So suddenly it struck Me, "If Ganesha has changed his mind now, how will he eat?"🔗

So I brought him out, placed some food also in the vessel, and started lowering him again. The bucket was almost touching the water surface, but nothing was happening. I did not have the heart to put Ganesha into the water either. It was too much. He really meant a lot to Me! He was no more a stone deity for Me. He was life for Me! If your child plays with a Barbie doll, you will understand what I am saying. For a child, that Barbie doll is a member of the family. In the same way, Ganesha was part of Me; he had become part of My very cognition! It was a very strong relationship, so I could only threaten him; I could not actually put him in the well! So, what to do? Finally, I took him out.

SUNDARAMOORTHI Now retired from the temple service, Sundaramoorthi is the cook who served at that temple kitchen at the time, from who, I got the temple food to feed my Ganesha.

I can say that I was really depressed and very worried. In a completely low mood, I was just sitting. I had practically fixed all the problems. Whatever I was supposed to do, I had done. When My grandmother did all those things to any child, the child ate. And I knew only those techniques; I didn't know any other technique. I had not read any book on how to feed Ganesha or how to feed kids. Whatever manual was there in front of Me, I had worked out fully. But nothing was working. Ganesha was lying there, and I was sitting.

One nice thing with shraddha is, even if you start with kutarka, the power of trust is such, the power of shraddha is such, that it will turn the whole thing to vitarka - right logic, because 'trust' is not just energy or logic, it is intelligence.

Tarka is logic, kutarka is negative logic, constantly negating, and vitarka is trust with positive energy and logic. The shraddha was so powerful that suddenly, something clicked in Me. Oh God! I can say this was one of the most powerful clicks that happened in My life; a very strong click! When I decided to make Ganesha eat, My efforts were inauthentic. But, only from there you can move to authenticity. Even with inauthenticity, if you take responsibility and enrich, I tell you: the cosmos will appear as the Guru and give you the shift towards authenticity.

The cosmos finally gave Me that click. At that moment, the inner awakening happened in Me, "Maybe something is wrong inside Me." I realized that Nambiyandar Nandi, the boy-saint who made Ganesha eat, had tortured himself, not Ganesha. He sacrificed himself! Here, I was torturing Ganesha, not Myself! That was the inauthenticity. I had to take the responsibility. I could not be constantly putting the blame on others! With this strong click, the kutarka became vitarka. The wrong reasoning became right reasoning. When that click happened, I thought, "Yes! Nambiyandar Nambi found fault only with himself when Ganesha did not eat, not with Ganesha or with the diet or with something else. He was not complaining about the outside; he turned inside." In My case, I was complaining about Ganesha. I was trying what My granny was trying. I was talking about the diet. I was thinking that My mother was not cooking properly. I was thinking about everything in the outer world. I was finding fault with everything external. Suddenly, I realized, "Yes!" And I turned and looked in, understanding that the problem must be within Me. Let Me work on it.

For every achievement, the inspiration is only from inside. For every expression, experience is from only inside. Look in! Turn in. Looking in, turning in, you will find the solution for everything. That is the only way to inner awakening! You are so obsessed with looking out, you never look in - because you were never told; you never tried; you never believed.

Look in! That is the essence of life! As long as you think others are the source of a problem, it will never be solved. I realized: I am the Source; I am responsible; I should sacrifice; I should take the responsibility and I should enrich.

Understand: the biggest transformation that can happen to any human being is realizing: 'I am the Source'. Just you understanding, 'I am the Source', and taking responsibility, will transform your inauthenticity into authenticity.

Kutarka, shraddha and vitarka

That vitarka, that click, that right reasoning, happened in Me! It is a contemplation, a blissful flowering and the state of pure awareness. Please understand: it was a very strong click. "Yes, in Nambiyandar Nambi's case, he did tapas (spiritual discipline), but in My case, I was torturing Ganesha! No, let Me do tapas."

Shraddha is like a loaded gun. When the right vitarka happens with shraddha, it is like triggering the gun. Without shraddha, without the strong trust, kutarka can never become vitarka; the wrong reasoning can never become the right reasoning.

See, the way in which thoughts are created in your system, if it leads you to the experience for which you are hardwired, you are having vitarka, right reasoning. When one thought leads to another thought, which leads to another thought, and suddenly you are in such a deeply relaxed feeling or experience, it is called vitarka. Any thought which creates negativity or ill feeling about yourself, and which radiates the same ill feeling about others, is called kutarka. If you are going against that for which you are hardwired, it is kutarka. If you are going in the direction for which you are hardwired, it is called vitarka.

So with shraddha, when the right reasoning happened, the trigger was pulled! Suddenly the click happened - "It is time I look inside; it is time I turn inside and change something inside Me."

Then I decided, "I am not going to eat till Ganesha eats." It was a strong will, authenticity. Even in those days, I used to be very strong-willed. Once I decide, it has to happen, that's all. It is Meenakshi's gift! With her authenticity, Meenakshi was just able to go straight to Kailash and finish off even Nandi!

Two days pass by… I don't give up!

So I brought the food again and arranged everything. I actually used to have a small shrine, a kind of a temple, in the rear of the house. It was My own. I would be staying there and spending My time only there. I can say that is the first ashram I built for Myself and My deities! I used to spend My time there, so that nobody would disturb Me. Usually they would send My food there, or I would go and bring My food when it was time. Otherwise, I would be spending the whole day there. So I sat there with all the arrangements for Ganesha to eat.

One day passed - and the food was still there! I was very strong about no question of Myself eating. So I would go and bring food, keep it in front of Ganesha, remove the old food, throw it away, and sit and wait. One day and one night passed. I was not even sleepy; I was sitting. I had a strong will from My young age. If I decide, I decide, that's all. Even now, no one can influence My opinions! No one can impress upon My decisions. At the most, they can only request. The only way to dilute Me is by a request! The only heat, which can melt this steel, is a prayer or request, nothing else!

Again, the second day also passed. I was very strong. See, usually, for a small boy, without food, naturally the logic will become imbalanced; the willpower will come down. But I said, "Nothing doing. I am going to do it. I am not going to eat till he eats."

We both sat. I did not have the doubt or the desire or the temptation of: "It's OK, I will eat." No! It was 'sitting with authenticity'.

one or two hours, I was in a different frequency. When I came down from that experience, the food was not there. In this frequency also, the food had disappeared! When he was eating itself, I was not in the frequency of seeing any other object; I was not seeing the place where he was eating, I was not seeing the plate, I was not seeing the food; I was in a different frequency. In that frequency I saw only Ganesha eating. So except Ganesha, there was nothing in Me at that time. When I came down to the normal frequency, I saw the same Ganesha and the same plate, but the food was not

So, in both the frequencies, the incident happened, but I experienced it in the higher frequency. When I came down to the lower frequency, I saw that the food was there. not there.

We may think some rat ate the food. In that case, the darshan (vision of the Divine) would not have happened. We may think the darshan might have happened in some trance. But then there is no chance that the food also would have disappeared. So, since both have come together - the darshan and the food going missing - it can be confirmed that the incident is the truth.