When I say I'll take care, stop worrying, and keep quiet.🔗

Every year since 2004 Nithyananda has taken with him a group of people on a Himalayan trip. From less than a hundred in the first year, the group size grew to over four hundred in 2007. During this yatra, the pilgrimage, Nithyananda traveled to many major pilgrimage spots in the Himalayan region, including the char dham, the four recommended holy locations of Yamunotri, Gangotri, Kedarnath and Badrinath. Yamunotri and Gangotri are the sources of the holy rivers Yamuna and Ganga, and Kedarnath and Badrinath are temples to Shiva and Vishnu consecrated by Adi Shankara himself.

In addition to these four major pilgrim locations, the pilgrimage covers Rishikesh where the trip starts and Hardwar where it ends. Both Rishikesh and Hardwar, about 20 miles apart, are at the foothills of the Himalayas and are landing pint for Ganga on to the plains. The incident covered in this chapter occurred in Hardwar where Nithyananda had spent time during his wandering days in the Himalayan region.

Let us present to you in Master's words:

It is a very sweet incident, very wonderful incident. I was sick at that time, not simple fever or cold or something like that. Very serious! All doors opened at a time: diarrhea, vomiting, fever. I never used to have fear that I will die or anything. That time too there was no fear but I had clearly decided that I am going to die.

The will to live is lost. Understand: the will to live is lost. Body is drained to that extent. Body has lost its ability even to move, completely to that extent. I decided I think I am going to die. The will to live or to heal your self is lost.

I was thinking about what Krishna says in the Gita,

ananyaschintayante maamyejana pariupasate

veshaam nithyabhiyuktaanaam yogakshemyam vahaamyaham.

I take care of all the needs and all the comforts of all those who remember Me and reside in Me.

Krishna promises this in Gita. Then I thought that it is not the time to verify Krishna's promise but to check whether I really resided in that way.

See, even at that time of desperation, I did not think, 'Let me check Krishna out. Will He come to take care of me and give me food and medicine.' Instead I thought, 'If I am really residing in Him as He says in Gita, If I am really one with Him, remembering Him, nothing but Him, things will happen as He wants. He will do what he promised. Otherwise, there is some problem in me. Why then should this body be maintained? Let it die. I may take one more body and mind, and at least in that I shall try to do what He said.'

So, it was very strong decision not only not to move the body but also not to ask for any help. And I was lying down under bridge near the Ganges river all alone. Nobody even knew I was lying there.

Two days passed like this. Second day noon, suddenly one young sadhu came to me. It was quite a remote place. Only now it has become part of the town. In those days, more than ten years ago, it was far away from any habitation. There was no possibility for anybody to come there by accident.

This sadhu suddenly appeared, young sadhu, and he had brought food in a plate and water in a small tumbler. I ate. He had also brought some medicines. Again that evening he came. Over the next few days he brought me two meals each day along with some medicines. I do not remember the name of the medicine. He would say, 'Hey! Eat this food and take this medicine.' And I did what he asked me to. That's all. The medicine looked like a tablet, whether it was ayurvedic or allopathic, I don't know.

Anyhow, he will bring food, water and medicine. By the second day, I became a little curious. Young sadhu, he is speaking in English and I don't know Hindi much. He speaks in English. For no reason at all he was so compassionate and loving and bringing me food and medicine.

One thing about him attracted my attention. He had a pen with studded with very valuable diamonds. This pen was in his shirt pocket. Though I say diamond, they may have been some other costly stones. They were sparkling and looked very expensive. Usually most sadhus will not carry a pen because most of them do not read or write. Even if they did they will not carry a pen so costly. They won't spend so much money on the pen.

Though I saw the pen and I was curious I didn't ask him anything. Everyday, may be for some four five days, till I became alright he came regularly, twice a day, morning and evening bringing food and medicine. He would spend some time with me talking few words to give me courage to live, the will to live or whatever you may call it.

It was very sweet relationship, very nice feeling. I started thinking, may be I lived like Krishna said. That is why I have been taken care. Suddenly out of nowhere, food and medicine came. I was taken care.

I became alright after a few days. The sadhu stopped coming. After one week, I got little energy to go around as usual. I am the type of the guy will never sit in one place. In Tamil there is a proverb that if you pour hot water on your leg, you can't put your leg in one place. You will be jumping continuously. I am that type of guy. I am restless.

Then I started moving around. I was curious to go and see this young sadhu who came and gave me food everyday. I had asked him about who he was, his name, his address and where he lived when he used to come and give me food. He named a particular ashram nearby and told me that he was from that ashram. As for his name, he said he was called Shankar Maharaj.

