Lust to love
Lust is a primal emotion provided by nature for continuation of the species. To go beyond lust is the first major step in realizing the ultimate potential of human life.
Humans are forever confused between love and lust. They think only animals are lustful. Actually only animals are capable of pure lust when they mate! Humans, with their rationalization, can neither be lustful nor loving. That is why they feel dissatisfied and unfulfilled.
Sex is carbon, love is diamond. Sex is mud and love is the lotus that blooms in the mud. It is the same substance – the only thing is, you should know how to process it. Just drop your expectations, and you will find a tremendous upsurge of energy.
Today, we know biologically that no man is 100% man, and no woman is 100% woman. A man may be 51% man and 49% woman. Likewise, a woman may be 51% woman, and 49% man; just a difference of 1%, may be more.
You have taken birth from the energies of your father and mother. Then, how can you be only male or only female? Whether we accept it or not, we are an embodiment of both male and female energies. We are whole, not divided.
Right from the moment of birth, society labels you as either male or female. And it expects you to start behaving accordingly. Inherent human nature is fulfillment. She starts looking to the outside world for a substitute for her own lost half. The male child starts searching for a female presence, and the female child for a male presence. This is where the whole idea of sex starts.
The search starts with the idea of how our 'would-be' should be.
A small story:
One 90-year old man used to sit every day at the beach from morning to evening, watching people going by. Another man who noticed this went up to him and asked him, 'What do you actually do sitting here everyday?'
The old man replied, 'I am searching for a woman to be my wife.' The man was simply shocked at this reply and asked him, 'Why did you not search in your youth?'
The old man replied, 'I have been searching since I was 30 years old.' The man was astonished and asked him, 'What sort of a woman are you searching for?' He replied, 'I am searching for a perfect woman.' 'The man asked, 'You haven't found one yet?'
'I found one woman who matched what I had in mind but it didn't work out well with her,' replied the old man. The man asked why.
The old man replied, 'She was searching for a perfect man!'
This is what happens when we try to get a perfect match for the image that we carry inside us.
But after a long search, we suddenly find a person who seems to match our mental image – from a distance. What happens at this point is what is called 'falling in love'. This is the science behind falling in love. Note that it is always 'falling' in love, never 'rising' in love! Because of our own strong needs and expectations, we see things as we want to see them. As long as this distance is maintained, things go on smoothly. We continue to project our imagination upon each other. But, as the person slowly comes closer we find that fantasy and reality are totally different.
We need to understand that no living person can live up to the image we carry in our minds simply because the image is not built from reality! No image can be matched with reality, because at the end of the day, it is only an image, a fantasy!