THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM🔗

NITHYANANDA VOLUME 11

Editor's Note

It is almost three years since the first volume of THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's life story was written. At the time of writing the first volume THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM had said that his story would be told in three volumes. The first was about the period of his growing up in Thiruvannamalai till he left home. This volume was published in 2005. The second was to be about his wandering days, when he traveled around Bharat in parivrajaka, monastic wandering. This book that you have in your hands is the second volume. The third volume would be about the period after THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's enlightenment. It is very likely that the third volume would multiply to thirty or even three hundred!

Very much like the first volume this book too had many missed starts. I accompanied the Master at least on three major trips in the fond hope that he may talk about incidents connected to this period. In a sense this period of his monastic wandering has been the most difficult to document. Before he left home he lived with his family. We could contact friends and family to fill the gaps as they arose. In later volumes after the enlightenment we would again have sources to verify. In any event since 2003 almost all of THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's words have been documented. But this period between 1995 when he left Thiruvannamalai and 2000, the year he realized himself is the period of uncertain history.

Once when we asked THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM about this period he said: Enlightenment is a rebirth process. It was as if my body and mind died at that moment. It is as if all the past memories before my enlightenment had been archived and stored somewhere else. I need to go and search. Sometimes these memories come up voluntarily, some times they don't. What to do?

So, as he often says, what to do, nothing can be done. One just relaxes and waits. That is how this volume was written. One waited to catch those magic moments of past experiences as they were revealed with no advance warning. We are fortunate that someone or another caught these magic moments of camera and tape so that we scribes could do our job.

Why are these moments and his experiences so important?

Why are the Ramayana and Mahabharata so important? They are inspired outpourings of great masters that in turn inspired millions if not billions. No one knows for sure that they happened the way they were written and yet the essence of truth radiates from them. Generations of Hindus have been brought up on these puranas and have tailored their lifestyles to their teachings. They have been the gospels for thousands of years and billions of people not merely in the sub continent but in other parts of Asia as well.

Histories of all great masters have served that purpose. Biographies and autobiographies of great maters such as Ramakrishna, Ramana, Vivekananda, Yogananda and others have molded the lives of many generations that came after them. Millions have aspired to their inspired state and have committed their lives to their ideals. THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM is a master whose life story can transform one's life. The truth is that the book that you hold now has the energy to transform you. Every word that is written in these pages is the truth. It is the truth of consciousness that transforms. The very reading inspires and transforms.

In these pages we have incidents that would make the casual reader wonder how these could have happened. The truth is that they did. The Arunagiri Yogishwara who gave THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM a shawl when he was barely twelve, the Krishna who came alive through the innocence of an old lady, The Shiva who tended him when he was lying ill, Mahavatar Baba who blessed him with his name, Mother Ganga who blessed him with a death experience and the eternal virgin Narmada who carried him across, all of them interacted with THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM exactly as told in these pages. Those who read with trust, faith and devotion are truly blessed, for they are ready for their own transformation.

To those of us who helped our Master's words come alive in these pages this has never been an exercise in writing. It has not been any kind of penance as any tapas implies some hardship. This has been an exercise in Nithya Ananda, deep and eternal blissful meditation. Without such meditation this book would not have been possible.

A traditional preface would have us offer this book to the lotus feet of the Master. This does not make sense to us. When THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM is all around us where do we find his feet? To paraphrase Ramana Maharishi, why limit the concept of THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM to his physical feet? We offer this book to the immeasurable energy that is THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM, seeking His blessing to each and every one of you who has this book in hand.

As the Master says:

Let you experience Nithyananda, let you be one with Nithyananda, let you be Nithyananda.

Om Tat Sat!

NAA

Bridge between two worlds

THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM left his home in Thiruvannamalai when he was seventeen. Tiruvannamalai carries a 2000-year-old tradition of an unbroken lineage of enlightened Masters. In contrast to other spiritual traditions where every Master chooses disciples and develops them, here the sheer intensity of the energy field of Arunachala, its spiritual ambience, creates Masters one after the other! If things like property, name, trademark etc are handed down, there will be dilution and corruption in the whole legacy. Here, spiritual enlightenment is handed over, that's all! Thiruvannamalai is a spiritual incubator par excellence.

We had the great fortune to talk to THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's mother about the incident of his leaving home. She is an extraordinarily simple lady, without guile. Though she now lives in the Bidadi ashram after her husband's death, very few outsiders know her as THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's mother. It was only after several months of close contact with THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM that I came to know she was his mother. THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM says that it was his great fortune to be born to such innocent people who merely accepted whatever happened without objection. THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's mother simply said, 'What was there to say? We knew that one day he would leave home and be a sanyasi. We had to accept that. But it was not easy to bear for a mother. He told me that Existence will take care of us and I believed him.'

In one of his discourses some one asked THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM what his mother's reaction was when he left home. He said:

I can say this: if mother is too possessive of the child, she will not even give birth. What to do then? Even giving birth is a form of letting go. Mother is allowing the baby to leave her body. Only a mother who is ready to allow the next level explosions to happen, who is ready to let go, who is ready to give inspiration or who is ready to allow, can be the real mother.

Understand, if you are that possessive, if you are that much sad to let go your child, then you should not even give birth. You should continuously be feeding the infant through your umbilical cord. The umbilical cord connection should be continuously kept alive. Then carry him continuously. Why you are giving birth? Why are you allowing him to come out? What for?

Physically, only when you allow him to come out after nine months, he can grow. Psychologically, after sometime, only if you allow him to break from you, he can grow. Physical disconnection is 'birth' and psychological disconnection is 'sanyas'.

Understand, in that way I am very fortunate. When I went and told my mother, it was late night. Still I remember, it was late at night around 11 o' clock. I had been to the temple and spent sometime there. Usually that was the time I will come back. When I come back, since I had my own key, I will open the door and come inside. I use to wear wooden sandals. These sandals will create a big noise and wake up the whole house.

The house was stone, granite floor. Those days, Hindu houses are built with granite and teak wood. My grandmother had said that the house was 300 years old. 300 years, for something like 10, 11 generations they had been living in the same house. It was a huge house. Whenever I enter with the wooden sandals, it will make such a big sound 'tatak takak tatak', then they will wake up. She will wake up and prepare my food if I wanted to eat. If I had finished eating in the temple itself, then I will say goodnight. That's all.

On this day she got up and she was about to prepare the food. I called her and said, 'See, I have decided that I am going to take sanyas and go away from home. So, you can give me food tonight. Even though I have eaten you can give me food and I will eat because from tomorrow, I am not going to be here. I am taking sanyas'.

It was very casual announcement to her. Surely she must have been shocked and she did not say anything to me. All of them in the family knew from the beginning that 'talking or shouting at me will not work with me'. In any case from a prediction made when I was very young they knew that one day I would become a sanyasi, a monk.

They all knew that before telling them anything I would always be very clear about what I was saying. So when I said something it meant that I was going to do it, that's all. But tears were rolling from her eyes. I looked at her and asked, 'What do you mean'? Do you mean to say that I should not go? She just shook her head saying 'No. I did not say that. I am crying because I am not able to control my emotions. I cannot believe that you leaving, that's all. But I can't say you cannot go'. She knew one day it will happen. The beauty is that never said 'No'. Not only did she never say that I should not go, she conveyed this to my father without blaming me, like 'He said he is going to leave home'.

My father thought that she had shouted at me or she had created some problem. And that is why I had told her I was leaving. My father was angry and asked her why she had shouted at me? Why she had created a problem? He said. 'You know how he is? Did you say anything to make him angry?' My mother said 'No, I did not shout or create any problem. He just came in and told me this. My father then understood that the situation was not a result of a fight and anything like that. It was just a straight and simple declaration from me. My father came to me, sat down next to me and asked me, 'What Swami, what you are saying? I heard from your mother says you are taking sanyas and leaving home.' It was a funny thing that even in those days everyone in the family used to call me as swami. Even in those days, the title was 'Swami'.

I said 'yes'. I was not worried and I was not emotional, I was not disturbed or anything. It was a simple and casual conversation since I used to have very good relationship with my parents. We had a very deep relationship. I told him directly, 'Yes, I have decided that I want to take sanyas and want to become enlightened'. It was a shock for him. He saw that I was very clear, balanced, cool, and relaxed. Then he made only one statement, 'If you fall sick, then just tell us. We want to take care of you'.

That was the only thing he wanted, nothing else. He let me do what I wanted. He never stood in between. Understand, in any relationship only when they are ready to allow the next phase and only then it is a healthy relationship. I have seen, I have seen thousands of youngsters who are really inspired, bold enough, courageous to take up this path of spiritual seeking, but did not even had the chance to explore because of the parents. What they have done by marrying is that they lived all their lives in bondage. They produced kids and made their kids also just the same buffaloes as what they were. May be I am being harsh but it is a lesson. Whoever listens to this let it be on record. That is why I am talking like this.

