A small story:
One lady had just finished sending her six children to school, washed the clothes, swept and mopped the house and was going to have her lunch with sweat on her brow when the door bell rang.
She opened the door and found two men dressed like preachers standing at the doorstep. They told her, 'Ma'am, if you can spare us two minutes, we will tell you how to live till eternity.' The lady looked at them and said, 'I don't think I can take it.'
Life itself seems like a punishment to us because we have not found the inner happiness, the happiness of the soul. A general feeling of discontent and misery sets in because of this and we blame life for everything. Everything is in our mind, but we blame life for it. Because of this general feeling, we feel others are more blessed than us.
A small story:
Two ladies were talking to each other over a cup of tea. The first one asked, 'Does your husband love you?' The second one replied, 'I think so. Why do you ask'?' The first one said. 'Well. I always thought we were like desserts for these men.' The second one could not understand what she was saying. She asked, 'Desserts? What do you mean?' The first one said. 'Well, they order for their desserts after considerable choice and when the desserts arrive they always feel the other's dessert looks better. '
From small things to big ones, we never realize the worth of what we have and what we are till we are at the point of losing our possessions and ourselves. We always have an undercurrent of dissatisfaction in us.
When we are on the brink of losing our possessions, we start realizing and start scrambling after our wonderful possessions. We always feel what we had was more beautiful than what we have now, that the past was golden and the present is not so great. But when that past was present, we would not have felt that it was golden, we would have said the same thing about the previous past, that's all! This is how we always function, deluding ourselves all the time.
Just like the vision in our eyes extends only to 120 degrees, our mental vision is also very limited. Life is 360 degrees: remember that. By confining ourselves to this 120-degree vision and restricting ourselves to a limited enjoyment, we become solid and dull, without joy.
Because of our habit of seeing things in a limited fashion, seeing things through a negative frame of mind, we miss the joys of life. But this has become the normal code of conduct in society, to talk of one's problems endlessly, to be dissatisfied, to seek for more. As long as each one is immersed in his or her own problems, life seems to be all right and everyone is happy. Not really happy but happy that each one has got problems.
If people see us being serious, they think we are ok. If we laugh without reason, they think we are crazy. By being serious, we make our life our graveyard. Scientifically, it has been shown that the number of muscles that are to be kept tense in order to frown are much more than the number of muscles that are tensed when you have a good laugh!
I tell you, people who are against life are the ones who find it difficult to laughter is life; love, song, dance, all these are life. In laughter, you include everything and everyone. In your grief, you are alone. Laughter is all encompassing. When you grieve, you are stuck somewhere; it is excluding. But society strangely feels good when you grieve. It is too much for society if you laugh.
Society tells you that you are mad if you laugh for everything. It cannot bear to see you simplify things with your laughter, because if you simplify things, then society becomes powerless. As long as you are not laughing, society has a control over you. If you start laughing, society cannot handle you. You go out of its control. That is why children are often suppressed if they laugh too much.
Children are always liquid, always full of jov; they are intelligent. They are curious, always learning; they never think that their learning is over. They never take things for granted; everything is new for them: each sunrise, each tree and each flower. They do not need a reason to laugh; they are so spontaneous.
A small story:
A 40-year-old father was dyeing his graying hair.
His child, watching him curiously, asked him, 'Dad, why is your hair white when mine is all black?'
The father replied, 'Every time a person tells a lie, one hair turns white and after some time, in this fashion a lot of hair become white.'
The child promptly turned around and looked at her grandfather and shouted out, 'What a big liar my grandfather must be!'
This is how innocent and open children are! Intelligence is simplicity; it is also spontaneity and innocence. When we try to be intellectual, we are trying to impress people with our knowledge and not with our wisdom. We force ourselves into highly complex and convoluted logic just to show that we know better.
The problem is that we absorb knowledge only partially. What happens when you eat a lot and are not able to digest it? It will lead to indigestion and you will just vomit your half digested food on others without absorbing anything! The same thing happens with half digested knowledge. You just spew it on others without internalizing anything.
Intelligence, on the other hand, is spontaneous; it is fresh. In the gurukul (traditional schooling) system in ancient Bharat, what was valued was intelligence and not intellect. There were many child sages, who were celebrated, not just old men. The greatest guru of them all, Dakshinamurthy, is always portrayed as a young boy teaching a number of older sages. There was no linkage that was seen between age and wisdom.