The plate in which he brought food for me had that ashram's name engraved on it. In India, this is a custom. In the plates and tumblers they will write the ashram name. All the plates will be engraved. Even in our Bidadi ashram, you will see Dhyanapeetam name engraved in all the vessels and plates because people don't steal and take it away. The engraving will be done as security.

So because the plate also had the name engraved, I believed what he said. I thought let me go and thank him. So slowly I walked to the ashram. When I found that place, there was only an old sadhu sitting there. There was a small temple and this old sadhu sitting on the bank of Ganges.

I asked that sadhu whether I could meet Shankar Maharaj. He was sitting and rolling his prayer beads. He looked up and said, 'No, There is no one here with the name of Shankar Maharaj.'

I said, 'No, no, a young sadhu came to me few days ago from this ashram. He gave me food. I want to see that Swami.'

'No, there is nobody here. Go to some other ashram and look.'

I insisted, 'No, no, he gave this ashram address only. He gave me food also. That plate, this ashram address and name only was engraved on the plate.'

Then he lifted the head. 'What was his age?' He was completely irritated because I was disturbing his prayers. He was not doing his japa with closed eyes. He was sitting and looking this side and that side. Old guy! He does not know English also. That is another one problem.

I said 'Around 30 or 35.' He got very irritated.

He shouted, 'In this whole ashram I am the only sadhu. Don't you see my age?'

I did not let go, 'No, no, no, he said his name is Shankar Maharaj. He was from here.'

Angrily he shouted, 'We have only one Shankar Maharaj here. That is he there. If you want go see him and leave.'

I looked at what he pointed. It was the small temple. Inside was this white marble idol of Shiva. I went near the idol and I saw that the idol had the same pen that Shankar Maharaj was wearing. There was a shawl that had been wrapped around the idol and this pen was clipped to that shawl.

I was shocked, completely shocked. No Shiva idol will have pen, especially a diamond pen. I went closer and I saw the same plate in which he gave me food placed in front of him. I could not have made a mistake. These were the same pen and the same plate that Shankar Maharaj carried. The food on the plate, the offering, the prasad, was also the same food that he sued to bring me.

Whatever you may understand, that I don't know! It is up to you. But I know for sure, it's the same plate and same pen and same dishes.

I promise I am speaking the truth. I promise that I am saying the fact. It happened. That's all I can say. I can't say anything else. Whatever you think as I respect in my life, I can promise upon that. I am stating the fact as it happened.

Then I went to that sadhu, touched his feet and I asked him, 'Where is that pen from? Who gave it? Did somebody give two pens? Or has some other sadhu got one more pen like that?'

He said, 'No, some devotee brought it and placed it at the feet of the idol. I put it on the Shiva statue because I didn't know how else to use it. The pen was looking very attractive and I thought it looked good if Shankar Maharaj wore it.'

You see, any glittering stone, they will use it for decorating the deity. I asked, 'Why did you put the pen on Shiva?'

'No, no. Not for the pen, that stone was shining. So I put it on Shiva to look good.'

I asked, 'Who gave that pen? Did they bring two?'

He got irritated by then. 'Don't bother me any more. I don't know all that. If you want, take it and go. That devotee gave only one pen. I put it on Shankar Maharaj because it was shining. Why are you sitting here and disturbing me? Go.'

I asked, 'do you have another plate like that?'

'No, this is a small ashram. We are part of a bigger ashram. They gave only one plate for us. How many do you think we will we have?'

You see, it was an old plate. It used to have that dents. The same dents. Same plate!

And I enquired him. I asked him, 'did anybody take this plate from here?' 'Will I allow? I lock the door properly and I sit here and take care.'

Then I asked that sadhu, 'Are you sure that nobody has taken this plate and this tumbler away from this place?'

He said, 'nobody can touch this plate and tumbler except Shankar Maharaj. It is only for him. It is only for Shankar Maharaj. Every morning and evening we give him food and then we lock the door leaving the food there.'

I said, 'that is what I want to confirm, thank you' and I left.

After that casually I asked that sadhu, 'Even now do you do offer the food and go away locking the door.'

He said, 'No, this last one week rats have been coming and eating the food. The food had disappeared. So I stopped closing the door and going away. I sit here and do japa till the naivedya is over. I stay for about half an hour for the food offering ceremony, naivedya, and when it is over I take the plate and go'.

I know which rat ate the food. Poor man, it was his food. After the ritual offering he ate this food and for those few days he must have suffered.