It is for the future. Understand, very rarely do a few souls get the inspiration to explore. You see, I am not asking you to train your kids or force your kids to become swamis. No, but if at all they discover, that click happens, then do not stand in between. You will be blessed if you don't stand in between. Get out from all your attachments. Even if he tries, struggles and becomes a failure nothing wrong. I may have been 'a failure' for at least 10 times in my 10 births. That is why this time, I am successful. So it is good. Any exploration, any research, any adventure in the conscious field should be encouraged, allowed and supported. Try at least not to do this mistake in your life.

That was the great thing that happened with my parents. Still I always remember them with so much of respect and gratitude just because that they did not disturb, nothing else. Neither they disturbed me before enlightenment nor did they disturb me after enlightenment. That is the great thing.

Nithyananda traveled by bus from Thiruvannamalai to Chennai. He was supposed to work in Chennai with an uncle, his mother's brother, as a compromise solution to his threat to leave home. The family hoped he would change his mind. THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM had decided to bide for time to leave without a big fuss. THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM worked in Chennai for 22 days. He was an unpaid intern at that office so that his uncle could keep an eye on this lad who had expressed his determination to become a monk. Everyday a car would pick him up in the morning and again drop him back in the evening. This continued till the 22nd day. On that day THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM told his uncle that he would be going to the famous Shiva temple in Mylapore, the Kapaliswarar temple. It was a day of the week when that temple was crowded. THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM already had obtained the minimum essentials that he planned to carry when he cut loose and left. These were the only possessions that a sanyasi was allowed. A two-piece kavi (saffron) clothing, a stick and a water pot. He had in addition two rudraksha malas and a framed photograph of Ramakrishna. He also had a book to learn Hindi.

At the temple THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM changed into his kavi and slipped away. He had to take a bus to the Central Railway Station from where he planned to take a train to Delhi, which was the jump off point to the Himalayas. He had a problem when the bus conductor refused to let him in as he had no money. THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM had decided when he changed into his kavi that he would not touch money again. Somehow he managed to get into the bus when the conductor was not looking and managed to travel to the station. He got into the unreserved compartment in the Delhi bound train and reached Delhi without incident.

THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM is now very proficient in Sanskrit. He had not known how to read or write Sanskrit till he left home. We asked him where and how he learnt this language. THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM said that he knew when he started traveling outside Tamilnadu he would find it very difficult to manage not knowing Hindi. Even to find where he could get drinking water or where the restrooms were, he would need to know Hindi, which has the same Devanagari script as Sanskrit. He had bought in Chennai a book that guaranteed to teach Hindi and Sanskrit using Tamil within thirty days. He finished reading that book in a day or two on the train and learnt how to read the Hindi signs in the railway stations. After this introduction, he picked up the Sankara Bhashyam when he was in a monastery and found no difficulty in comprehending it. Adi Sankara's commentary on the Brahma Sutras of Vyasa, the Sankara Bhashyam, is possibly one of the most complex treatises ever written. How one could understand this in Sanskrit after reading a 'How to do it in 30 days' book is difficult to comprehend to our logical mind. Having a rudimentary knowledge of Sanskrit, I have always been amazed at the fluency with which THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM recites verses from various scriptures from memory.

Once when we were working on the first volume of his biography, THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM had asked us to get a reference from an Upanishad. He was not sure of the name and said it could either be the Mundaka or the Mandokya Upanishad. We found the reference and when he asked for the name I gave him the incorrect name. He corrected me saying that it should have been the other. Impulsively I asked him, 'Swami, how do you know? I know you have so little time to read and even if you had, how would you remember such a small detail?' He looked at me pensively and said, 'You know, these rishis who wrote these scriptures come to me and talk. That is how I know.'

It was such an innocent and casual statement without any drama. As I looked into his eyes, my skin crawled and hairs stood on edge. What is this being I am in front of, I wondered. It was an awe-inspiring moment for the group of about thirty people who were listening to him that day. Our own insignificance in front of this energy being hit us all powerfully.

A few days later he told us, 'You know, when I told you that those rishis come and talk to me I didn't mean that they come physically with their long beards and all that. Their energies come to me and communicate. It may be difficult to understand for you guys.'

THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM says that traveling without a ticket in Bharat had never been a problem outside Tamilnadu. Sanyasis are respected everywhere in Bharat and the railway officials seem to be hospitable to these monks. He used to travel back and forth wherever and whenever his fancy took him and traveled across Bharat several times. However, as soon as he reached the border of Tamilnadu he would head north again. He said that only in Tamilnadu there is so much of negativity concerning spirituality.

I had narrated this incident in the first volume. In one trip a ticket examiner accosted him and demanded to see his ticket. THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM told him, 'What ticket? I am atman, you are atman and this train is atman. Why then need for ticket?' Rendered to us in the broken Bengali by the Master himself, it was hilarious. The examiner not only did not pursue the matter of a ticket but also brought him food for the rest of the trip. THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM says this is what differentiates Bharat from many other countries. In most Western countries a person wandering around homeless with no means of support would be rounded up as a vagrant and treated as a menace to society. In most parts of Bharat people were delighted to look after him and other sanyasis. This he says is the carry over of the Vedic culture that so wonderfully establishes the concept of humanity and lays the very foundation of spirituality.

THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM says that his first call in Delhi was the Hanuman temple just outside the New Delhi Railway Station. He wandered around Delhi for a few days and traveled with a group of pilgrims to Hardwar, the launch pad into the Himalayan Mountains. Over the next five to six years he came back to the Himalayas time and again. Each year over the last few years, as described elsewhere later, THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM takes his followers on the trail that he traversed years earlier during his parivrajaka.

The Himalayan Mountains are not a geographical entity to THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM. They are a living spiritual entity. When we go with him to the Himalayas he tells us just to experience and not to verbalize the experience of being amidst these majestic and gorgeous mountain ranges. As our buses twist and turn through the hairpin bends like Formula 1 cars with one set of wheels quite often projecting a few inches outside the road over nothingness, we learnt to just witness and be one with the overwhelming presence of the mountains.

Over the next several chapters we shall journey with THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM as he continued his journey. He said once that he never believed that he would ever return to the south of Bharat again. In fact he had decided never to come back to Tamilnadu. He said that the he would get enlightened so young never occurred to him. He assumed that he would be quite old by the time he achieved the mission that he set out for and would therefore spent most of his life in the Himalayas. It is our good fortune that things didn't quite work out that way!

Once in a reminiscent mood THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM spoke of his feelings after enlightenment. Someone asked him how much of this journey across the country he did on foot and how he did it. This is what he spoke about.

Actually, I only traveled barefoot. Still you can see not a single scratch on these feet. Perhaps that is why you cannot see a single scratch. People ask me how my feet are so soft and supple. Nature becomes your friend and the earth becomes your protector when you are in touch with her.

You can't imagine this foot has walked several thousand kilometers. Can you see a single scratch? at least I traveled on these feet. I always walked barefoot. Ask my mother, she is here. My elder brother is also here, ask them both. Throughout my life in Arunachala, in my native place, I never used chappals (sandals). I respected the land so much that I never used to wear chappals. In the college I studied in, it was not even college, it was then polytechnic, now it is a college, they insisted I wear shoes. Those days it was a polytechnic, what polytechnic, nothing was taught, complete nonsense.

After they finish, when the students come out, all they know is they can brush their teeth in a different way, that's all. They now know how to use a plastic toothbrush instead of a neem stick. They have a diploma. Other than brushing teeth and a diploma, they will not know anything. It was a waste of time and money. You see what happened to me. I did polytechnic studies. If you study in a polytechnic, you have to only become a monk, a samiyar. If you are interested in becoming samiyar, study in a polytechnic, otherwise do something else. This is good publicity for polytechnic!

Anyhow, when I went to polytechnic, they forced me to wear shoes. What I did was to put the shoes in a plastic shopping bag and carry them till the outskirts of Thiruvannamalai. Only after the bus crossed the town limits, beyond the boundary stone that marked the city limit, I put on the shoes. When I returned by bus, I removed my shoes the moment I knew I was entering the town. I had this strong feeling that every inch of Arunachala and Thiruvannamalai is a shivalinga, that it is god. It is the traditional belief.

It is not only a traditional belief, but because of my first spiritual experience it was a real experience. I had the first experience at the age of ten or twelve. It was such an intense experience that I felt the whole universe as a live, living energy. That experience completely shook me. After that experience, I decided to completely stop wearing footwear. Of course, before that also I never used to wear. After that, the strong decision to never wear the chappal or shoes or anything was confirmed. Even now when I enter Arunachala, I tell these people, my disciples, no shoes.

