Q: Master, how can we surrender the ego when this wanting to surrender is itself an expression of the ego?
A question to you: How are you going to surrender the ego, when it does not exist?
Suppose you are sitting in a dark room. You want the darkness to go out. But can you push it out? Can you fight darkness and force it to leave the room? NO! No matter how long you keep on trying, you are ultimately going to be defeated – and that too by something which does not exist!
Ego is like darkness; it has no positive existence. Just like darkness is simply the absence of light, ego is nothing but absence of awareness. To struggle to kill the ego is like struggling to push darkness out of the room.
To really expel darkness, what you need to do is to forget all about dealing with darkness. Focus your energy on light instead. Just bring a small lamp into the room, and you will find that darkness has fled on its own!
So, I tell you to forget all about ego. Instead, focus on bringing a lamp of awareness into your being. Bring the light of your consciousness to your unconscious zone. When your entire consciousness has become a flame, you will find that the ego is no more.
Ego is an illusion. You cannot surrender it when you are unaware – because you don't know how. Of course, you cannot surrender it when you become aware either because then you realize that there is nothing left to surrender!
What you have heard, read, been taught – 'Surrender the ego in order to attain self-realization' –is an utterly nonsensical idea. It can happen only the other way round. Self-realization dawns, and suddenly you cannot find ego anymore. Surrender has already happened, just like that.
However, I am glad that the question has arisen in your being. Ego is the root cause for all your anxieties, sorrows and tensions. It is your doorway to hell.
To actively feel that you want to drop the ego, to feel the need to get rid of this burden is in itself a step towards awareness. It shows that you are stirring from your sleep!
Acting without Attachment
3.17 One who takes pleasure in the Self, who is satisfied in the Self and who is content in his own Self, for him certainly, no work exists.
3.18 Certainly, he never has any purpose for doing his duty or for not doing his duty in this world.
He does not depend on any living being.
3.19 Therefore, one should work always without attachment.
Performing work without attachment, certainly, man achieves the Supreme.
3.20 King Janaka and others attained perfection by selfless service.
To guide others, you too must act selflessly.
Our Eastern Masters have declared again and again, 'You are bliss. You are love. You are eternal bliss yourself.' When you are bliss itself, what more can you ask for? When you understand and experience this truth, you are relaxed unto yourself; you are completely satisfied and enjoying yourself. Then nothing exists for you to achieve because you are already the ultimate thing you can achieve!
As of now, you are running behind something out of greed, thinking that when you achieve that, when you possess that, it will give you bliss. Either you are running behind something in greed or you are running away from something out of fear. You are afraid that something will take away your joy, your life.
Both these running towards something and away from something are irrelevant when you understand that you are a part of this loving Existence which is taking care of you every moment.
Existence is taking care of you every moment. Do you think you can be alive even for one moment if Existence does not want you to be alive? The very fact that you are alive proves that Existence wants you here, now, in this form, in this place. This is the ultimate cause for celebration! What more do you want?
Existence has provided, is providing and will provide for each and every one of your needs. Your suffering and struggle is only that you don't trust that you are being provided all that you need because you consider yourself separate from Existence, who you think is your enemy.
People look at my feet and tell me that I have such soft feet. They do not know that I wandered thousands of miles with no footwear in all possible types of terrains. When I walk upon Mother Earth with great respect and love, She cherishes me.
Even now when I enter Tiruvannamalai, where I was born and grew up, I stop wearing any footwear. From childhood I never wore footwear in that town. When I went to college by bus, I used to put on shoes after the bus left the border of the town and took them off when it reentered. It is a holy land that one must fall in tune with. Many of our followers take off their shoes when they are in this town.
Once I was on an elephant on a jungle path. The guide showed me a path, which was used by humans alongside the one on which the elephant was walking. The guide's path had no grass on it. The guide said that where man walks, no grass grows, but where the elephant walks, the grass does not die.
As humans we have lost touch with nature, with Existence. We have fallen out of tune with ourselves and with nature. Even in our prayers there is no gratitude, just seeking. We have become beggars.
Also, you are not satisfied with how Existence chooses to take care of your needs. You look at others and have a big list of wants based on what others have. You fail to understand that each of us is unique and each of us has been provided for with exactly what we need. Instead, you start looking at what others have and want that also. The greed sets in.
This is how you waste your entire life running behind desires and running away from life, from reality. We are focused only on the outer world. Our joys and sorrows are a result of this. As long as the outer world is responsible for your happiness, there can be no permanent happiness.
The person who is centered does not have to depend on external causes for enjoyment. He does not have to depend on other people for him to feel blissful. He does not need some particular event to happen to feel joyful. Constantly, the fountain of bliss is happening within him. He is enjoying within himself. He is enjoyment itself!