I know it is very difficult for ordinary people to believe this. Very difficult! See because you guys experienced me a little bit and at least you guys have got that trust that this guy won't tell a lie. I have no reason to sell anything. See I have nothing to gain by selling that Shankar Maharaj to you. You understand! It is not even our temple, some ashram temple. I have nothing to gain by promoting him, by promoting that Shankar Maharaj.

All I know is this happened. Fact! That's all. So now we know

Ananyaschintayante maamyejana pariupasate

Veshaam nithyabhiyuktaanaam yogakshemyam vahaamyaham.

I take care when people reside in me, remembering me, nothing but me. I take care of their needs and comforts.

He is still fulfilling his promises. Understand, there are some contracts, some promises that are outdated after three years legally in some countries, some will be outdated after ten years in some other countries. This is the contract that can never be outdated, which will never be outdated. It is an eternal promise.

Last year we traced that temple. I think in Nithyananda volume 1, if you see that photograph will be there. The photograph of that Shankar Maharaj will be there, means Shiva, will be there. I am making exact replica of this idol for Los Angeles.

Some one asks: Is the pen still there?

No, now the pen is not there. The pen was there only at that time. Now, last year when we went, that pen was not there. You see! Pen and all the offerings, they will throw them away after a few days because it is not a big thing for them, you see. It was a great thing in my life but for that sadhu, it was not a big thing. I never told him about that incident. He thought rats ate his food. He may have been upset if he knew that I was the rat who ate the food.

He still walks on planet earth. Still he walks on the planet. Still he walks on the road without footwear if some devotee is sick. He was not even wearing a chappal (footwear). Still he walks on the road if the devotee is sick.

When I saw the same pen, the shock was so much that tears were rolling down my cheeks and he was just sitting and smiling, saying as if, 'you understand who gave you food'. Small shrine, we will go and see tomorrow.

We will go and see tomorrow morning. Tomorrow morning we will go for a walk and see where I was lying down. Because I was having continuous diarrhea, I slept near the Ganges itself. How many times to go to wash? It becomes a big difficulty. I was not even able to move. So I slept on a concrete bench and kept a small Shiva Linga near me. I thought if I die, I will leave my body near Shiva Linga. That Shiva Linga is still there. Somebody has now installed it. I had it like a small stone kept standing. I did not install with cement and all those things. Now somebody has installed it properly. You can see it when we visit.

We read in stories and puranas that God comes and gives food, and He comes to takes care and all those things. This time not only he came and gave food, he left strong evidences because it has to be told to the world. It has to be told the world for inspiration. So he created enough material for marketing also. He created clear evidence, strong proof to tell the whole world.

It was such a strong experience, not just the food. It gave so much of inspiration and courage again. Just imagine, when something like this happens in your life, how much more of courage and confidence on this Vedic tradition happens. That is why I tell I have no right to claim any ownership or credit for my enlightenment. All these incidents happened again and again to provide the courage and inspiration for others to continue the path. These were pure gifts of grace. I have no right to claim any credit.

That is why I say I just place it at the feet of these great masters. It is they who did it. You can say, once more they did it. That's all!

Otherwise, as an individual I can't claim right over whatever happened to me. As an individual, I can't even claim right over this whole organization. How can a 29 year old person do all this? You know my Indian background. I was born and brought up in a village only, a mountain village, practically a small tribal village, which was not even a town. Only now it has become a town. Hardly three buses will come into town everyday, that kind of a small village. Suddenly I am sitting on the throne. Whoever sees me, they just obey and they follow me like a pied piper. Like in that story where the piper goes and all the people follow. Like that, this guy goes, the whole crowd follows. Things are happening. This fellow is not even aware what all is going on. I can't claim any right over any of this.

I am sitting and telling you this publicly. I cannot claim any right over this whole mission. May be you are sitting there and playing your daily game and I am sitting here and playing the this great cosmic game. Alright!

I think I don't feel like telling you anything else. Now whatever can be said has been said. Not only all your inner spaces but my inner space is also filled with Shankar Maharaj. So everything else seems to be too pale, too shallow. These foolish questions, later on, we can see. Alright!

Actually these questions will all disappear if you have at least one glimpse like this in such a solid way that shakes your whole being. Then no questions will be left.

You see, you being hollow, is the plan for miracles. Whenever a low pressure or a depression happens, the cyclone comes there. Am I right? The heavy cyclone or a tornado happens there. Same way, a hollow empty space you create in your heart or the pure space, suddenly a big cyclone of cosmic consciousness lands on you.