So long as I stayed in Thiruvannamalai I never wore any footwear. After I left on parivrajaka also, I never used. Actually Ayya bought the first chappals that I used after along time. (Ayya is THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's first disciple). After the ashram started, he bought the first chappals that I used. Still it is there, a blue chappal. Only around twenty-three I wore my first chappals because I was in a city environment. Earlier I wore only in the college because they forced me to. The moment I come out, I will throw it away. Throughout my wandering, I never used shoes. I tell you, if you have any crack in your feet, it will be healed at once in these Himalayas. Not only is it spiritually vibrant, it is filled with herbs and medicines. It is a healing environment. This very land is so energetic. Walk barefoot as much as you can and all you knee pain, head pain and all other pains will also disappear. Wherever you can't, you feel uncomfortable, wear shoes or chappals. Try your best at least here and in the plains to go barefoot. Wherever you can, try your best to walk without chappals.

You see, yesterday I was wearing shoes. Now, I have started wearing because after the enlightenment, body has become too soft. It has become like a bone covered with butter. Even the joints and all the body parts have become soft like butter. That is the reason I am also using warm clothing and shoes and all those things. Now my health is more important because if I fall sick, days of the trip will be disturbed. You guys will lose out. At least for your sake, I can't take the risk. That is the reason now I am using these few things. Otherwise, throughout my wandering and you see in those days, there was a strong will to achieve enlightenment. I had the strong desire to keep the body for enlightenment. So, body was very solid. See, whenever there is a desire, your body will become strong. Any desire releases tremendous energy in the body. Your body will become strong.

After enlightenment, there is no desire. My body has become completely liquid, flexible like fluid. That is why many people ask me; even here I have a question from a person now. People ask me, 'Swamiji, sometimes when I see, you look like a mother, woman. Sometimes, when I see, you look like a lion, man. Sometimes, when I see you, you look like a small boy. What is happening? I have some trouble in my eyes or what?'

Be very clear: you have no trouble in your eyes. Your eyes are perfectly all right. I think your eyes are working much better than others. It is not your problem. Because there is no strong desire or will in the body, it has become fluid. Whatever attitude this body takes is radiated in the face, the body, and everything else. If the attitude of child or innocence is radiating, just the whole body language takes that attitude. If the attitude of mother takes place, the whole body melts in that attitude. If it takes the attitude of the lion, just the whole body melts in that attitude.

After enlightenment, there is no desire. I have no strong desire. There is no strong will. Body has completely melted. Because there is no strong desire, body has become liquid. There is no strong will to hold on. Because of that, body has just become liquid. Body has become completely like butter covered with butter. That is why I am taking care of it a little. Moreover, it has done whatever has to be done. The purpose this body has been achieved. Now, it can be taken care of a little bit, nothing wrong.

One more thing, you guys are all thinking enlightenment is a big freedom. It is not a big freedom. Whatever little freedom you have is also lost. Be very clear; do not have any fantasy about enlightenment. You think after enlightenment, you will have big freedom. It is not like that. You can't even move your hand as you want. Even your hand can be moved only as the divine wants. Nothing can be done by your will. You will completely lose whatever little freedom that you now have. That is what happened to me, what can be done? Whatever the divine thinks, only that can be done.

Actually, when I crossed the Vindhyachal Mountains (dividing north and south Bharat) I never wanted to go back. To tell you honestly I never wanted to go back, never wanted to return to Tamilnadu. It is a land of ignorant people! If you want to see the totality of spiritually ignorant people on the planet earth, go there. During my parivrajaka travel, the moment I saw the Tamil letters on the signboards, I would just jump out of the train and get into the train going in the opposite direction. I would just run away from there.

When I crossed Vindhyachal or Madhya Pradesh, which was the place from where Sage Agastya came down, I promised Vindhya Mountains that I would never cross her again. I decided I would never come back to South Bharat. I thought either that I would do tapas and die or become enlightened. Two things only can happen. Either I would do tapas till I die or I would become enlightened. I thought if I became enlightened, I didn't have to back south and if I didn't become enlightened I would continue to do tapas till I die. Either way I didn't have to go back south. So, I took the oath that I would not cross the mountains again, meaning I would not come back to south.

But, what to do? Of course, I never came back as the same person. It was not the same person who came back. After becoming enlightened, I had no will and I had no questions. Everything disappeared and there was never a decision from my side. What had to happen was simply happening in me and through me. Actually, after enlightenment, when I went to south, I was not even aware of which wais south, north, east, or west. It took me over one year to have even the first word from the being. When I started having the words, when I could speak again, then I saw I was in the south of Bharat already for more than 6-7 months. So, that person who went up north never came back as he same person. Anyhow, I never wanted to come down from these Himalayas. But, when you become enlightened, your freedom is lost. You don't have any will. So, that is the reason constantly I am doing whatever I am doing. It is a divine decision, not mine.

As a link between the first volume of THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's biography and this second volume, we take you through once again a few memorable incidents of his childhood. Apart from providing the connectivity, these incidents provide the backdrop to how THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM is what he is today.

THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's First spiritual experience

When he was about ten years old, THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM was taken to meet Annamalai Swamigal. Annamalai Swamigal was a close devotee of Bhagavan Ramana Maharishi and used to speak to groups of people, at the end of which used to distribute candies. Annamalai Swamigal's message was based mainly on Ramana Maharishi's teachings on self-enquiry or atma vichara. THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM says that he continued to visit Annamalai Swamigal because of the candies!

Once, THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM heard Annamalai Swamigal say in a discourse that we are all beyond the body and mind. He said that there is something within us that is imperishable despite damage to body mind and untouchable by anything that affects body mind. He said that pain affects only the body mind but not the inner self. THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM wondered how this was possible. When I hurt myself, he thought, it pains. How can I then not feel pain? H decided to put Annamalai Swamigal's teaching to test. When he reached home, he cut himself with a large kitchen knife. It was painful, he bled a lot, his mother scolded him and took him to a doctor to be sewn up. A few days later THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM went back to Annamalai Swamigal and told him that what Swamigal taught failed him. He had both physical and emotional pain.

Annamalai Swamigal laughed and told THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM that he had asked him to practise it n himself. However, he admired the courage of this young boy to test something to see if it was true. He told THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM that one day he would certainly realize the truth of what he tested out. He then gave him a technique to try out. He taught him how to follow his thoughts back to the source. THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM says that he played with his technique and what resulted he explained in detail on a THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM Purnima day in 2007.

I had my first spiritual experience at the age of twelve. Let me describe the incident to you. I was sitting on a rock on the Arunachala hill and meditating. It was the sunset hour of the Buddha Purnima day in the month of Vaikasi (Full moon day May-June as per the Tamil calendar when Buddha was born and enlightened). This rock was locally called Pavazha Kundru, the Coral Rock. I was meditating for a long time that day. I was looking into myself to see where thoughts were coming from. I was actually playing with this technique that was taught to me a few years earlier by Annamalai Swamigal. Then suddenly a strange experience occurred.

In the midst of the meditation, I felt something opening up within me, something was getting crushed, some thing else was getting created. It was like a vessel inside getting broken and a door opening, both together at the same time. It was a feeling of creation and destruction at the same time. It was a very pleasurable feeling.

Even with my eyes closed, I could see all around. I did not need to open my eyes to see. Not only could I see with my eyes closed, but I could also see all around me in a 360-degree vision. With equal clarity, I could see the hill in front, the temple behind, the rock below, the stars above, the trees to the left, part of the hill to the right, all these were in my visionary field, without having to open my eyes! Strange!

I realized that I was one with the whole of Existence and everything was I! It was like this tree in front of me became my bone and this roof above became my nerves!

How did this happen? What made me have such a strong experience of samadhi? There are many others who have also done similar meditations of seeing where the thoughts arise from, but why didn't all of them have such experiences? The reason is that I was so inspired by the masters that I started living like them! Because of that, my consciousness was ripe and ready for such an experience.

My inner space was so pure from young age. Spiritual masters were my only heroes; I had no other heroes to emulate. As I walked around the Arunachala hill, at each step I took I would think, 'How would Annamalai Swamigal behave? Let me behave like that.' I used to go around the hill late in the night, as a parikrama. Whenever I felt some fear, I would think, 'How would Annamalai Swamigal respond? He will certainly have no fear, so let me also not have fear then'.

Let me tell you an incident that really happened. Around the time I had my first experience, I was doing circumambulation of the Arunachala hill late one night. It was raining heavily, with lightning and thunder. I felt a fear in me. Immediately I thought, 'How will Annamalai Swamigal be? He won't bother, he will just walk, so let me also walk.' The path around Arunachala goes through the cremation grounds. I was passing through the town's cremation ground. In Bharat, burial and cremation both are done in the same place. Suddenly I saw a dog biting something and eating. When I went nearer, the dog started barking. First thing I thought when the fear came was, 'How will Annamalai Swamigal react. He won't bother.' So, I continued walking. Then the dog got scared and ran away. When I went closer I saw it was a dead body that was not fully buried and it had come above the ground in the heavy rain!

Just imagine, a twelve-year-old boy, on a stormy midnight in heavy rain, seeing a dead body without head, because the head was in the dog's mouth! The fear started as soon as I saw the body, but it did not reach my being completely. The shock and fear stroke did not even happen completely. The awareness was so intense and as the fear started I thought, 'How will Annamalai Swamigal behave now? He will just walk around and go'. So I just walked around the dead body and continued! That's all! I just took a detour, I walked on and didn't even bother to turn back and see. The fear stroke that started or was about to start did not even open up and reach my body. The heat or shivering or shaking was not there in my body.

