Integration versus Schizophrenia
The causal layer is also called the kaarana sharira. It is the layer which we are stuck in when we want to do something but do do not saying, 'I know it is right but I am struggling. I know but…'
If you are caught in this, you are dead. Over! You will neither achieve this nor that. Nothing can be done by you. What can be done by you? You will be stuck with this one idea for janmas (births) and janmas. This is what we call 'Kaarana Sharira' - giving reason.
If you feel, 'I know what you are talking is right but I am not able to do it' means you are caught in the kaarana sharira. You will never be able to get out of this layer unless you take a strong step and put your foot down. If you are caught in this layer, be very clear – nobody can save you. Nobody can save you. Do not be caught in the causal layer. That is what I call evil.
Anything integrated only is effective. Else you are just schizophrenic. In my own life, I can say how integration, integrated devotion was responsible for everything.
Integrated devotion is the devotion. Schizophrenic devotion is not devotion. If you say, 'I know it is right but I am not able to get that; I'm not able to get there.' Over!
Integrated devotion of THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM
The reason for my first experience is I never had that thought in my inner space. One of my great inspirations was the Master Annamalai Swamigal.
The great masters were my inspiration. I was so much inspired, impressed by those masters. The inner space was so pure also at the young age, there were no other heroes. The masters were the heroes and every step I used to think, 'How he will behave? Let me behave like that. What and how will he do? Let me do like that.'
I used to go for a circumambulation of the Arunachala hill; I used to go round the hill. It is 16 kilometers. I used to go late at night. When I had a little fear I used to say, 'How will Annamalai Swamigal behave? He won't bother about fear. Then let me also be like that.'
Let me tell you about one incident:
One day, maybe around the time when I had my first experience, it was raining heavily. I was going for a circumambulation. I had the fear – heavy rain thunders, lightning. Immediately I thought, 'How will Annamalai Swamigal behave? He won't bother. He'll just walk. Let me also do the same way.'
And I was walking through the traditional crematorium where people are cremated in Bharat. In Bharat both cremation and burial are done in the same place. I was walking in that place because when you go round the hill the path goes through that crematorium of Arunachala, the city's cremation ground.
Suddenly I saw one dog biting something and eating. When I went near, the dog was trying to bark drive me out. At first when the fear came I thought, 'How will Annamalai Swami behave? He won't bother. Let me just go.' I started moving. Anyhow when I started moving the dog got scared and ran away.
When I got near I saw that it was a dead body which was not completely buried came out in the rain and it was lying on the road. Just imagine a 12-13 year old boy, midnight, dead body without head, because head is in the mouth of the dog.
The moment the fear started, it did not even reach my being completely. The shock, fear stroke did not even happen completely. The moment even the first thought started coming, the awareness was so intense I thought, 'How will Annamalai Swami react now? He'll just walk around and go. Just walk around and go.' I went; that's all. That's all.
Just I took a detour and walked. I did not even turn back and see. I just walked. The fear stroke did not even reach my whole body. The fear stroke, which was like a pebble, which was about to start did not even open up, did not even reach my body. The heat or the shivering, the shaking was not even there in the body. Just it died. It was not there.
Just the decision, 'If Annamalai Swamigal does, I will do. Over!' Nothing else, that's all. When any thought came up inside, I would think, 'How will Annamalai Swami respond to this thought? How will he respond?' If I get the response, 'He will not have this thought.' I will just say, 'Then forget about it. It's not mine.' Over!
See, who inspires or impresses you, they become the hero of your inner space, in the young age especially. These great masters, they impressed me so much. In every situation internally I would calculate, 'How would these great masters behave?' and I would do the same.
For example, if I had some fear I would remember, 'How will Annamalai Swamigal face this fear? He won't bother. He's enlightened. Let me also be like that.' The inner space was so inspired and impressed by these great masters, every step in my life I would think, 'How will he behave? Let me also do that.'
For example, if there were some sweets, my brothers would jump, 'Hey, I want this much share.' I would simply think, 'How will Annamalai Swami think? He won't bother. He'll just keep it in one corner. Let me also be like that.'
Intensely, the whole conscious inner space was ready for the spiritual experience. That's the reason, just a punch, just an inspiration was able to put me into the first spiritual experience. This is what I call 'Living Enlightenment'.