Have you seen a tornado? See, when a tornado brings small things, small pieces of broken things from here and there, they come with great force. A straw caught in a tornado can act like an arrow because of the speed.

Same way, when the cosmic tornado happens, small events caught in the tornado become miracles. They are the miracles you see in the day to day life. So creating a hollow space, empty space is the plan for miracles, in the life.

So tomorrow morning we will see the place where I was lying down and we will the Shankar Maharaj. We will have Maheswara Puja. I always thought of doing Maheswara Puja here, giving food for sadhus. Because He gave food for me, I always thought I should give food to sadhus here. Tomorrow we will have Maheswara Puja at that spot.

We have all our swamis here. Hardwar is the place to give Maheswara Puja. That is the way we will give food for Shankar Maharaj, Mahadeva, Shiva. They say if you perform Maheswara Puja, Mahadeva himself will come in the form of a sadhu, will sit, eat and go. Now we know he came not only to eat, he came even to give food in the form of sadhu. He came and gave food. So we will do Maheswara Puja.

In the Bidadi ashram also we will do Maheswara Puja. I sent them a message already. Tomorrow we will have offerings for Shankar Maharaj there too and do arti. He gave me food in an old plate! Copper plate, still I remember and a tumbler. That's what I was wondering. This fellow is having diamond pen and having an old plate. He did not even have a good plate. Now we know he brought what he had.

See when these things can happen in my life, it can happen in your life also. Let me tell you very clearly. I know many of you guys are thinking, 'no, no, Swamiji is qualified. That is why it happened. In our life, it won't happen.' Nothing like that!

See, the only qualification I had I can say is I did not have this inferiority. That's all. I neither felt inferior nor superior and I know is he made a statement 5000 years ago and he did not say this contract expires after 200 years. So naturally the contract is still alive. So we know for sure he will fulfill his contract. That's all.

So understand, never ever think that it won't happen in your life or you are some way inferior. And one more thing! Let me tell you very boldly. I had all the problems that you have. When I say all, I mean ALL, all problems that you have. So never ever think that I am some way special. That is why it was given to me.

The gifts are not given seeing the qualification. If it is given based on qualification, it is a bargain, business. It is not gift. Gifts happen only just out of compassion. Just be ready, be prepared for miracles. Don't plan your life too much. Just be simple. You will see so many miracles happening in your life. Living in a simple way is the plan for miracles.

There is a beautiful stanza, verse by Ramana Maharishi. He blesses Shiva. Ramana Maharishi blesses Shiva. May you save people, fools like me and live for ever, I bless you.

So if He can bless me, why not you guys? Surely, he can. He will. It does not happen by seeing qualification. He is asudosha. Asudosha means one who is easily pleased. It does not take much to please him. Asudosha! Pleased for no reason. He does not look for anything but receptivity. Even receptivity word I don't want to use. Even receptivity, you will start giving your own meaning. It does not take anything. Simply, it starts happening. He blesses.

He has to show to you all guys because he has to prove my words are true. Unless he shows in your life, how can he justify my words? Now, I am claiming that all this has happened. Now it is His responsibility. Now you have right to demand proof. Just by qualification, you sat and heard what I spoke. You have the right to ask for the proof. Now he is responsible to prove. He has to prove. Otherwise my words become useless. Otherwise my words have no base.

If I have spoken the truth, if it has happened what I said, then he has to show that in you guys also. He has to prove it to you all also. He has to prove. He has to give at least at glimpse. He has to give at least the water that washed that plate or at least little bit from that plate. You will see he gives, someway. Someway, he has to play in all your lives also. The divine consciousness has to land, has to descend. Some experience or some glimpse of enlightenment, or glimpse of darshan, someway he has to give.

Alright, I bless you all that He will give. If what I said is true, if what I have spoken is the truth, if it has happened to this body I promise He will do it to all of you. He has to do it to all of you. He has to give at least one glimpse. Only then the words that are uttered by this mouth are justified. It is now His responsibility.

See His energy gave me this experience, and it gave me the inspiration to express it. First He gave the experience to this body, then He has given the inspiration to express it to the people. Now it is His responsibility to prove and give this same experience to all the people who are waiting and asking for it.

Ramana Maharishi asks Shiva, it's a very strong word but it's ok I need to tell you. He says aarakkaganai aandanai agarttidi akhilam baritidum arunachala. Literal translation is, now in that joy and ecstasy I am going around telling everybody and if you don't go and show that same thing to them, will the world not blame you.