The whole conscious inner space was intensely ready. That was the reason a small inspiration was able to put me in that experience. That's what I call living enlightenment. When you live enlightened masters' body language, you live enlightenment. Whenever any thought came into my space, whether it was related to food or clothes or anything else, the first thing I would think was, 'How will that master behave? Naturally this reaction will not be in him, let me then forget about it'. If I felt a little lazy to meditate or to walk, I would think how would Annamalai Swamigal do it? He wouldn't put up with laziness, he would get up and meditate, does that, that's all! So I would just get up and sit and meditate.

Annamalai Swamigal became the scale to measure me against anything. These masters became the scale in my inner space constantly. I asked Annamalai Swamigal once, 'Swamiji, I see Arunachaleshwara in my dream, do you also see him in your dream?'

He said, 'No I don't have dreams.'

Immediately I said, 'You don't have dream? Then how can I have dreams?'

No dreams! That night when a dream started happening, I clearly told myself in my dream. 'No! I cannot dream. Annamalai Swamigal doesn't have dreams, how can I have dreams?'

The dream disappeared! Even if I felt cold, I would remember how he would behave. He won't bother, then I will decide not to bother. Over!

There was no further question or argument inside me. The biggest problem for a seeker is this inner dialogue. You feel, 'I know what the master says is right but I am struggling'. If this happens in you, over! You are dead. Nothing can be done and you will be stuck with this one idea for janmas, for many births. This is what we call karana sarira, the causal layer, energy layer of justification. You will never be able to get out of this layer if you are caught in it. Nobody can save you. Do not ever be stuck in that layer. If you are stuck anywhere else, it's okay. There is nothing wrong, but don't get stuck in that layer. That is what I call evil.

Ravana knows very clearly that Sita is his daughter, but he's not able to control himself. Ravana is nothing but a model of schizophrenia, that's why he is shown with ten heads. One side or one part of him is very devoted to Shiva. Another part of him is filled with lust for Sita. Another part is filled with arrogance and violence. He has multiple schizophrenia, that's all! If you say, 'I know what Swamiji says is right, but I can't do it', then you are Ravana. Even if you worship Shiva, Shiva cannot save you! Ravana was a great Shiva bhakta and he built a huge temple for Shiva in Trikonamalai, in Sri Lanka. All that was useless. Integrated devotion is real devotion. Schizophrenic devotion is not devotion. It is Ravana bhakti.

The reason for my first experience was that I never had such thoughts in my inner space. If Annamalai Swamigal did it, I would do it, that's all. For any thought that came up inside, I asked myself: How would Annamalai Swamigal respond? Would he have this thought? No. Then it is not mine either. Over!

Take this as my message today. In any situation just remember, 'How will Swamiji respond, how will He react, how will He face this situation?' Then act in that manner. This is what I call living enlightenment. You don't need anything else, just this is enough.

This is what I call relationship with the master. Relationship with master is not puja or putting flowers at his feet, or worshipping him once in a while. It is being thoroughly impressed by him. Whenever anything comes up, whether it is fear, or greed, or anger, or anything else, just think how the master will respond, and it will simply disappear! A simple understanding is enough. Many times I tell people, strongly being connected with master is enough, there is no need to do anything else. Otherwise you will be Ravana, schizophrenic, sometimes behaving nicely, sometimes rudely, sometimes with lust, sometimes with anger. Integrate, no more being Ravana. Let the whole body and mind imbibe the energy, spirit and inspiration of master. That is the entire message.

Whenever anything comes up, think about how Swamiji will behave. Understand very clearly, if you behave as I behave, you will have what I have! It's a promise from Existence!

This is the essence of my message this Buddha Purnima - live enlightenment. For anything, think how master will be and live like that. By next year, you will be celebrating your anniversary of first experience. My blessings, let you all live enlightenment, and achieve and radiate the eternal bliss, nithya ananda!

The next year in 2008, on the same THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM Purnima Day, THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM continued this theme.

Today is anniversary of my first spiritual experience. You can call it satori or samadhi. Last year on the same day, I explained exactly what happened during the experience. Today I want to share few things about what happened after that experience, the aftermath of first experience.

Aftermath of Master's experiences can be a very powerful technique. If you practice what happened in me after my first experience, you will experience the first experience. Understand: the expression that happened in me because of my first experience, if you start living them, you too will experience the first experience.

Let me narrate the aftermath of my first experience. First: I have become very rich in human qualities. I just sat and scanned exactly what all happened in me after my first experience. First

thing I have to tell is that I have become very rich in my human qualities, love, caring, sharing, compassion, courage and all these truly human qualities. I have become extraordinarily rich in these. Please understand: as long as you remember you are just a human being, you cannot become rich in human qualities. You will always have the poverty in quality and poverty in inner space. Only when you experience some other plane, a different plane, altogether, a different being, if you have disconnected from the human level you experience the state of super consciousness.

At birth and from birth you carry a deep down anger towards your parents. You will have a deep anger towards anybody who gives you a new breakthrough in your world. That is because they take you to a different plane by giving either a physical body or spiritual evolution. Understand: Your parents caused, and in a way they are responsible for your sufferings in this birth, but you should also understand they are responsible for the great things that you enjoy in the human body.

First thing: When you become rich in human qualities, when I became rich in human qualities, I was able to forgive deeply, including my present situation. I understood that when my parents gave birth, they brought me a little bit of suffering, this outer world suffering, but they gave me the possibility. They added so many things to me by giving this body. So I had this deep forgiving experience. In the same way it was with the Master also. See, your Master when he gives you a new consciousness, when he adds knowledge to you, spirituality to you, he takes you to the different plane. Sometimes there will be suffering. There will be that feeling: disconnection. So you start blaming the Master.

Understand: he has taken you to the different plane. He has given you a different space. Remember, he has opened a new possibility. When a new possibility is opened, there will be one or two experiences that you think as suffering. But beyond that, he has opened a new door. First thing: I was able to deeply forgive my parents for giving me the birth. We always carry a deep wound when anybody gives a new thing to us. When the Master teaches a new thing to you, for sometime you enjoy. For a while you cherish. For a while you see the positive things. After a while, you start thinking that you are not able to handle that new space. You are not able to handle that new opening. You are not able to live in that new consciousness. Then suddenly you see, you start developing little bit of hatred, feeling disconnection.

Understand: Master is not responsible for your sufferings and all these experiences. Your parents are not responsible for the life that you lead. N a macro sense you may think that they are responsible. They are not. They only gave you the possibility. It is your choice how you lead your life. In the same manner Master only gave you the possibility. It is your choice. He's a possibility. You already knew that if you take your human body again you might have to go through so many things, sufferings. It is only after all these considerations your spirit decided on your rebirth and on your parents. Your parents are like an instrument, a door. They are not responsible. Same way, Master is a door. He is not responsible.

First thing: I was able to forgive my parents. Actually, the tremendous richness in the human qualities made me start loving everything. There was no suffering. There was no sadness, just a deep joy, deep ecstasy. All the human qualities have become very rich. If I have to say, aftermath of these few experiences, I was able to forgive my parents, I was able to forgive my teachers, I was able to forgive everything. I was able to deeply love everything. Understand: when you are in love, the whole Existence looks so beautiful, so great. You feel everyone is playing one's role. Whatever is happening is wonderful, great, spiritual. I was not able to complain about anybody. I was not able to blame anybody. That was the one first thing, great thing happened in me. I was not able to blame anybody. I was not able to complain anybody. Suddenly you become rich.

Understand: I always get complaints from people. And not only complaints, the people who complain, they constantly poke fun at the people who don't complain. There's a group that does not complain, which is just enjoying life and living happily. And there is a group that continuously complains. The complaining group attacks the other group that does not complain, oh! these guys are innocent, they are ignorant. They don't even realize how foolish they are. They are not even complaining.

Understand: the non-complaining group is a rich, intelligent, qualitative group. It's rich in its human qualities. The non-complaining group, as some people in the complaining group see it and think about it, is exploited. No. Nobody is exploited. When you are in love, when you are in the non-complaining group, suddenly you will see that everything is beautiful and you yearn for it. You yearn to be part of life around you and you want to enjoy it. If that love disappears, that richness the human quality, if it disappears, suddenly you see, everything and everyone else has to be blamed. Everything needs to be abused. You abuse everything. You become life negative.

You start creating negativity about the master, not only the master who you believe in and with whom you live, you start creating negativity about all masters. You start creating negativity about everything. You are not able to digest. You are not able to relate with the truth expressed. You are not able to withstand the drama happening as the Master reveals new openings, new things, and new possibilities. If you are ready to stand up, he helps you. He takes care. If you are unable to stand up, he waits and gives you your space. When people come and tell me that someone has left me, I tell them to give them their space. Give them our love, care, compassion, and if possible spiritual energy, healing energy. Give them their space. Let every human being evolve in one's own way. Let every human being live in one's own way.

