The Intensity of my deep spiritual experience
I had mentioned about my deep spiritual experience where I felt one with Existence and had a 360 degree vision of everything around me. There are so many people practicing so many different meditation techniques. What is the difference, what is the reason why the experience happened to a small boy?
I can say that one important reason is that my whole inner space was ripe, ready for this small technique to awaken and open it. Constantly I used to be in that high frequency of the masters without even my conscious awareness.
See, especially in the young age, whoever inspires or impresses you becomes the hero of your inner space. These great masters impressed me so much that in every situation I would think, 'How would these great masters behave?' For example, if I had some fear, I would remember, 'How will Annamalai Swamigal face this fear? He won't bother. He is enlightened. Let me also be like that.'
The inner space was so inspired and impressed by these great masters, that before every step I took in my life I would think, 'How will he behave? Let me also do that.' The inner space was so pure also at the young age and I had no heroes other than the masters. At every step I used to think, 'How will he behave? Let me behave like that. How he will do? Let me do like that.'
I used to go for a circumambulation of the Arunachala hill. It is more than 12 kilometers around the hill. I used to go late at night. When I had a little fear I used to say, 'How will Annamalai Swamigal behave? He won't bother about fear. Then let me also be like that.'
Let me tell you about one incident.
It was raining heavily that night as I went around the hill. I had some fear seeing the heavy rain, thunder and lightning. Immediately I thought, 'How will Annamalai Swamigal behave? He won't bother. He will just walk. Let me also do the same way.'
I was walking through the traditional crematorium. In Bharat both cremation and burial are done in the same place. I was walking in that place because when you go around the hill the path goes through that crematorium.
Suddenly I saw a dog biting something and eating. When I went near, the dog started barking at me. At first when the fear came up I thought, 'How will Annamalai Swamigal behave? He won't bother. Let me just go.' I started moving. Anyhow when I started moving the dog got scared and ran away.
When I got nearer I saw that it was a dead body which was not completely buried. It had come out in the rain and it was lying on the road. Just imagine a twelve or thirteen year old boy, alone at midnight, seeing a dead body without a head, since the dog had the head in its mouth.
The fear started but it did not even reach my being completely. The shock, the fear stroke did not even happen completely. As soon as the first thought started coming up, with intense awareness I thought, 'How will Annamalai Swamigal react now? He will just walk around and go. Just walk around and go.'
I continued to walk. That's all. I took a detour and walked away. I did not even turn back and see. The fear stroke, which was like a bubble, which was about to start, did not even open up, did not even reach my body. The heat or the shivering from fear was not even there in the body. It just died.
Intensely, the whole conscious inner space was ready. That is the reason, just a punch, just a small inspiration was able to put me into that experience. That is what I call 'Living Enlightenment'.
When you live the master's body language you live enlightenment.
Whenever any thought came into my inner space, whether it was related to clothes or food or anything, the first thing I would think was, 'How will Annamalai Swamigal behave? Naturally he won't have any desire. Then forget about it!'
If I felt a little lazy to meditate or to circumambulate the hill, I would think, 'How will Annamalai Swamigal think? How will he handle this situation? Naturally he will not bother about this laziness. He will just get up and meditate, that's all! So just do that!' So constantly, from morning until night, these masters became the reference. They became my life center.
I asked Annamalai Swamigal once, 'I saw Devi in my dream. Do you also see her in the dream?'Annamalai Swamigal replied, 'No, I don't have dreams.' I was shocked, 'You don't have dream! Then how can I have dream!'
That night I said to myself, 'Now, no dream. Annamalai Swamigal said 'no dream' so I cannot have dream.' You will be surprised, that night when some dream started happening, I said clearly from inside the dream, 'No! Annamalai Swamigal doesn't have dreams. How can I have dreams?'
The dream disappeared. Just the dream disappeared. The inner space was so thorough, so innocent, so direct, it just happened.