So now, same thing I have to ask him. You gave this experience and you gave the same thing. I am going all over the world telling people that all these things happened. Now if you don't show the glimpse to them, will they not blame you?

I have the right also to ask Him because He already got involved with me. And now I know the insider secret. Understand with this authority, I am the living proof of what I am speaking or I am the living descendent of this great Himalayan Masters' tradition or these enlightened beings. So with this authority I promise that whatever I have spoken is the true experience given by them. If it is truth, if it is fact, they who did the whole thing, if it not a foolish or a nonsensical thing, if it is authentic truth, if it has all come out from the very source of that truth, very satya, I promise you all will have a glimpse.

For many it is either disbelief that such an experience can occur at all or for those of us who believe in what the master says the feeling that it can happen to him but how can it happen to us. Despite all that he says about needing any qualification except faith, our conditioning in such matters is so strong that the conscious mind cannot overcome the logical barrier of doubt.

During the Himalayan trip of 2005 Nithyananda spoke to us about this incident. We were walking along the Ganges away from the ashram w were staying the night. In the morning he had taken us to a bridge across the Ganges from where he told us to cast away the sacred yagnopaveda thread that he had placed on us at Rishikesh when we started the journey. Its job in protecting us was accomplished now that we were back in the plains at Hardwar. We then started walking with what we thought was with no clear purpose. After a kilometer Nithyananda told us that we had come the wrong way. He said he was looking for the bridge under which he spent the few days when he met Shankar Maharaj. We then turned back. On the way back he told us about the incident in detail.

A year later in June 2006 we again came back to Hardwar. This time early in the morning Nithyananda gathered all the Nithya pilgrims and told us that he would take us to some of the locations that had a special memory for him. Those of us who had been with him the year before knew of the background but we still had no idea where the locations were. After a distance of about a kilometer and a half, Nithyananda told a few of us to go down the steps that we saw at a distance to see if there was a Shiva Linga and a bench below. When we went down the steps we found small tunnel way under the roof of which was a cement bench. The tunnel led to the Ganga river and on our left was a tiny Shiva temple with a linga. We rushed back and excited told him this. The entire group went down with Nithyananda to the river bank where he told us about how he had spent a few days on this very bench many years earlier terribly ill and how Shankar Maharaj nursed him back to health.

The next stop was the ashram where the Shankar Maharaj temple was. Nithyananda did not remember where it was except that it was on the banks of the Ganga and that it was a small temple with a white marble statue of Shiva in a sitting posture. He had a recollection that it was near Gita Bhavan, a well known landmark in Hardwar. All of us walked to Gita Bhavan another kilometer and half away. By then it was time for lunch and the kitchen crew had followed us in their van and had brought us lunch. While the group had their lunch a few of us enquired at the Gita Bhavan whether there was an ashram and a Shiva temple around. One of the senior monks laughed and said that every alternate building there was an ashram and each had a Shiva temple! We then asked him where the river bank was. He said it was behind their building and we could reach the river through their rear gate.

Nithyananda was excited at hearing this and started off with a half a dozen of us. We walked out through the rear gate while the rest of the group was told to stay in Gita Bhavan. A little distance further he saw a large building, a large ashram and walked in. When we asked one of the residents told us that there was a Shiva temple at the back. Very excited two of us ran to the temple. It wasn't quite what Nithyananda had described. By this time Nithyananda arrived there and said this was not the place. We scoured the entire area and finally located the priest of that temple and asked him whether there was another Shiva temple in that area. He led us inside the ashram through a narrow path to the river bank. Almost on the banks of the river facing the river was a small shrine with a white marble Shiva statue. On either side of the shrine were a few rooms.

After all the disappointment so far we didn't quite believe that what we found was what we were looking for. When we went back to Nithyananda who was still a distance away and told him, he came down with us excitedly and when he saw the shrine rushed to it saying, 'This is the place. This is Shankar Maharaj.' We brought the rest of the group to this temple and as we sat with the master he recounted many more details of what happened. The Shiva statue was exactly like what Swami had described even to the details of a shawl around him. But there was no pen! There was no diamond studded pen on the shawl!

We talked to the priest who brought us to the shrine and with him to some of the older ashramite monks. They had no recollection of the pen. When we told them Swami's experience they were excited. One of them said that something similar had happened once earlier when Shankar Maharaj had given darshan to another person. In all subsequent Himalayan Yatras visit to Shankar Maharaj has been part of the itinerary.

For those of us who had been with the Master a few years, this incident was a flash back in time, a déjà vu. This was not the only time Shiva came to visit Nithyananda.