I always feel a deep love deep compassion and express a deep healing energy for every living being, for every being. I can say that this is one of the great achievements, this is one of the great qualities that happened in me after the first experience. I was able to forgive anybody, able to forgive anything with tremendous love and tremendous compassion. I have tremendous respect for every individual.

The other day somebody came and asked me, 'Swamiji, after spending two three years with you, why do people leave? How can they leave? Why don't you keep them? Why don't you keep them in the ashram or keep them with us?' I tell them, 'This is the greatness of a living master. He gives you. He never hypnotizes you. He never brainwashes you. He gives you all possibilities. You can leave even after ten years. Doors are open. A ordinary teacher will try to build things, teach things, create systems, and setups, from which you can't escape. A true Master gives you the possibility. All possibilities are open, whether to be in or to be out. Always, all possibilities are open, because the whole relationship is built on love, freedom, openness and compassion.

When you are in love, you see this truth. The whole thing is built in love, freedom, compassion and truth. When the love disappears, suddenly you lose this relationship and everything becomes dark. You wont be able to relate to what is going on around the Master and what is happening around the master.

The first richness that happened in me was the tremendous love, unending love, the love that is expressed towards this whole Existence. I always tell people that when you practice the qualities of enlightened being, enlightened experience will happen in you. I am trying to consciously scan all the other major transformational things that happened in me after the first experience. I developed a deep respect for every individual's freedom. Only when they come inside the ashram, when they want to be guided by me, I interfere. Otherwise, I keep my distance. I tell them, 'no, no, its ok. Wait.'

If they unconsciously do not want to be guided, but consciously try to indicate, 'please guide me', because of the security that results or just to escape from their dilemma, I tell them, 'no. Wait. Let's give it some more time'. See: when people come to me for guidance, they want to escape from their dilemma. They know that a powerful security is available and the high intelligence is guiding them. But sometime, their unconscious doesn't want to be guided. If I make them wait, they feel that they are not guided. If I guide them, again, they feel that their freedom is lost. So when this kind of unconscious resistance happens, I tell them, 'Wait. Slowly, slowly, whatever needs to evolve will evolve.'

When such people leave also I tell them, 'You have full freedom to come or leave. But never abuse what happened or the guidance that you received when you asked for guidance. You should not judge the incidents that happened when you are in deep love with the same mind when that love is not there. Whatever happened, whatever happens when the love is there cannot be judged as the same incidents, same happenings, same truths that were shared and the same experience when the love is no longer there.

I always tell people when people touch my feet that when they are in deep love that becomes a technique. When there is no love they feel, 'Oh, why should we touch his feet?' They feel that they have been exploited. I always tell them, 'You are never exploited. When you touch with deep love, you grow. Something happens in you. It is that joy, that love that makes you touch my feet with love and respect. That experience only makes you do that act.

When you have deep love your actions are different. Your experiences are different. But when you are in depression you judge the same incidents and same actions very differently and you start creating more suffering for yourself. You abuse the Master and others. You blame somebody else as responsible. When the deep quality of love, the richness the human qualities, when they become rich in you, suddenly you see the truth, love, joy, and ecstasy behind the whole thing. I always tell people to live in that excitement, ecstasy, richness, and love. You will not be able to blame anybody. You will not be able to disrespect anybody. You will not be able to abuse the master. Suddenly you will see the whole truth behind whatever happened or happening, or going to happen in your life.

First thing: I have become rich in human qualities. When Annamalai Swamigal taught me, when I was learning from Annamalai Swamigal, when he was teaching to others that life is beyond pain and suffering, I went and tested it on myself… I cut my thigh and I bled and I had suffering. So naturally, I started abusing Annamalai Swamigal. I started blaming Annamalai Swamigal. But when I had my first experience, it was such a joy! I became so rich in human qualities that the need to abuse the Master disappeared in me. I understood that he opened a new possibility for me. It became tremendous love and deep devotion for Annamalai Swamigal.

I always tell people that to find out whether you are going in the right path or in wrong path look for only one quality. If you are in deep love with everything, if you are in a deep joy and ecstasy, if you are in deep gratitude towards the master, towards everything, then suddenly you will experience ecstasy of seeing everything as beautiful, everything as great and feeling connected. You live the joy and ecstasy.

I even felt when I had my first experience, how can I go back and see Annamalai Swamigal? I felt bad because I blamed him. Then with the experience of these human qualities, the rich qualities of compassion and the resulting joy and ecstasy, I was able to connect again and live in ecstasy and share that with everybody.

Please understand my message on this first experience day: To many of you I have given the direction and I have opened a new possibility. Practically, I have given birth to you all. So all of you will have some suffering. Somewhere, consciously or unconsciously, you will be abusing me. You will be disrespecting. You will be suffering. Relax. Be rich in human qualities. Bring richness in human qualities.

The aftermath of my first experience is that whatever may have happened in between love, devotion, the richness brings you back. That love is more than enough to regain trust. Suddenly you will see that you will be able to come to the third stage of again feeling connected. You will come out of this unconscious suffering with ultimate experience of deep devotion and deep ecstasy. You will again feel connected with deep love, with deep respect in the way that I felt connected to Annamalai Swamigal again. In the same way you will feel deeply connected again. You will be able to live and relive the joy and ecstasy, and experience again the feeling of being eternally connected and experiencing that richness in human quality.

All of you at some time or other go through or will go through that second phase of disconnection. Don't bother, don't worry, and don't be disturbed. Create a deep love. Create a deep joy, wherever you are. You may be near my form or away from my form. You may not be around my form. But I'll be around your form. So, experience the third stage. Come to the third stage. Become a rich human being and become rich in human qualities of love, sensitivity, ecstasy, and joy. Become rich in all human qualities. And come back. Experience the third stage.

Experience the ultimate eternal connection with the Master that I experienced with Annamalai Swamigal, which never left me after that. So let you all experience the eternal connection with the master.

So today my message is: become rich in human qualities. My blessing is, again be connected eternally with the Master. Let you all achieve richness in human qualities and feel connected to the Master again. Because in my first experience, this is the same drama that happened. First, I had connection with the master, initiation happened, then there was disconnection, little imbalanced, but I was continuously practicing. I was trying to practice those teachings and words. Then the experience happened. Suddenly it all opened up and strong eternal connection happened. So I bless you all. Let you all practice the teachings. Even if you are not able to catch the Buddha and Sangha, catch the Dhamma. The Dhamma will lead you to such an intense, high experience. Suddenly you will see the greatness of Buddha and the beauty of his Sangha. You will experience all the three. That is what I call the eternal connection.

I had this eternal connection after the first experience with Annamalai Swamigal. So, even if you are away from Buddha, away from Sangha, don't be away from Dhamma. Hold onto the Dhamma and you will see that the teachings suddenly explode in you to create an experience with a deep spiritual truth. That will awaken human qualities in you. That will create a deep richness of human qualities in you. It will awaken the love and will awaken the joy. It will awaken the ecstasy. It will awaken the deep compassion and you will again connect back to the Buddha and Sangha through Dhamma. This is how it happened in me. I felt connected first to Buddha and Dhamma, not to Sangha. Then, connection slowly disappeared from Buddha. But I held on continuously bowing down to the teachings.

Let you all become rich in human qualities. I pray and bless to let you all become rich in human qualities and feel eternally connected to Buddha, Dhamma, and Sangha. Let you all achieve and radiate the eternal bliss, nithyananda.

These two experiences of the first experience at Coral Rock and the after effects were shared by THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM during the 2007 and 2008 celebrations of Buddha Purnima, now called THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM Purnima in honor of THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's own experience.

THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM has said that he started to exhibit rich human qualities of deep love, compassion and forgiveness after this deep spiritual experience he had at the Coral Rock. He called this the living enlightenment experience and asked us to use the process of 'what would the Master do?' as a conscious technique to create the same qualities in us. It is an extraordinarily powerful technique if use it honestly and with commitment.

I remember once walking back to a man lying unconscious on the pavement. I passed him without a second glance unthinkingly as many others around me did that morning. I was hurrying to work and someone lying on the sidewalk was not my problem. Suddenly and overriding my unconsciousness the thought arose: what would the master have done. Strangely I stopped since my legs wouldn't move forward. I could walk further. I walked back and found the person was sleeping off what could have been a binge. Yet, I called for the ambulance and waited till the person was taken care of. Many a time since then doubts have been resolved very quickly just by posing this question, 'What would my master do?'

Many disciples of all Masters go through the stages that THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM relates to his own sadhana days. The first phase is one in which a seeker feels a connection with the Master. But since the Master opens a whole new dimension which the seeker cannot handle, a disconnect follows as the relationship grows. If the seeker is aware in this stage that it is not the fault of the master, and maintains the trust in him irrespective of this disconnect he moves on. He then reaches the third stage where he finally experiences a deep permanent bond.

THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM speaks of the analogy of a baby that initially feels connected with its mother as soon as it is born. But when the baby tries to walk, it repeatedly falls down and cries. It starts to blame the mother for its fall. Gradually when the baby learns how to walk, it re-establishes that connection. Similarly the Master gives a completely new birth to the seeker. During the second phase, when the seeker is not able to handle that space of the new birth, if he falls, he needs to maintain the trust with the master instead of blaming him and gradually the third phase will follow.

In a different context THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM has spoken of the power of ego or identity that can overshadow one's connection with the Master. Our ego, our identity, our attachments and our desires are what bring us suffering. The Master works n the surgery of removing this ego, of destroying our identity. Not only is it painful but it is also many a times so unbearable a separation that we run from the surgery. Even the Master cannot help at this stage. What the Master cannot teach, sufferings have to teach us. We then return. The beauty, the wonder, he miracle is that the Master waits for you. He stands there with his arms open. As far as he is concerned, you had never left.

He has said to his disciples, 'Where will you go? Where can you go? Once you have walked into my arms, once you have entered the gates of my ashram, how can there be a separation? I am with you always even if you are not with me.' When he said this to me I stood rooted, tears flowing, unable to see and ever since have felt away from his presence.

Where can you go, when you are in the arms of Existence!

The sacred saffron cloth

Many people are afraid to fall in tune because once one falls in tune one feels dependent on the master. If the master keeps the person away from him or if he maintains a distance, the suffering starts. Just because of the fear of the suffering of being kept away, people don't fall in love. People do not wish to come close for fear of being distanced. It is strange but this is the truth. People do not understand and appreciate the joy of that present moment when being in tune with the master. They are far more worried about what may happen when that state of attunement stops.

We need to understand that when the master keeps away or seems distant, he is letting the person go through that suffering to allow him to bloom again. A person who is ready to go through that absence and suffering arising from that absence emerges as a new person. He experiences a truth of his own self within.

Ramana Maharishi wrote a very beautiful poem on Arunachala. It's called the Bridal Garland of Letters. It is in the mood of love, madhura bhava. It is difficult to imagine an old man in a loincloth singing in love towards Shiva, the greatest ascetic. Ramana sings as the beloved!

These songs are so beautiful and moving. Someone asks Ramana about their meaning. Ramana says to him that these poems are so personal, they are love poems, and he should not have even read them, let alone ask for meaning.

The disciple then asks, 'Why did you allow them to be printed if no one is to have read them?' Ramana says 'I allowed the publication trusting that only such a person who has become me will read them and understand them. I let you read this book because I trust you have become me and that you are completely in tune with me.'

THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM talks about an incident when he felt he was being kept away. It is a moving incident that can inspire you to great heights.

I believe that you would be able to understand these words by putting yourself in my place, in my shoes, in my space. Please understand that I want you all to know this story, because the story that I am going to tell you can only be understood if you put yourself in my place. This is also a love story. It cannot be told to a person who is an outsider. No, it is too personal.

If somebody comes and asks you about your honeymoon experience what will you tell them? Only if he is a really close friend you will be able to talk, not otherwise. Otherwise you can't talk about your honeymoon experience.

Because it's a solid experience you will see the effect of this truth in you. Even if you have problem with your logic in believing it, don't bother, you will see the trust happens in you. Whenever you listen to the great truths, there will be some effect happening inside you. Usually if you believe only then that effect will happen in you. Now let me tell you, you don't have to bother about believing. Because it is coming from the authentic direct source that has experienced the truth, even if you don't believe, even if you are fighting with your logic to believe, don't bother. That effect will happen in you. That effect will liberate you.

This is a very intimate, I can say, honey sun experience, because unlike honeymoon it never goes away. Many ascetics, sadhus and sanyasis will come and go in my native place Arunachala. Whenever I saw any sadhu my first job was catch hold of him and try to learn something from him while serving him in whatever way I could. Behind the Arunachaleshwara temple there is a

small four- pillared hall and below that was an entrance that seemed to lead into an underground cave like room. One day I saw a sadhu coming out of that entrance. It was not a big entrance, quite small actually. He was a very young sadhu, very graceful with all the great qualities of spiritual illumination.

The moment I saw him I touched his feet and started talking to him. I felt really connected to him and talked to him for a while. I met him again and in a few days became close to him. It became my routine to meet him every day because that was my route to the school.

In Hindu schools, at least in my school, kids were marked present based on seeing the school bag in the classroom. The moment kids enter the school they will leave the school bags in the classroom and go to the prayer hall. The teacher or an attendant will come and check the school bags. If a student's bag was not there the attendant will go to the house and bring that boy to school. There will be two three people employed just for this purpose like attendants and watchmen. If the school bag was not there they knew the child was not there. They will go to that house and bring that child.

To avoid this drama of the watchman going to my house I used to send my bag with one of my classmates. I had an agreement with this fellow. This incident happened around the time of my first spiritual experience, before or after I am not sure. As I left home for school I would first go to his house to hand over the bag to him and his responsibility was to keep that bag in my chair and see that the watchman marks my presence in the school so that he would not go to the house to bring me.

In return I had to do him favors. Those days I had these small, small like miracle powers. From a few of the ascetics with whom I moved around I had picked up some of these small powers, siddhis. I'll materialize and give him some cookies or candies. If he had not done his homework that day I had to make the math teacher fall sick. He would come and tell me, today I have not done my homework, I have not written my records, take care that the math teacher doesn't come to the school. I'll say alright let him have diarrhea and he will have diarrhea and not come to school.

We both had a good understanding and we will do each other favors. One nice thing this guy did was to keep a diary of these happenings with me. We are translating these diaries into English and will publish them. He says in that diary how many times these incidents happened, when I made things happen and when things did not happen. Anyhow this was the deal and everyday morning I will come out and give the schoolbag to him. He will take it and keep it in the seat and attendance will be given in the school, but I will not be in the school. I will be sitting with this sadhu. I will come to this sadhu and talking to him. I felt so deeply felt connected with this sadhu that it became like a closest relationship.

It was such a sweet relationship. It became a very close, sweet relationship, very strong relationship. Everyday I'll throw the schoolbag at this friend's house and come and sit with him. We shall be talking about something, so many different things till it was evening. I shall then tell

him I need to go home, then he will say okay and he will reenter the opening. Again the next day when I came back, he will come out when I called out, oh Swami, and we will sit and talk.

There's a very beautiful Upanishad story.

There was a small bird sitting on a tree and eating bitter fruits and sweet fruits. When it eats the bitter fruits, it spits them out and it feels suffering and pain. When it eats the sweet fruits it feels the joy. This bird sees another bird, a bigger bird of golden hue, sitting just above it on a higher branch in the tree. That bird was neither eating nor spitting, no pain no pleasure, he was just sitting.

Whenever the smaller bird eats the bitter fruits, it will complain, oh life is pain, it is full of suffering. It will then look up and see the bigger golden bird. It thinks, oh God see, that bird is so peaceful, quiet, not having pain like me, let me go to that bird. It will slowly start going towards that golden bird. After a few minutes, the sweet fruits will tempt it again and it will eat the sweet fruits. By the time it starts eating the sweet fruits it will forget about going towards that bird.

The small bird will eat that sweet fruit and say, oh it looks so sweet, so tasty. It will continue to eat one more, another and another till it lands on a bitter fruit. After two or three sweet fruits naturally it will land on bitter fruit. Then immediately he will remember that, 'I have to go back to the golden bird. Life is just pain and I am suffering'. It will then look up and start going near that big golden bird.

The story says like this, like this jumping again and again, going back and forth, the bird wasted something like a few hundred years, few janmas. Finally it tasted a horribly bitter fruit, perhaps cooked by its spouse. It said no, I shall not open my mouth again, enough is enough. In ultimate frustration it spits out the fruit that was in its mouth. It now resolves strongly to go to that big golden bird and to be with that bird itself.

When it went near that bird and touched the bird, suddenly this small bird felt the energy of that big bird engulf him. It felt it was not a separate bird but just a shadow of that big bird. It had always been thinking that it was a separate bird but it was never a separate bird. The moment he realized that it was a shadow it disappeared into the big bird.

I have experienced what the relationship between that small bird and the big bird was and how intense it would have been. I can say that this was the relationship between me and that Swami. It was a very powerful relationship. I wanted to be close to him. Many times I felt sad that the sun was setting and I had to go back home. One day finally I cried to him, 'See, I have to go back every day. I don't want to leave. Why don't you let me stay with you?'

He said, 'Staying with me? Don't you know I am a sanyasi?

I said I would also like to become a sanyasi and he laughed. He said, 'Alright. I will give you sanyas'.

I did not understand sanyas and all those things. All I knew was that he promised that I could stay with him, over. It was such deep relationship and I was ready.

