Part 3: Journey in Bliss
consciously, the ones which we know about and the ones which are there inside us. We will know that we have such desires inside us. We will know that we are wishing for such desires.
Next is Karpanai. Karpanai means such desires which are inside us unconsciously, without our awareness. Such desires will be inside us and we will not be aware of those desires. That is called imagination. Such desires which are there inside us at an unconscious level and are there inside us without our awareness and torture us are called imagination.
The desires which are there at a conscious level and those which are clear to us are called Bhavanai. The desires which are there at an unconscious level and which we are not clear about are called Karpanai. If we understand these two, then we can solve big problems in our life.
One person asked me: Master, I have lot of problems in my life. What will I do by attending all these Dhyanasatsang (group of highly committed people who meditate for their spiritual evolution) at this time?
I answered his question through this story.
One person asked a doctor: Doctor, I have lot of physical complaints, what am I going to do by coming to the hospital now and taking these pills?
Only a person who has got some disease is supposed to go to the hospital and take the pills. Similarly, a person who has lot of problems has to attend the Dhyanasatsang and do the meditations. Because for the person with physical ailments, the cure would be the hospital, similarly, for a person with mental ailments, Dhyanasatsang and meditation would be the cure.
Some people might think: I think I am fine at the mental level, then why do I need meditation and meditation discourses? Really, when we mean that we are healthy at the mental level, it means living beyond our mind and body. Really, if all the twenty-four hours the bliss is flowering within us, then it can be said that we are mentally healthy. If it is not that way and if there is something missing in that then it means we are not mentally healthy.
Understand the two kinds of desires, Bhavanai and Karpanai and we will be able to solve the biggest problems in our life. Understanding these desires are wonderful techniques, that help us understand ourselves, that help us to be in bliss and throw out the pain which is inside us. Karpanai indicates such desires which are inside us at an unconscious level, which we don't know that it is inside us and we won't even agree that it is there inside us. We must understand that we won't agree that we have such desires and we don't know that we have such desires. These desires will not just stay inside us, but it will also direct our life without our awareness.
We won't know why we took a particular decision most of the times. But only after making the decision, we will be cursing ourselves, as to why we took such a decision then. Is it possible for us to take a decision without our awareness? Not possible. Please understand that such desires are at an unconscious level and we are not aware of those desires. Why are we not aware of such desires? It is because the society does not accept such desires. Since society does not accept such desires, we are not letting those desires to be expressed out. We suppress our desires. We constantly control such desires. Just because we control such desires and keep it inside ourselves, it will stay inside the dream body.
For example if we try fasting for about four days, on the fifth day, we will dream of having a big feast. People who have been on a fast will be able to appreciate this. If we control something at a conscious level, it will show its face in our dream. What is dream? It is a place where we fulfill our desires, desires which we are unable to fulfill in reality. For example when the pressure inside the cooker is too much, it will find its way out through the safety valve. Similarly, when the desires inside crosses beyond a limit and we control such desires fearing society, then such desires express itself in our dream. The desire fulfills itself through dreams. The nature of the desire is that, if we don't fulfill such desires it portrays an unfulfilled life. Such desires show emptiness in our life. Even if we experience such desires then we feel that we are doing some mistake. Hence we feel guilty about it. Thus these are such desires which stay inside us without our awareness and which torture us.
The other kind of desire is Bhavanai. We will know that we have such desires and we will be working towards it. These kinds of desires don't torture or trouble us in our life. They don't put us in sorrow. These desires don't create any sorrow in our life. Bhavanai are such desires which will be residing in us with our awareness. What such desires will do is, if such desires are something which can be fulfilled then we will work towards it. If those are such that, it can never be fulfilled, then we will forget those and turn our focus towards something else.
Let me explain this with an example. Do any of us have any desire to be the richest man in the world? Do we constantly worry, thinking about it? No. None of us feel jealous about Bill Gates. Because we know for sure that we cannot become like him. We are very clear about it. When we have such clarity in some decision, we don't torture ourselves for that. The problem lies when we have a dilemma regarding something. The problem is when we are confused as to whether we can achieve something or not.
Let us see again if any of us feel bad that we are not like Bill Gates? No, nobody feels upset for that. Bill Gates is the richest man in the world. Do any of us all feel bad that we are not like him? No. But we feel upset that we have not become like our neighbor. The reason for this is that we have clearly taken a decision that we cannot become like Bill Gates. When we have such clarity in our decision, we don't worry or feel upset about it. So there is no problem. But as far as the neighbor is concerned, it is possible that we can become like our neighbor. There is a chance that we can become like him. Then only the anxiety comes.