A few days later on the 28th of January 2005, Siva walked in to Bidadi ashram. Nithyananda said:

It was early morning, about half past five. I had come out and was standing on the threshold of my room with one hand on the door lintel. I saw some one walking past close to the verandah in front of me. Since normally no one comes into this area. I was surprised and shouted out in Tamil, Who is it? The person turned, and I recognized him as Shiva. For a moment I was confused. As an enlightened person I cannot see visions as normal people do. If I saw Shiva, He must be real. The only way to check this out was to see if His feet touched the ground. In a vision the feet do not touch the ground.

I rushed out, fell at His feet and grasped the left one with my right hand; with the tips of my fingers resting on His sandal and the base of my hand touching the soil. It was real. His feet were touching ground. I looked at His other foot. I could see the grass being crushed under His feet by his footwear.

I looked up. Shiva was smiling at me, obviously amused at what I was doing to check out if He was real. I sprang back to look at Him. I had nothing to say. He continued to smile at me for a few seconds, then turned and walked way. Suddenly He disappeared from my sight.

Five other people glimpsed or felt Shiva that morning. Two Salem disciples had stepped out of their rooms inside the ashram and saw a form moving past them. One of them drew a picture based on what he saw which matched Swami's description. Three Bangalore lady disciples were on their way to the Banyan Tree when they felt someone brushing past them.

Swami's description of Shiva was vivid. In a video in which he talked to ashramites on his experience on the same day Nithyananda said: 'Shiva was very much like what we see in His pictures, except that He did not have a cobra around his neck. He was golden in color, dazzling, with long hair. He had a short garment wrapped around His waist and hip that came above His knees and had a tiger skin wrapped over it. He was wearing wooden sandals. He had many rudraksha necklaces on His neck. He had a hunter's horn tucked in His waistband, carried a small drum on one hand and a trident on the other. His trident was a lot smarter than mine; I noted the design and will get one made similar to that!'

A day after this incident Nithyananda went into samadhi for a whole day. He says that this was the first time that he recovered consciousness without external help from out of a samadhi. When he came out of samadhi that evening he asked the ashramites and others who had come to hear him on Shiva Sutra, just to sit in front of him at the Ananda Nilayam and meditate. Most of them went into deep meditation that lasted for several hours.

The place where Nithyananda saw Shiva in front of his room is now marked with a few stones so that people do not walk over this spot. That is the only spot in an otherwise rocky area where since that day grass has grown. Other than that there is nothing to indicate that Siva walked at the Bidadi ashram. Nithyananda says that the Banyan tree is the abode of Shiva in the form of Banashankara, the consort of Banshankari, who is the guardian mother of the city of Bangalore.

In the early days of Bidadi ashram, even till 2005, Swami had forbidden us to enter the Banyan tree area after dusk. There was no Anadeshwara temple in that area then. There was just the Dakshinamurthy shrine in the open. There were a few occasions when Swami had started with a group in the night saying, 'Let's walk to the banyan tree', had stopped at the guest room block and turned back. Once when I asked him why we were turning back he said, 'He will be walking around there now. I do not want to disturb Him.'

During a Teachers' Training Program when I was responsible for coordination, I stopped by a session where a young lady was conducting an Ananda Spurana Program under the banyan tree in the late evening. The Dukha Harana meditation session was going on with its powerful Shiva Tandava music. After telling the lady to wind up quickly as it was getting dark, I remarked while leaving, 'I can feel Shiva's presence here.' I was at the nearby old Ananda Sabha watching the arti when one of the ashramites came up to me after ten minutes saying that I was needed by Swami. I rushed to the other end of the ashram where Swami's cottage was.

He was sitting outside on the swing and asked, 'Now, what have you done?' as I looked up at him not quite understanding what the question was about, he said, 'that girl said you told her Shiva was present and then she saw Shiva just after you left. She was terrified. Have I not told you that no body should stay in that area after dark?'

I stammered, 'Yes, swami. I had told her to wind up. I wish I had stayed a few minutes more. I too would have seen Shiva.'

For the next ten minutes I was lectured on my ignorance about such matters!

There have been incidents when during arti to Dakshinamurthy in the old days several people had seen Dakshinamurthy smiling and even winking at them! Once when we asked swami about this, he said, 'Yes, these things are real. It depends on your devotion and innocence.'