The next day I went all prepared, mentally prepared and ready to stay with him forever. For the first time he asked me to come inside that opening, to his cave like dwelling. He opened the door and called me inside. I went inside and I saw that there was another opening to go out. As we went out I saw a huge banyan tree outside. Under this banyan tree several elderly sanyasis were sitting. I didn't know who they were but the way they greeted this young sanyasi with great respect, I understood that they might be his disciples. He went to a vacant seat that was placed a little higher than the others that obviously was his, and sat down with all the old disciples sitting below.

The body language of the other people clearly indicated that he was their guru. Young guy, young and shining, with a rudraksha mala and kavi and jata, long hair. He straightaway went and sat in his seat, and the moment he sat I fell at his feet and I also sat. Then he said to them that this boy is from our place and he wants sanyas, which is why I brought him here today. Then all the elderly sadhus smiled and welcomed me indicating by their body language how happy they were to receive me and accept me into the family.

A few of them were casually sharing one or two words with me. I saw that one sadhu, an elderly sadhu, was asked to bring a kavi, saffron clothing. The young sanyasi, the guru, gave that kavi to me. It was such a joy, such an ecstasy to receive the kavi. I just took it and fell at his feet. He blessed me and hugged me in an energy darshan. It was a very strong experience in ecstasy.

He then brought me back the same way and we came out of his cave. He said, 'Alright, now I will see you tomorrow'. I said, 'No, I want to be with you. I don't want to go back. That's why I took sanyas.'

He said, 'Okay. Just for a few days you go back home and I will still be there with you. Don't worry about it'.

I did not fully understand but I didn't want to push too much. I thought whatever he says must be right and anyhow I just left it.

I went straight to the house of my acharya Kuppammal who had been my inspiration. If you read the first volume of biography you will see her photograph. I went to the place where she was staying and I told her, 'Amma, a Swami gave me sanyas and gave me this kavi'. It was simple transaction, I told her. She had the shock of her life, what, you got sanyas? She knew the meaning, the depth of it. You got sanyas, who gave you?

She thought that one of these traveling sadhus gave me sanyas. There were many rumors about such sadhus who gave sanyas to young kids and took them away. She thought somebody is trying to do that with me and she asked me to show her that person. I said, 'ok, come let's go and I'll show you', and I took her to the temple.

I took her to that spot in the temple where every day I used to meet that young Swami. I stood there and shouted, 'Swami, Swami' and there was no reply. She asked me, 'Why are you standing here? Who are you calling?' I told her, 'I am calling that Swami because he stays in this cave. Everyday he comes out and talks to me.

Then she said, 'Fool, Who is staying there and where is the cave?' I said 'Everyday the Swami comes out of this entrance. I sit and talk to him. He took me inside his cave and gave me the kavi. Now that I have called him he will come. Wait'. We waited for some more time but nobody came. I shouted again, 'Swami, Swami'. Nothing happened.

Kuppammal started suspecting that I stole the cloth from somewhere. She did not believe that some swami gave me the kavi. She thought I stole that cloth from some shop. She thought I had stolen the cloth and now that I was afraid of being caught, I was fabricating a story. She asked, 'Tell me clearly, from which shop you stole the cloth?'

I said, 'No. I have not stolen anything. Swami gave me this kavi'. Then she asked me, 'Did you give any money to that swami? Or did that Swami want to take you with him?' I said, 'No. I wanted to go with him but he was not willing to take me'. She started questioning me more. I wondered why she did not believe me because usually she was a very loving lady, never disbelieving me or inquiring. But now I saw a totally different face in her.

She was inquiring and was trying to get me to admit that I stole the cloth in a totally agitated manner. I told her no, that swami came from here and gave me the cloth. Then she caught me by my ears, I still I remember, like mothers do when they are upset with their children. She dragged me holding my ears in front of that small opening where I used to see him coming out and asked, 'Why are you lying to me?'

I was shocked to see that there was no opening. For the first time I put my hand on the stone and pushed and saw that it was not an opening or even a door but a stone that was shaped like a door, that was all. It was a big shock to me. There was no cave and no door, which meant no one could have gone in or come out. Please understand, I am saying exactly as it happened. Again I promise this is the truth, nothing but truth. Shock, this shock was too big shock for me. I started crying.

The tears started rolling because now it seemed as if I was telling a lie. Kuppammal did not believe me. She thought that I had stolen this cloth and that I was trying to hide something big. Then I started justifying and crying, 'If I had to hide why would I come and tell you and show you this cloth? Then she said 'Let that Swami come and tell me what you are saying is true.' I once again shouted, 'Swami, Why are you not coming? This old lady is calling me a liar. Please come out and tell her I am not lying.' He did not appear. I understood then that not only he was not coming out then, but he will not appear again.

Kuppammal warned me, 'You have to tell me the truth within twenty-four hours. Don't try to tell me all these stories.' Both of us left that spot. I then came back alone hoping he would come out when I was alone, but nobody came out. Inside me I felt that I should not have told about the Swami to Kuppammal and because I did he was not coming out.

I felt like my intimate relationship with him broke because I brought in a third person. Kuppammal had followed me back and she was standing behind me without my knowledge. She saw that I was honest in my words because I am saying the same thing without even knowing that she was present. She said, 'I now understand you are telling me the truth because you are saying the same thing even though you thought I was not here. Tell me the truth. Who was he? How did he look? What was his name?'

I described the manner in which I met him, how he used to come out every day to talk to me, how he used to open the stone and come out, how graceful and young he was and how majestic in his rudraksha mala and kavi and how he gave me the kavi. She then asked me again, 'What was the name he gave you?'

I said, 'Oh name, when I asked him he said he was Arunagiri Yogiswara, that's all.'

As soon as I mentioned the name, that one word, she fell at my feet. She was my grandmother's age and my inspiration, my acharya, practically guru and she fell at my feet when I told her that it was Arunagiri Yogiswara who I had been meeting.

She started crying, 'Oh God! Arunagiri Yogiswara! He is Shiva himself! This is where he is buried. This is his samadhi under that ground'.

I did not know who Arunagiri Yogiswara was. I did not know that it was his samadhi that was underneath the spot that I thought was the cave from which he used to come out. Kuppammal knew this, she knew who Arunagiri Yogiswara was. It was shock to her and falling down at my feet she cried, 'Oh God! People are waiting to see him, people are waiting to have one glimpse of him and here he comes out to play with you!'

It was at least a six to nine month relationship, based on my calculation. Later on we took out the dates from the school attendance record and from there we picked up how many days I bunked and missed exams. With that we were able to take out the time and dates. It was nine month long relationship.

She started weeping profusely, 'People are just waiting and meditating for him to appear and here he played with you, lived with you'. She touched that kavi cloth and literally rolled on that cloth. We still have that cloth in the ashram. We sent a bit of that cloth for scientific research because that cloth is not made out of any physical material that we know. Usually, cotton or some such material becomes thread and thread becomes cloth. But this cloth has not come out of the physical plane. Understand it has not come out of the physical plane it has come out of a different plane.

One of our close disciples took that piece of cloth and carried out all possible tests, whatever they know. The laboratories said that they didn't know what material this was. We are still trying to do some more research before opening it to public. The cloth is still there at Bidadi.

On one side, Kuppammal was rolling and crying. On the other side it was a very big loss for me. I felt like I lost him just because of my big mouth. I never expected this kind of a turn in such a deep relationship. I was in such a deep suffering. Please understand that I can't narrate the suffering in words. What else can I say except that it was practically like some part of me that was missing, that kind of suffering?

By that time it was very late in the evening and they had started cleaning the temple. I still clearly remember that day because it was 31st December. The temple opens very early morning in the morning. In Bharat also January 1 st is very popular. Huge crowds will come for the darshan very early n the morning. So they will clean the temple in the night itself and keep everything. From the late night the huge crowd will stand in the line queue for darshan.

They started cleaning the place and were driving us all out. When we came out she told me to go and rest and we will talk later on. Anyhow she went to rest but I was not able to rest. A deep suffering, deep pain built up in me. I ran back to the temple. The watchman and the guys who were cleaning were all very close friends because I used to do lot of volunteer service for them. I told them that I too wanted to clean. When they clean the floors someone has to hold the hosepipe. For this they can't get paid workers, as it was not an official job. No skill was needed for that job. So they will get all these kids to volunteer for holding the pipe. Only for cleaning the floor they needed skilled persons, paid labor, not for holding the hosepipe. I went back with this excuse of doing some service by holding the pipe. I got into the temple this way because otherwise late night they will not allow people into the temple. Straightaway I went to the samadhi where I used to have his darshan.

I started weeping profusely, crying, 'I will not tell any one again about you. I did a big mistake by telling her and please come out and don't be angry. I want to see you at least once more. I'll not do this mistake anymore. Please save me. Just come and if I see you once more also, that's enough. I'll know at least that you are not angry with me. You don't have to keep me so close because I know I have done a mistake but at least let me know you are not angry with me'.

It was such an intense pain and suffering. I cried, cried, cried and wept. I can say that my whole being was weeping. At one point tears dry up and there is no emotion even to weep. If there is only suffering or emotion you can weep, even that gets exhausted. Over, everything is over. Nothing more can be done. You see, when you remember that reminiscence of the loving relationship, the joy will come. When you remember that you lost it, the pain will come naturally. Now both were absent.

