Make Friends … Just Out of Innocence
For the next few minutes, you can go around meeting people, without your identity. I am not telling you to introduce yourself to others. No! Remember: you are not the identity which you were carrying earlier. So, I am not asking you to introduce yourself. Don't go around saying, 'I am a doctor, I am a freelance software engineer, I am from this place, and what not.' Try to experiment with the simple technique of making friends without using your identity! Just go around and make twenty friends without using your identity.
You should not use any of the usual things such as your job, your profession, your career etc. Don't use any of them. Similarly, don't ask any such related questions to the other person either. Don't ask them, 'Where are you from?' Is it possible to make friends without asking any of these questions. with just the face value … just directly trusting the other person? You are here, I am here, let us just directly trust each other! The matter is over! Why do we need our past track record to create friendship?
Introducing yourself with your track record is like saying, 'Alright, here is my track record. You can now trust me. We can be friends!' We don't need such big files. We don't need a credit report to create friends! Showing your track record is like showing your credit report. It is like saying, 'See, I have a good track record. Let us make friends…' No! Just you being here, or you seeing the other person is enough to create friendliness; to radiate warmth; to radiate love; to radiate the feeling of connectedness.
So, just spend around 10 to 15 minutes, and try this new experiment of creating new friends. Don't go to your own family and friends. If you go to them, you will bring back your old identity. Go to people who you don't know. Meet with at least 20 new persons. When you don't carry your identity, you can express yourself in a more innocent way, in a more simple way. Try to express yourself in a new way, and feel connected. Let me see how you are able to connect without using your identity. Let me have some fun! Just go around. No using identity, no visiting cards allowed! This will also make each of you comfortable with the others in the group.
Alright, come and sit down.
Again, I see that families are sitting together. Even if I liberate them, they don't want to be liberated. Ramakrishna used to narrate a beautiful story;
A few fisherwomen went to their village to sell fish. After selling the fish in the market, they were returning, but somehow, it was too late to go back to their homes. They could not find any shelter on the way to rest. They managed to find a single house where a flower shop owner was living. He had a lot of flowers in his house.
They asked him, 'Can you accommodate us?'
He said, 'Why not? You can very well sleep here tonight and leave tomorrow morning.' The women lay down and tried to sleep. But they were not able to sleep, however much they tried. Suddenly, one them realized what the problem was. The fragrance of the flowers was too much for them. These women were habituated only to be with the smell of fish! That was the problem. They were unable to sleep amidst the fragrance of the flowers. One of them went, brought their empty fish baskets, sprinkled a little water on them, put it near their heads and soon, they were all fast asleep!
In the same way, these people cannot live without the old smell of their friends…the fish smell… that is the problem. I tell you: it will be a big liberation for you. You don't have to maintain so many standards. You have so many standards constantly nagging you.