Why Run Constantly? Live in the Moment!
Sex is not confined to the possessing of another body. Nor is it about different postures. It is about the deep satisfaction that happens when two people give themselves completely: body, mind, and soul to one another. Sex is all about the sharing of our personal space in total trust with the other. It is a fearless, unconditional giving of our energy through our body and mind. It is all about being totally in the moment, in the present. It is about living with and enjoying the fullness of the reality around us.
The big problem is that we are never in the moment totally. We are afraid as to how long our joy will last and that leads us to greed for more. As a result, there is perpetual dissatisfaction.
As with death, so too with sex: it is never discussed in the open. No one wants to talk about it. Almost in all cultures, so many stories are woven around the incident of birth. Either babies are said to be brought by storks, or they are said to have been parceled by angels as gifts from God, or some kind doctor brought them home! Neither do parents discuss the topic of sex clearly with their children, nor do significant people like teachers and older relatives. In most cases, they themselves do not have the correct understanding.
If we read about sex, talk about it or discuss it, we are considered to be persons with loose morals. The natural curiosity of a child to know its own body and that of the other gender is brutally suppressed by society. The simple, beautiful truth about the process of life is never explained to young ones. People make sex shameful, secretive and yet highly desirable! This constant suppression by family and society is responsible for creating fantasies. Their whole lives revolve around working out these fantasies. They become greedy. They want the forbidden fruit. Their ignorance of the true nature of sex contaminates all their personal relationships. They see everything with tinted glasses because they don't know much about the true nature of sex; they make it bigger than what it really is!
Actually, a number of people have come and told me, 'Master, it is strange but during meditation I had an orgasmic experience! How can meditation do this?' I tell them, when we are in deep ecstasy, totally within ourselves, this can also happen. The orgasmic experience is not triggered by an external agent as we think; it is an alchemy that happens within us.
A dog once got a dry bone and started chewing on it. After some time, due to continuous scratching of the skin by the bone, its mouth started bleeding. The dog, thinking that the blood was coming from the bone, started relishing the bone. Little did it realize that the bone was as dry as before; it was actually relishing its own blood!
In ancient times, during what we refer to as the Vedic period, there was a great system of learning called the gurukul (where students stayed with the guru who was an enlightened master). Here, people from a very young age were given lessons on living life effectively. The whole system addressed life in four phases: the first phase called brahmacharya, was a period of study that helped enhance one's aptitude, the innate potential. There was available time and guidance to explore the potentiality and allow the understanding to shape the choice of one's profession. Please understand that the word brahmacharya does not mean celibacy. Brahmacharya means living with the Truth or Reality and refers to the study of life itself.
The second phase called grihastha, involved adult life. This was the phase in which marriage happened. Two people, man and woman, took the sacred vow to live their life joyfully and share their energy with one another, not just their body or mind, but their whole being. Living together completely and sharing this wholeness with each other is the true essence of the grihastha phase.
The third phase called vanaprastha involved removing oneself from all forms of social struggles. When one's children were mature and ready to take on the responsibilities of their lives, one was expected to retire from active life. One had the permission from society to drop out of the rat race and take the time to grow inside. One moved into a space that would help attain a deeper understanding of oneself. The old order smoothly made way for the new.
The fourth and last phase called sannyas was dedicated to prepare oneself to leave planet Earth. One had lived; now it was time to pack the bags and leave. The last phase was dedicated to understanding death. One was prepared for leaving the body. Then naturally, one's life became beautiful! Living was also beautiful, leaving was also beautiful!
But now, it is an entirely different scenario. There is so much of greed within us that we want to keep on achieving something or the other until the very end. We are always running in the rat race till we drop dead. I have seen so many people who attend office till the last breath. Why? What are they trying to prove? That is nothing but another form of greed. The society that they have created feeds this greed. Such a person is admired. Such an attitude is applauded.
Understand that greed will drive us away from enjoying life. We will be so busy accumulating that we will never find the time to enjoy what we accumulate. Too much greed makes us go against the natural flow of life. It will kill us even before we can start looking at what we have accumulated!
Greed never lets us enjoy life. We are never satisfied. We keep running till running becomes our very nature. How can a man who is running all the time ever enjoy what he is running for? To do that, he needs to take time off from his constant running.
In the same way, the deep fear of death stops us from enjoying life. It makes us dull, depressed and morose. Our whole life is joyless. All the time we immerse ourselves in futile activities. We convince ourselves that the ephemeral is the real. We believe that material acquisition and relationships will give us lasting security. As a result, the fear of losing leads to the greed of hoarding. We accumulate, but we never enjoy what we have accumulated. We are not taught to let go. We are strangers to the vibrancy of life.
We are afraid to see the simple truth that is all around us: the only certainty in life is death! Life and death, sex and death, fear and greed, all these are two sides of the same coin, two banks of the same river.
Right now, in the impure state, both are contradictory to one another. Once we construct the small bridge of meditation between these two banks, our whole life will be transformed!