We will have to understand something very deeply in our life. Failures actually do not affect us. It is the fear of failure which actually affects us. Please understand this deeply.
Even a very big failure does not affect us largely. When there is a failure by nature our mind has the ability and the strength to face it. Our mind can overcome the failure and stand up again. Even failures don't affect or cause worry to us largely. But it is the fear of failure that will be torturing us. Even defeat does not upset us, but it is the anxiety about being defeated which upsets us in our life. The constant fear of failure and the constant fear that we will lose something, it is that which puts us in biggest sorrow in our life.
When we know clearly that we cannot become like Bill Gates, we don't have any worries about it. But when we know that there is a chance for us to become as rich as our neighbor then our mind keeps thinking whether it will happen or not. Our mind keeps oscillating: Whether this will happen or not? Whether we can achieve this or not? Whether we will become or not? So thinking puts us in sorrow. The anxiety keeps torturing us.
If we see deeply, when we know that (Bhavanai) such desires which we are aware of can be fulfilled then we will work towards it. When we know that some desires are not possible to be fulfilled then we will forget it and do something else. That is, these desires are such desires for which we have clarity whether it will happen or not. When we are consciously aware of our desires, we will be able to save more than 50% of our mental energy. Instead of wasting our mental energy, we will be able to save it. 90% of our mental energy is just spent in imagination. More than 90% of our thought power is getting wasted in imagination. We don't know what desires are there inside us.
In America, one of our devotees said: Master, when I came to America, I had a list of things to be accomplished. I had a desire to earn a certain amount of money, own three cars, and I had a desire to create a particular kind of family environment. I had calculated that, to achieve this it will take twenty years. But due to my hard work, I achieved this in eight years only.
If we see really, Hindus work very hard when they go abroad. So far whichever countries I have visited, I have always heard that Hindus have earned a good name. Not just in countries like Singapore, Malaysia, but even the people in countries like America, Brazil and other countries have high regard for Hindus. The reason is because Hindus do not go into unnecessary issues and fraudulent activities. Hindus still trust and live based on truth. May be there could be some exceptions. But generally if we see the basic nature, like truth and justice are still prevalent amongst Hindus.
As per one of the international survey reports, the number of crimes in Bharat is proportionately less when compared to the population in Bharat. There is a general ratio, relating the population and the crime rate. But this ratio is less in Bharat, because by nature, Hindus are truthful and just. Of course there are some exceptions to this. But as a rule, the principles of truth and justice are prevalent in Hindus minds. They adhere to such truths in addition to working hard. Hence people in foreign countries trust Hindus. Many American companies just employ Hindus alone. Similarly, the small countries which are still under the rule of kings employ Hindus as their personnel assistants or in a trusty worthy positions in their inner circle. Still, there are many countries which are under the rule of kings. In those countries Hindus are employed in trustworthy positions such as an accountant or personal physician. The world trusts the ability and character of Hindus.
Let us come back to the American devotee's point. This person told me: Master, I achieved whatever I wanted to in eight years instead of taking twenty years to achieve as I had planned. He had achieved everything in eight years. Whatever he had mentioned in his list, he had achieved all of them. But he said: Whatever I had listed, I had accomplished all of them. But I don't know for what I wanted to achieve all this. Whatever I had planned to accomplish, like buying a house, a car, money, the family environment, everything I had accomplished. But I achieved all this thinking that I will get the bliss, but I didn't get that bliss.
Please understand that this person achieved such desires which were there in his conscious level (Bhavanai). But without his awareness there were desires at his imaginary level (Karpanai). Please get this concept clearly. At this stage we should get the clear understanding of Bhavanai and Karpanai. Bhavanai means such desires which are in us, which we are consciously aware of. Karpanai are such desires which are in us without our awareness.
As far as Bhavanai is concerned, he had achieved everything that he wanted to achieve. But with regard to Karpanai, he had not accomplished it. Whatever feelings and emotions he had dreamt of, whatever mental state he had imagined of, he did not experience or achieve. Whatever he wanted to achieve in the outer world, he had achieved, but whatever emotion or feeling or the mental state he had dreamt of he could not achieve and experience.
The problem is looking at both the objects of the outer world and the feelings or emotions of the inner world as one and the same. Most of us what we think is that when we see the outer space or external materials which are according to our preference, we will achieve the mental state or the emotion of our preference. That is the biggest mistake. The moment we face a situation of our liking, we think we will be in the emotion or feeling of our preference. This is the biggest mistake.