A small Zen story:
A Zen master had to choose his successor. He drew a small black dot on a white board and called all his disciples together. He then asked them to tell him what thev saw. Almost all of the disciples said that they saw the black dot. One disciple alone told him, 'I see a huge expanse of white, in which there is a small black dot.' He was chosen as the successor.
Most of us are not able to actually see all that is visible to us. Our brain interprets just 2% of the images that the eyes send and that corresponds to what matches our expectations from the past.
In the same way, as we get tired of what we have and what we have learnt, all of us forget all the good things that happen to us; we take them for granted. We only remember the negative incidents that make us feel dissatisfied and unhappy. Actually this is the truth. The mind strangely recounts only the hardships, the moments of pain more easily than the moments of joy and pleasure. This is because of the deep and unconscious training that has gone into us.
By and by, we start talking of our problems in a big way with a lot of pride that we are managing such great problems! We boast that we are on sleeping pills or antidepressants or whatever. Our mind, our ego makes us feel big when we have big problems. Actually if you observe, the bigger our problems, the more important and solid we feel. We may not accept it but you will see that when people talk about their problems or hardships, and how they tackled them, they will talk with so much zest in them. The zest is an indication of the ego in handling the problems.
Over time, children learn these from us; it is nothing but neuro-linguistic programming handed down from one generation to another as a liability, not as an asset! We influence each other in this negativity. I tell you, share your sorrow: sharing reduces your sorrow in a way because you give vent to it when you share. Share your happiness as well, since sharing increases your happiness. Often, for fear of arousing envy or jealousy and constrained by what we believe to be the evil eye, we avoid sharing happiness.
All these are foolish things we do. Don't ever be carried away by things like the 'evil eye'. If you cast your eves properly on yourself and live with awareness, no one can cast any eve on you. This is the truth. Stop believing in these superstitious things. Start feeling the power within you, the energy within you, then, automatically you will stop thinking about the power that others can wield over you. You believe in all these things only because you don't feel strong enough within yourself.
So, share all the good things of life. Sharing is the basis of satsangs, a meeting of spiritual people. When a group of people gets together with good intentions, for the purpose of sharing goodness, for the purpose of doing good to others, there is enormous positive group energy that uplifts everybody. We rarely realize how powerful words are. If we listen to good words, we find peace; just being in the company of good people, just hearing good words being exchanged, even if we are not aware, it brings peace to us.
Those who are in professions that deal with a lot of negativity should take precautions. They should work towards building positive energy. Doctors particularly should be careful, they should meditate; they have so much negativity being poured into them. If you go to a hospital, you feel you are being drained of energy because the atmosphere is low on positive energy. In the same way that doctors are particular about washing their hands, they should also wash their minds. What we think, we become. We must work at building positive energy within us.
The problem is that we find it difficult to be spontaneous with others. We find it necessary to be guarded; we find it necessary to guard our ego.
Even if you have to go to meet a friend, you prepare what to discuss, what to do. This is because vou have no strength to face the situation with spontaneity. So, you write a script and just enact that. If something happens that does not conform to your script, you struggle to handle the situation. If you understand that Existence is your friend and it deeply cares for you, you will not feel the need to live according to a script. Instead, you will have tremendous courage and trust and you will live life spontaneously; instead of just reliving life as you are doing now, over and over again on the same worn out path; you will actually live your life in bliss.
When we look at ourselves and others, we tend to look down, not up. By looking up towards high standards, we grow. By focusing on negatives, we drag ourselves down. That is why we even say that getting attracted to some one deeply is 'falling in love'. If it were truly an uplifting emotion, we ought to be 'rising' in love, not falling!
All the fanaticism that is going around us is just ways of guarding our ego: Men against women, one religion against another, the rich against the poor and so on. Just let go of your ego. The feeling of separation will disappear. You will be liberated.
Only those who are rigid, those who cannot forgive and forget are the ones who suffer. They are caught in their web of morality and ethics and they find it difficult to forgive themselves for what they consider lapses in behavior. This anger and guilt settles within them and corrodes them.