Innocence is the key. Uncorrupted by the logic of our minds, if we can accept as a child would that the deity is a living being, the deity does become alive for us. Even to hard core intellectual garbage handlers like myself. Some years later I enrolled for a puja acharya course in LA during a Mission Training program. I had never been a great one for rituals but I wanted to master the Guru Puja that was de rigueur for all acharyas. During this training period a Kumbh Mela festival came up and all trainee puja acharyas were given the responsibility to dress up the idols I the LA ashram. My model was Ganesa!

I had seen the way Swami used to decorate and dress the idols. The sheer joy and love that he exuded used to overwhelm us, just watching him making us feel joyful. The attention to detail that eh paid was extraordinary. So, we wanted to make no mistakes. There were two of us working with Ganesa. For the first time in my life I understood the meaning of devotion. Ganesa was no idol as I dressed him. Even securing a pin to hold the folds of the dress was an exercise tremendous affection with the feeling that if the pin slipped it would hurt him. We took a few hours time and again adjusting the clothes and ornaments that we put on him with deep affection and care. After that incident a puja was no longer a ritual. It was a relationship.

VARANASI & DEATH EXPERIENCES

Nithyananda has said that unless one experiences death one can never experience life fully. The shadow of death is so overwhelming and our fear of death is so primal that we do not die once, we die many time fearing that we may die.

In the Mahabharata there are many stories woven around the concept of death. During their stay in the forests, the Pandava Princes reach a lake at the end of a hard day and camp there. One by one the brothers go to the lake to drink water. They are stopped by a voice that claims to be the guardian of the lake. Answer me before you drink, the voice says, or you die. Disregarding the disembodied voice, one by one the princes drink the water and fall down dead. Finally the eldest, Yudhishtra, approaches the lake, having waited for his brothers to return. He finds them all sprawled around the banks of the lake dead. As he picks up his sword to face the enemy, the voice calls out warning him. Answer me first or you will die like your brothers. Yudhishtra agrees to answer the questions.

Of the questions, the most profound is this.

'What is the strangest thing that you experience around you' asks the voice.

Responds Yudhishtra, 'I see people around me dying every day and they see others dying around them every day. Yet, no one believes that he or she is going to ever die. This is the strangest thing I experience.'

All great masters have used death as a teaching aid. A woman unable to bear the death of her young child came to Buddha seeking his intervention in restoring life to the child. Knowing that whatever he said would offer no consolation to her, Buddha agreed to revive the child provided she could get for him a handful of rice from any household that had never experienced death. The distraught woman suddenly gained hope and went from house to house.

The story says that when she couldn't find a single household that had not experienced death, wisdom dawned on her and she became a disciple of Buddha.

This is great story from Mahabharata that Nithyananda often recounts. In his words:

There was a king called Yayati who lived for a hundred years. Then Yama, lord of death, came to claim him. Yayati says, 'No, no, no what is this? I am a king. I have so much to do. I have such a big kingdom and hundred years is too little. Please leave me. I cannot come now. I have not lived this whole life'.

Yama says, 'What? Leave you where? I have never heard this statement, I never even allow people to talk this much. Pack up. This is totally new for me and there is no petition in my case. Straightaway I come and take people, that is all. If you don't come, I'll take you, that's all. Nothing else. In my language I don't understand all these words'.

Yayati says, 'No, no, no please consider, do one favor, do one small favor.' Yayati tries to convince. I think that day Yama was in a good mood. He said, 'All right, you are begging so much but at least someone of your sons should give their life for your sake'.

Yayati calls one of his sons. Son says, 'Yes, yes, I'll give my life I have no problem, let my father live'. Son gives his life to Yayati. Yama extends Yayati's life by another hundred years. Next time when Yama came, again this guy started, 'No, no, no please do something. You said you'll come after hundred years but you came so quickly. I don't think hundred years are over. Something is wrong with your calendar. Why don't you check once more?'

Yama said, 'Nothing is wrong with my calendar. Something is seriously wrong with your mind. Nothing can be done'. Somehow Yayati rolls on the ground, weeps and prays to Yama. It's very rare case. I've never heard Yama giving discount or Yama obliging anybody. Again second time he accepted, 'All right, I'll take another son if he is willing o give up his life and let you live hundred more years. Last extension, but be very clear. You can't ask for extension anymore. Done, nothing more'.

When Yama comes a third time, again this king Yayati wants extension. Yama says, no, this is too much, now nothing can be done. Then Yama gives some teachings to him, beautiful teachings. He says you cannot put the fire out by pouring oil into it. You cannot feel fulfilled by offering sense pleasures to the senses.