Even if I felt cold or anything, I would remember, 'How will Annamalai Swamigal behave? He won't bother. Then don't bother. That's all.' There were no further questions or arguments inside.
The Message of living enlightenment
You can also use this simple, powerful technique. It is so simple your mind cannot find any excuse to escape.
In any situation, ask yourself, 'How will master respond? How will master face this situation?' Do the same. You will see that a new door opens. This is what I call 'Living Enlightenment'. You don't need anything else. This one thing is enough.
Even if you are sitting, if thoughts come up, ask your mind, 'If master is sitting what will be coming up? Naturally silence. Then why are you thinking? Silent!' That's all. Nothing else.
If your mind says, 'No, no, I know it is true. I know this but it is too much.' Then think, 'If master's mind says this, how he will behave?' He would have finished the mind that moment! That's all. Just be very clear.
Take this one message and let this message become life in you, the message of Living Enlightenment. Understand, from the age of ten when I was inspired and impressed by Annamalai Swamigal, I started doing this technique. I didn't even know then that it was a meditation technique.
It just started, 'How will Annamalai Swamigal behave in this situation?' As a boy, many times in my home I have seen my brothers or family start fighting for some share in something and I would think, 'How will Annamalai Swamigal behave? He won't even bother! Forget about it. Let them have.' That's all.
Actually this is what I call relationship with the master. Relationship with the master is not just doing some worship or putting some flowers or worshipping him once in a while. No!
Relationship happens when you are thoroughly impressed by the master. Whenever anything comes up, say fear or insecurity or greed or anger, just see, 'How will master behave?' Simply it will disappear. It will just disappear.
Many times I tell people, just feeling strongly connected with the master is enough. You don't need anything else. It is not just your ordinary relationship. In an ordinary relationship, you neither try to understand nor imbibe the master. Just some feeling is there. I can't even call that as a relationship. It is an ordinary, regular interaction.
Feeling connected to the master means just living him. When you live the master, then you feel intensely connected to him. Only then you are expanding. Only then something is happening to you. This has not happened in most of us because of so many other relationships. So many other persons occupy your inner space and so many others have inspired you or impressed you or given the idea that they are heroes. Just fill your inner space with the master and watch your problems simply dissolve.
Be intense in whatever you do. Whether you eat, sing, dance, pray or work, be completely into that, in the moment.
Intensity is enlightenment. As of now, some part of you is intense while some part of you is lazy. Being hundred percent intense is enlightenment.
The first thing you need for living enlightenment is intensity. Intensity is the sword with which you can break the mind.
It is just like awakening from the dream. The first thing you need is the intention, the idea that you should wake up. So now you need to have the intense idea to wake up.
Understand, the intensity with which you work towards wealth, relations etc., if you just turn a little towards enlightenment, you will awaken.
Intensely decide, 'I will wake up from this life that I call life.' Create an intense will or prayer. When you create a will and direct it towards you, it is called a will. When you create a will and direct it towards the Divine, it is called a prayer.
Intensity is a strong intention to wake up, the strong intention for fulfillment, for living enlightenment, for eternal bliss. The only gap between you and enlightenment is intensity.
Remember how intensely and anxiously you run behind things that give you joy. Suppose I tell now that whoever prays intensely will get a ten million dollar prize, you will show the intensity of your life, is it not? Just because you think there is some product that will fulfill you, you are intense. With money you know it is going to add something to your life. In the same way, enlightenment is also going to add something to your life.
In order to have intensity towards enlightenment, you can start by creating intensity towards things that you have experienced a desire towards. For example, if you desire health or wealth, be intense about that. That yearning will become integrated and will get directed to the unknown, to enlightenment. Not only that, your unfulfilled desires can be simply burnt with the intensity.
Whatever you experience as fulfillment, yearn for that. The intense yearning is enough, it will evaporate you. And the fulfillment you experience will be many times more than the fulfillment you may have ever experienced before.
A M editation