For the choice of our outer space things, we work and earn. Similarly for a mental structure or the emotion of our choice, which is in our inner world, we have to work and earn. To accomplish our preferred outer space, like the house, car, and other comforts, we work, earn and fulfill our desires. For the choice of our mental setup, we should clean our mind, do meditation and create a clear frame of mind. If we focus only with the outer space things or environment, a proper mental setup will not be formed. Just with the outer space, the inner space will not be formed. When we say heaven, generally what do we think? We think it is place where we get whatever we want. It is a place where we get whatever we think of. It will be like the way we think.
Many people come and ask me: Master, please bless me that whatever I think should happen. Any idea what will happen if such a blessing is given to him. The first thing that will happen is that he will put himself into trouble.
A small story:
There was a person who kept asking God that whatever he thinks should happen. God finally agreed to his request and said: I will show you a tree i.e. Karpa Vriksham (a metaphysical expression - a tree which fulfills all the desires) which fulfills all your desires. That person walked towards the tree and sat under that tree.
As soon as he sat there he thought: I am really hungry, I need good food. Then immediately food appeared in front of him and he ate delightfully.
After he ate, he thought: It will be good if there is a cot here so that I can sleep. There appeared a cot in front of him.
Then he thought: It will be good if there are maids to massage my legs. The maids appeared and massaged his legs.
Suddenly he thought: Oh whatever I think is happening, what will happen if a tiger appears here, kills and eats me.
That's all. A tiger appeared and killed him.
Please understand that without the ability to control our thought flow, if we have the power to achieve whatever we want, then we will be the first ones to face problems.
St. Francis of Assisi, an enlightened Master from Christianity says beautifully: God blesses us sometimes by granting our wishes and sometimes He blesses us by not granting our wishes. Sometimes God grants us our wishes and blesses us and sometimes he does not grant those wishes and blesses us. Some of us might wonder as to how He is saying that by not granting the wish, God blesses us. If a child asks for the sun for breakfast what can we do? Is it possible for the mother to grab it and give it to the kid? Even if she grabs it and gives it to the kid, can the kid eat it? It cannot. The kid, who asked for sun as its breakfast and goes towards the sun will die. Similarly in our lives are asking for many things, which we actually cannot handle or accept. Truly, we ask for many things that are not directly useful for us. We search for things which are not directly useful for us or things which are not going to give us any benefit. We search for many things which actually do not give us any bliss directly.
First thing we will have to understand is that it will be the biggest mistake if we think that we will achieve the mental state or mental set up, when we achieve the our choice of objects in the outer world. All of us think if whatever we think happens, we will be in bliss. Some of us might think that if we are able to achieve the outer space of our choice, we will have the inner space of our choice. Please understand that it is not possible at all. We must analyze our mind deeply, just once. We will know the pattern of our thought flow. We will know that it runs from one corner to the other corner. If someone grants us the boon that whatever we think will happen then the next moment we would have created a big mad market. Because the thought pattern in us is flowing wildly inside us.
If we understand this small example then we will know the pattern of our thought flow. We will know the speed of our thought flow. Assuming we are walking on the street we see a dog. As soon as we see the dog what happens? We will be reminded of the dogs that we saw during our childhood. Whichever dogs we saw and got scared, we will be reminded of those dogs. The next moment we will think about our childhood. Then we will think about our school teacher. Then we will be reminded of the house she lived in. Then we will be reminded about that house. Our thought flow will continue in this manner.
Sigmund Freud, the psychologist calls this as association. Truly is there any connection between the dog we saw on the street and our childhood teacher? There is no direct relationship. We are just associating and linking. Our mind does not act logically. Mind does not function based on common sense or in a straightforward manner. Sigmund Freud has kept a wonderful name for the mind. He is the father of psychology. He says more than 97% of the people in this world do not really think, they only do this kind of 'association'. Maximum only 2.5% of the people do the actual thinking. He also says that only such people who do the thinking rule the world. Let it be in the field of money or recognition or business, any person who actually thinks rules the world. Through any field whoever rules the world such are the people who do the actual thinking. Only such people, who think, rise up to the stage of ruling the world. Sigmund Freud says that the rest of the people don't think at all. They only do association. If you see, our thoughts do not flow in a clear manner.
Like in the example above, seeing the dog on the road, we are reminded of the teacher, then we are reminded of the house she lived in and so on the thoughts keeps flowing, without our awareness. Each and every thought is not created with our awareness, control and consciousness. Sigmund Freud calls this as association. When this kind of association happens in us, just imagine what will happen, if God grants us a boon that whatever we desire will happen? Actually it will not be a boon, but will be a curse.