Actually, the fountain of bliss is happening spontaneously in each and every one of us. Please be very clear, When I say, 'It is spontaneously happening,' I mean it is happening without any reason. We always think that joy or happiness can happen only for some reason.
On the other hand, we feel we can be sad for no reason. Just like that, for no reason, you can be morose, sad, thinking 'What is this life all about?' But you always feel you need some reason to be happy.
It is you who is making all the effort to stop the fountain of bliss that is happening in your being every moment. The first level meditation program, Ananda Spurana Program, (Life Bliss Program Level 1) which deals with the seven chakras, the seven energy centers in us, is all about stopping this stopping of the fountain of bliss. The second level program, the Nithyananda Spurana Program*, (LBP Level 2) reinforces this and shows you how to keep this fountain of bliss happening eternally in you.
Here Krishna says a beautiful thing:
King Janaka was a beautiful example of a true karma yogi. He was a king. He ruled a kingdom and yet was unattached, liberated. Just like Krishna who ruled a kingdom and yet was a sanyasi in the truest sense of the word, Janaka was a model king who was untouched by the external world.
Once, a sadhu went to the court of King Janaka and saw how Janaka was neck-deep in the activities of his kingdom, living like a king. He then thought to himself, 'Janaka seems to be a materialistic person. He is entrapped in so many worldly matters.'
Janaka understood what the sadhu was thinking. Janaka called the sadhu and asked him, 'What kind of a sadhu are you! Instead of being happy and content within yourself, you are trying to find faults in others? This is a grave sin and that too for a sadhu, a person who is supposed to know about these things. For this, I have to give you the most severe punishment. You will be hanged to death next week.'
Now, the sadhu was terrified. He could not sit in peace. He spent sleepless nights thinking of the gallows. He dreamt daily that his neck was being tied to a rope. He became very thin and pale.
Janaka sent a servant to call the sadhu on the day of execution. The sadhu was unable to stand before the king. He trembled and fell on the ground. Janaka offered him some fruits and a cup of milk. The sadhu drank it, but his mind was on the gallows.
Janaka asked the sadhu, 'How do you like the taste of the milk now? Is it good? How did you relish the food these seven days?'
The sadhu replied, 'Oh king! I did not feel any taste in the food or in the milk that you offered me just now. My mind is only on the gallows all the time. I see only gallows everywhere.'
Janaka said, 'O sadhu, just as your mind is always on the gallows, so also my mind is always fixed on the Divine though I am involved in the worldly activities, discharging my duties of a king. Though I am in this world, I am out of the world. Work for the world, unattached like myself.'
Janaka, though neck-deep in the activities and administration of his kingdom, was completely unattached, liberated.
Once, Janaka was brought news that there was a fire in the city. Ordinarily, a king would have been agitated that part of his kingdom was in flames, and in danger.
But, Janaka said, 'My wealth is unlimited and yet I have nothing. Even if the whole of my capital, Mithila, is burnt, nothing is lost to me.'
It is not that Janaka was not bothered that there was a fire in his kingdom. He was completely involved in what he had to do but at the same time was completely detached from the incident. He was centered on his being, not on the world.
And I tell you, only when you are completely detached can you be completely involved. Otherwise, your very ownership and emotional attachment will be a hindrance to plunging headlong into the task. Only when you can remain without internalizing the incident can you perform the task in the best way without expectation and without being bothered about the results.
Q: Master, whenever I am in your presence all questions disappear and everything seems possible. But when I am away from you, all the familiar doubts creep in. Why does this happen and what can I do about it?
If a question disappears on its own in my presence, then it is time to realize that it was not a true question at all. It was merely a play of the mind.
When you are with me, mind is no more in control you simply flow into meditation. You become a loving, serene silence. In this state, only a question that is truly your question, one that is completely relevant to you, will still remain with you.
In my presence, you become so intensely aware, so completely present that there is no space for questions to arise. When you leave my presence, mind is free to impose the past and the future upon your present – for, what else are your questions but the play of the past and the future upon your present?
Just like the ego, there is no point in fighting with or condemning the mind. It is a pointless struggle that you will be sure to lose. Instead, it is enough to be aware that this is the very nature of the mind. It can be expected to behave in no other way. It is bound to bring in anxiety, confusion, and doubt.
Just to be conscious of this is enough. Do not pass judgment on the mind for its inane activities – even to be angry at your mind is to lose your energy to it.
As you witness the workings of the mind, you will slowly become aware that you are not the mind - you are more than the mind, you are the watcher. Once deprived of your energy, mind cannot go on! In place of chaos of thoughts that you call your mind, a clear, intense consciousness will arise. At that moment, all questions dissolve and the mind is no more. This is the experience you find yourself having in my presence. And what I have just told you is the way to make it stay with you always - even when you are not with me! It is a slow process; give it time. It will happen.