Also, do not try to be perfectionists; nature itself stands testimony to that. Nature is so diverse and each creation is so unique, but not perfect in your sense of perfection. But it is total! It has such a totality and fulfillment in itself, is it not? This is what I mean when I say, 'Be Total'.
A beautiful small story:
A water bearer had two large pots, one hung on each end of a pole.
He used to carry the two pots everyday to the river nearby. fill them up with water and then carry them slung on the pole across his neck to his master's house.
One of the pots was a normal pot and capable of carrying the water filled to its brim.
The other pot had a crack in it and half the water in it spilt on the way from the river to the master's house.
The water bearer, however, did not mind and he used to carry the one and half pots of water to his master's house everyday.
Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, as it fulfilled the design for which it was made.
The cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection and miserable that it was unable to accomplish what it had been made for.
Day by day, the cracked pot felt more and more miserable.
Finally, one day, when the water bearer was filling it with water from the river, it said. 'I am ashamed of myself and am really sorry for having to put you through this.'
The water bearer asked, surprised, 'What are you feeling sorry about?'
The cracked pot replied. 'Everyday, you fill me up with water to the brim. But, I have been able to carry only half of it because this crack in my side causes the water to leak out. Because of my flaws, you have not been able to get the full benefit of all vour hard work,'
The water bearer felt sorry for the cracked pot and told it lovingly. ' As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path today.'
As the water bearer went to his master's house, the cracked pot noticed the warm rays of the sun falling on the beautiful, glistening flowers on the path and it was happy.
However, when they reached the house, it remembered the old feeling of not being useful and was again ashamed and sorry that it had leaked out half the water in it. It apologized to the water bearer again.
The water bearer said. 'Did you not notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path and not on the other pot's side?'
The cracked pot said "Yes."
The water bearer continued. 'Everyday while we walked back from the river, the water that leaked from vou has watered the flowers. Only because of that. I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the master's table. Without you being just the way you are, the beauty in his house would not be the way it is. '
Each of us has flaws. We are all like the cracked pot. But, we have to remember that we are all God's unique creations. If you think you are not good enough, you are saying that God is not the perfect energy. Don't be afraid of your flaws. They are not really flaws. They are just the way you are. Acknowledge them and you can bring something beautiful to life.
To do this, you need to start loving yourself, your body, your disposition; start becoming aware of vour body language, and it will become beautiful. Make this as a meditation and do it whenever you remember it. People ask me when they should do meditation. The best way to do any such meditation is whenever you remember it. Of course it is good to allot a certain time for it so that you don't miss doing it, but if you make it your all-time meditation, it will become your very nature, which is what you want it to become!
Life is continuously teaching you and that too, by the most powerful and effective means, that of experiences. It is up to you to open your eves and ears and absorb these, rather than being iudgmental and that too, based on your poor intelligence.
If you put all the people in this world in a line with the so-called best in the beginning of the line and the so-called worst in your opinion at the last, where will you stand? Most probably, you will be somewhere in the middle. You are neither going to stand out as the best nor are you going to stand as the most worthless person. If you are going to be somewhere in the middle of the line. then it is up to you to decide whether you want to look in front and feel sorry for yourself or to look behind and decide to make the best of what you have been gifted with.
There are some people who take life as it comes; they let go of things, including what we think are principles, morals and ethics. They have no guilt, no regrets. They are happy. Being moralistic does not make you happy; in fact, it makes you suffer because you wish to enjoy but are not courageous enough to enjoy. You suppress your wants and emotions. These suppressed emotions are dangerous like dormant volcanoes. We need to face our desires and emotions and manage them. The only way to do this is through conscious awareness. The only way to reach conscious awareness is through meditation.
God is one who remembers one good thing we did and forgives and forgets millions of bad things we do. Man is one who remembers the one bad thing of others and forgets million other good things! Such is the mentality of man.
We have no right to judge people. The sense of virtue and sin itself is a creation of society. That is why one thing is regarded in one society as a virtue and the same is considered a sin in some other society. Polygamy is considered to be all right in some societies while in some others, it is condemned. The laws of society are not ultimate truths. Rather, they are time-bound as they get created according to the needs and conditions of the given time and place. When you forget what went behind the making of that law, you start believing it with no reason to back it and get caught in the web of tradition.