The first thing to do is making the thought flow and our mental setup clear. Once we have a clear frame of mind then with whatever power we have and whatever situations we encounter, we will be in bliss. Please don't imagine without such a clear frame of mind, if our outer space comes to a better status, the quality of our life will improve. A person in the middle class thinks that if he gets a car or a house then he will be in joy. He works only for that. But really, if we see, if it is possible that someone can be in joy, by a car or a house, just come to our ashram and see, how many cars come to our ashram everyday.
As far as I have seen, bliss comes due to a mental setup and not due to outer space situations. Let me tell you a story to make this concept clear.
There was a great king, he goes to Lord Buddha. Truly, only kings can go to Buddha*,* because they have seen the the outer world and all the things in it. Whatever they wanted they have seen everything completely. Then once they come to a clear understanding that there is nothing in the outer space and something is wrong with their mental structure and mental setup, then they start searching. There is a beautiful word for that called 'depression of success'. Given a normal scenario, any person, who had worked hard, earned and accomplished whatever he wanted in life, will face the depression of success at any age of forty to forty-five. You all might have heard of depression of failure. That is you would have heard of the mental suffering due to failure. That is an ordinary thing. That is bearable. There is no problem in that. However there is a depression due to success, which I call 'depression of success'.
Many people come and tell me: Master, I have everything, a house, a business and all the outer space things. Everything I have, but still I feel like I am missing something. There is everything, but still I feel I don't have something. That is called depression of success. Whatever we wanted in the outer space, we would have accomplished. But we will not have the mental structure, the mental setup or the mental plane which we desired.
Please understand that we are wasting our life and constantly miss a chance to live life, since we don't know the difference between these two. I was talking about the devotee whom I met in America, who said, that he worked for eight years and earned everything. He said: Now only I understand that I had not been working in the right direction and have wasted my life. I feel I have been running fast towards something which I had not actually desired for.
Understand only when people face the depression of success, they look back and think: I have been running in life so far towards something and achieved it, truly why did I run for this and achieve this?
Only when they look back and think about it, they get a mental clarity to look beyond their life. Only when someone faces depression of success, truly he will be able to turn towards spirituality.
Now we come back to the story.
When that king decided to go to Buddha, the queen asked: Oh king are you going to Buddha for peace in your life?
The King answered: I am frustrated in my life; I am going to Buddha in search of peace. She said: I understand that you are going in search of peace, then in that case do not go as a king, go to him as a simple man. Only then you will get the help you need. That is good for you.
But this king is not ready to give up on his status and prestige. As soon as he reached the boundary of the place where Buddha was, he sent his message in a chit through the messenger that the king of a country had come. In the chit he had mentioned his name, and that he is the king of such and such a country.
Buddha saw the message and said: I don't have any necessity to see this person. Please send him back.
As soon as the king heard this statement of Buddha through the messenger, he felt very ashamed about it. But the king is intelligent. So even in that embarrassment, he had the ability to think. He knew that he made a mistake somewhere. Then immediately he took back the chit from the messenger and leaving his name there on the chit he removed other details about his country. Then he gave the chit to the messenger again and asked him to take it to Buddha again.
As soon as Buddha saw the message, He said:Oh! has he come? Please bring him here. I am waiting for him only.
It was the same person, same chit. As long as he used the designation, there was no permission for him. Once he decided to leave the designation as king, Buddha said: Come in.
The king then asked Buddha: Master, why didn't you permit me to come inside the first time?
Buddha replied beautifully: A king does not have any work here. The king has his duty only in his kingdom. This place is for people who are in search of spiritual wisdom. What work will a king have here? There is no work for him. But the moment you leave your designation that you are a king and come here as a simple man, then whatever you had been searching for and for which have come here, then you will really get it here. Then the king joins Buddha and he gets enlightened.
Only a person who has faced depression of success, only a person, who has seen whatever he wished for in the outer space come true can come to clarity that the external things cannot lead to a clear mental structure and a clear mental setup. Only when this understanding that things achieved in the outer space cannot lead to bliss in the inner space happens within us then we begin our search for such a mental setup. As long as we search for the external things, we will think that heaven is outside us. Only when we begin our search for the clear frame of mind, we will realize the truth based on the words, 'Heaven is inside you'.
One more thing, without our mind coming to a higher plane, how many ever things we acheive in the outer space we will not have the bliss. In Tantra Shastra, a wonderful research on comfort has been done. Tantra has done a wonderful research as to 'What comfort is'.