You cannot feel that you are ready if you never lived intensely. Living intensely is not about fulfilling your senses, pouring pleasures into your senses, or living as you wanted. This is not living intensely. When you live intensely, automatically you will be liberated. I always tell our ashramites do mistakes with creativity. Do some new, new mistakes. Don't do the same old mistakes. Even to do new mistakes you don't have intelligence.

Therefore, it is not today that people have become afraid of death. From time immemorial this has been the case. Even our mythology is full of tales and metaphors on the fear of death. Simultaneously there have been techniques developed by our inner scientists on overcoming death. The best of these techniques focus on removing the fear by facing the fear squarely. They taught how to experience death to overcome the fear of death

Many masters have used the technique of experiencing death consciously as a tool for enlightenment. The understanding that all that death takes away is the perishable mind body and that the spirit lives on is the deepest spiritual experience one can have. Krishna says in the Gita to Arjuna that the immortal spirit moves from one body to another in the same way as we change one dress for another. The realization that death is a mere passage and not an end by itself allows one to relax in life and enjoy the journey.

All mystical traditions on the planet earth used this technique, including Christianity and Sufism. In many catholic monasteries and nunneries they use this technique. Every day they would lie down inside an open coffin before sleeping, for two hours. They would lie down and meditate that they are dead. In Sufism they dig a pit and lie down in that and meditate. In Buddhism too they use this technique to purify one's karmas. In Vedanta the death meditation is the most used technique in preparation for enlightenment.

Kato Upanishad describes this technique wonderfully*. Everybody before taking sanyas* has to go through this technique. In Buddhism, before being initiated into sanyas, one has to do is sit in the graveyard for three months and watch dead bodies being burnt and visualize that one is also being burnt. If one has that much courage one can go and sit in a graveyard and see dead bodies being burnt. Unfortunately in the west one can't see it, it's all electrical. In India one can see, it is open burning, natural process. They will arrange the wood, place the body on it and burn.

Nithyananda describes the death experience of Ramana Maharishi in his own words:

The great master Ramana Maharishi became enlightened through this technique. With just this single technique of death experience he became enlightened. When he was sixteen, spontaneously this happened to him. Actually he must have been practicing this in the past lives. Otherwise such a big experience cannot happen spontaneously. Spontaneously, you cannot have enlightenment. Even if you have, you must have tried earlier itself. I don't think such an ultimate experience can suddenly happen without any reason. There is no coincidence in the existence. It is purely your intensity.

When he was sixteen Ramana was in Madurai, near his native place in Tamilnadu. His birthplace is called Thiruchuzhi. Suddenly one day he felt that he was going to die. A strong fear of death arose in him. You also feel this fear sometimes when you hear about some near or dear one's death or when you hear some friend has died or when you see an accident or when you come across some news about death. You also have that fear. But we are so well versed or trained to suppress our emotions and control ourselves that we never allow this fear to come out. We are such hypocrites that we don't even know that we are cheating ourselves. Many times we can see the fear rise in us but we are on automatic mechanism to stop it. By now you know how to balance yourself or suppress yourself. You suppress yourself and just forget about it or try to do something. You just turn the attention elsewhere.

Be very clear, all TV, newspaper, doing this, doing that and everything is directly related to your hypocrisy. You just do not want to sit with your self. I've seen many people doing something in the name of social service, just because they can't sit with themselves. They can't sit with themselves so they do something. Be very clear, even if you do social service, going to some temple, going to some social service organization, doing some social service because you are not able to sit with yourself, you will never be able to experience the truth.

Going to a temple or church or doing some social service should be based on the overflowing of your love for others. You feel so much love, you feel there is nothing more to be done for yourself and think, 'I have so much of time, let me do some service to society', then it is beautiful. Then it will lead you to enlightenment. The service itself can lead you to spiritual experience. You feel love overflowing and think, 'God has given me so much, this whole life is so beautiful and let me go to a temple or church and offer my gratitude' then it'll just liberate you. You will become enlightened.

But if you are going to temple or for social service just because you don't feel relaxed within yourself, because you can't sit quietly and because of so much of restlessness, it is of no value. You need to deal with your catharsis in some way and this is the way.

This type of attitude, these kinds of persons, even if they go to temples, they will be sitting there and ranting against everybody. Hey don't do this, don't do that, what are you doing? Don't you know? God wants this and God wants that. They will start representing God. They will start, not even representing, they will start acting like God. These type of persons, even if they go to social service organizations, even if they do some service, they will be only putting their ego in front, they will only be torturing, they will not be serving, they will be torturing others. I've seen people doing so much of nonsense in the name of service.