of her eyes. She chronicled several such events in her dairy and later, when Swamiji came back to Oklahoma asked Him about these incidents. Swamiji normally never answers such questions, but if it helps a sincere seeker or disciple, He will tell them the truth about their experience. He held her hand looked intensely for a moment and said, "Ma, let me tell you the truth. These experiences really happened to you. Don't ever think they are imaginations. Also, don't bother Ma, I will take care. Just relax and enjoy your life. Your job is over. You will not have any more births. So just relax and have fun!"
Now with all of these experiences happening around me, I for one never had any such experiences right away. However I felt good, I knew I was truly blessed to meet my Master and felt very connected to Him. I felt this is the greatest gift He has showered on me.
While I was continuing to work intensely in my job, there was a sense of peace and calmness. I was not shaken by events and incidents at work that would have normally caused stress. In fact one of the people who worked closely with me came up to me one day and he said, "Siva, you seemed to be very peaceful and not shaken up by anything these days. What is happening?" I told him about the Master and what we have experienced and of course introduced him to the Master.
Despite all this I felt that maybe I am missing some dimension by not being able to have the experiences like the others were having. So when Swamiji came back the next time I asked him why I am not able to have these experiences. I asked Swamiji whether this 'buffalo skin' was too thick to experience. He laughed and said, "Shiv, there are two ways to go by train from Bangalore to Mysore. One way is to open the windows and sit by the window seat and see all the beautiful fields, rivers and life surrounding you and happily make it to Mysore. The other way is to close the window and make the journey to Mysore. In either case you are going to Mysore. In both the travels you are going to reach Mysore. Believe me this is the truth. And one more thing, in the first journey, you run the risk of getting off at Ramnagara before reaching Mysore, thinking you have reached Mysore. But in the second path there is absolutely no way of missing reaching Mysore when you are on the train. As an individual, you are experiencing the later type of journey. Don't bother, you are on the train and I will take care."
Honestly, when Swamiji said this I intellectually understood what he was saying but I was yearning for experiences. Only later on, after living around the Master I began to feel the incredible experiences of being liberated from so many conditionings, inner fears, worries, attachments and living in an unclutched state. I could realize and experience what Swamiji said is the truth. I now know that, if He gave me the experience of traveling to Mysore with the window open may be I would have gotten off in Ramnagara thinking it was Mysore. I know the Master knows what is best for the being.
Often I see people seeking immediate gratification both in their spiritual journey or even when they come to Swamiji for healing or counseling. A lot of times when someone feels that their situation has not immediately changed, they simply leave Him and say, "Oh this Swami is not powerful," or "This healing thing does not work." I know for sure it always does and I have been witness to many miracles. However in this world of instant messaging and internet, we are looking for instant results.
A lot of times, as Swamiji told us, the being is intelligent enough to decide if and when it wants to be healed. There is time when the being wants to continue to experience a particular problem or condition for its own growth. In my own case when I was going through the journey of personal tragedies in life, sometimes I wondered, "Why me God?" But luckily His grace showered on me even before I met Him physically. Whenever these thoughts came there would be counteracting self healing thoughts which would say, "Look at so many others who do not even have food to eat. Aren't you more fortunate?" Now as I look back at every incident, Swamiji was there preparing me for this path right from my childhood. I know for those who are new to this, it may sound too mystical and hard to believe. But if one is patient and willing to understand the truth, it can be a very beautiful experience.