The pain was over. Only as long as that joy was there the pain too was present. Only if the pain is there the joy will be there, both are interconnected. When the pain is exhausted joy is also exhausted, even the memory is dissolved. Now, the memory suddenly faded. I cried enough and finished.

There was neither the joy of the relationship nor the feeling of that suffering of missing him, just complete blankness. I got up from the place to leave, as it was very late. I thought since I am in the temple let me go to the main shrine and have darshan. The main shrine is a shivalinga, like our Bidadi Anandeshwara. Our Anandeshwara is a replica of that shivalinga in Thiruvannamalai. The samadhi of Arunagiri Yogiswara is directly behind the main shrine. It is believed that the shrine is built on the samadhi.

Kuppammal did not tell me anything in detail. I was also afraid to ask her anything. I was afraid to ask her anything because I was already in the mood of defending myself from her not in the mood of asking her anything. When I told her the name Arunagiri Yogiswara, though she fell at my feet and cried she did not give me any details about him. It is only later on that I came to know that Arunagiri Yogiswara is an incarnation of Shiva and that the temple garba graha (sanctum with the main idol) is built on his jiva samadhi (place where an enlightened master leaves the body) and all those things.

I was in a deep silent mood of contemplation as I slowly walked up to the main shrine, the sanctum sanctorum and stood there. I started praying to Shiva, 'Shiva, I cheated one sadhu, betrayed one sadhu, one swami, please forgive me it was such a wonderful feeling of relationship I miss, please do something'. I was praying intensely. As I opened my eyes I saw Arunagiri Yogiswara sitting in the place of the Shivalinga, inside the garba graha. It was such a clear, understand not feeling, clear experience.

I cried out, 'Swami! Swami! You are here, why didn't you come when I called you at the samadhi? Kuppammal Patti (patti in Tamil means grandmother, an elderly woman) says you do not exist. She wants to see you.' The yogi just sat there and smiled. The priests thought that I had lost my mind. They could not see Arunagiri Yogiswara, who I was talking to. They did not understand who I was talking to or why I was saying what I was saying. They pushed me out of the garba graha. I continued to shout, 'Swami, please come out; please come out!'

I did not understand why the Yogi was not responding now, why he would not come out as he did before. I went home highly disturbed. It was an emotional roller coaster for me that night. At one level, I was at peace that he saw the Yogi in the garba graha smiling at me. I felt one with him and knew that I had not lost him after all. At another level I was confused that he made no response.

Early next morning, I ran to the spot where I used to call him. I sat in front of the jiva samadhi and wept. 'Why are you not coming out? Are you angry with me? If I have made a mistake, please forgive me. I cannot be without you, please come out and meet me, let me see you, please speak to me,' I cried.

Suddenly I saw Arunagiri Yogiswara in front of me but in a very different form. Arunagiri Yogiswara was no longer in flesh and blood, no longer in the physical form that I used to see him earlier. He was in a very different form. His whole form was in shining light, mystical and mysterious. Arunagiri Yogiswara's feet were not touching the ground. He was glowing, almost

transparent. He smiled at me tenderly in compassion and love. He said, 'Dear one, you and I are one. We can never get separated. But the play is over. You will not miss me any longer. You will not be separated. We are one.'

Saying this, he merged into me and disappeared. From that moment, I did not feel the separation and loss from Arunagiri Yogiswara at all. I knew he was me and I was him. This was probably my first moment of realization of who I really was. It was my first spiritual experience, my first moment of enlightenment. From that moment I stopped missing anything. All I missed from then on was only the idea of missing anything at all.

Nithyananda says that this experience with Arunagiri Yogiswara was the most important turning point in his life before enlightenment. Arunagiri Yogiswara was no ordinary sanyasi. He is considered an incarnation of Shiva. It is on his jiva samadhi, the spot where he left his body that The Arunachaleshwara temple is believed to have been built.

Many temples in Bharat are built on the jiva samadhis of enlightened masters. The temple at Palani to Lord Muruga as Dandayuthapani is built on the jiva samadhi of Bogar, a contemporary of Agastya. The temple at Tirupati is also built on the jiva samadhi of an enlightened master. The temple at Mantralaya is on the jiva samadhi of Raghavendra Swami and at Nerur on the jiva samadhi of Sadashiva Brahmananda. Nithyananda says that these jiva samadhis are like nuclear reactors. They are sources of tremendous energy. The reason why these temples are so powerful and boon giving is because of the energy of the great Masters who left their body in these places.

The Happening

There are two questions that have bothered mankind from time immemorial. The first question is whether God exists.

The answer to this question has always been experiential. Or it has been a matter of belief. There is no logical answer to this question. Whatever name we wish to give this entity, whether it is God, Existence, Nature, Universal Energy or whatever else, it is always about a power or an energy that is beyond our ken that we cannot control and whose activities we cannot understand.

There are those of us who believe that there is no power beyond ourselves. Such people believe that they can control everything. They think they can control all events in their lives and through their decisive actions have others do what they wish them to. That this belief is so patently false does not seem to fall within their logic. The fantasies of their own powers are so great that they live in a borderland of delusion.

We are not even in control of whether we would live to take the next breath, let alone control other people and their lives. The more we believe in the power of our mind and body, the illusory power of our mind and body, the more arrogant we become thinking that we can influence others. It is possible that one person in the prime of his life becomes so sharp and powerful of body and mind that he seemingly outperforms every body in strength or intelligence. The feeling of power is illusory because it does not last very long, it is transient. All qualities of body and mind are transient.

Shankara hauntingly said, 'do not be overcome by lust at the sight of a woman's body, realize that this is just flesh that rots'. Harsh words, no doubt, but coming from one of the greatest masters who walked this earth, it reflects an immortal truth. Intelligence, beauty, strength, or any other quality, which we so highly prize in our struggle for material success are all transient. They are related to functions of our body mind and change as our cells regenerate.

God or any other such concept is beyond mind body and mind body logic. Because it is not bound by the physical rules of mind body it is eternal. Because it is not bound by our logic, our mind cannot grasp it. If such an entity can be bound by our rules of logic, it would then be one more creation seemingly controllable by our mind. It will then be another entity that is within the grasp of our ego.

What we call ego is nothing but the identity that we wish to project. Ego is of two parts, internal and external. External ego, which we refer to as ahankara in Sanskrit, is what we wish others to see us as. This is always greater than who we are. It is an exaggerated projection of our capabilities. It is a ploy to make others think well of us and compare us well against others who they meet.

The other part is the internal ego that we refer to as mamakara in Sanskrit. Internal ego is what we think of ourselves within us. It is always projects a picture within us of us being inferior to what we are. People may say, no, this cannot be true, we have a high self esteem. People confuse an offensive or aggressive 'in your face' attitude as one of self esteem. This is not true at all. Arrogance or treating others shabbily to project a superior attitude has nothing to do with self esteem. On the contrary, such behavior is always a mask behind which a timid and frightened ego resides. A person who is truly self confident will feel no need to project that confidence artificially. The confidence will radiate, it will permeate, all by itself.

THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM often asks such people, 'do you think you are God'? Sheepishly they mumble, 'no, I don't'. He then says, 'you underestimate yourself, you indeed are God'. Our internal ego reduces us to a level below where we belong.

The gap between the internal and external egos is what causes all our sufferings. It is that which creates the conflict within us as to which identity we need to project. When there is no gap between these two we are as we are. There is no need to project anything. We are God.

God does exist. God exists within us. Unfortunately, we tend to seek this God elsewhere and when we fail to find evidence we punish ourselves denying our own divine existence.

A small story.

Buddhu Maharaj was well known in his neighborhood as a harmless eccentric. One night his neighbors found him desperately in search of something on the street. After watching him for a while moving from one street lamp to another prodding the ground with his walking stick, they asked, 'Buddhu, what is the matter? What have you lost?'

Buddhu said, 'I seem to have lost my ring that my great grandmother gave me on her deathbed. It is of great emotional value to me. I must find it.'

'Are you sure you lost it here on the street? Were you wearing it earlier today?'

'No', said Buddhu, 'I haven't worn it for years. It is kept in a box in the house. I just remembered today that I have not seen it for a while. So I am searching.'

'But why search here while you kept it in a box in the house?' they asked him.

'Oh, that is simple. There is no light inside the house. I cannot search in the dark, can I?'

We know we have lost something precious. We have no idea how to find it though we may realize that we have it somewhere. So, we search where we can, fruitlessly. The script may be different, but the theme of our lives is mostly the same.

A pure atheist is difficult to find. To be able to deny God one needs proof as well. One can pretend to be a true scientist and say that it was not God who created the universe but the Big Bang. What then created the Big Bang?

THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM likes to tell this story.

A group of scientists challenged God to a competition. They said they can do anything God can and do it better. Whatever God created they duplicated and in many cases better. God then took a pile of sand, blew into it and created a life form. One of the scientists rushed to pick up some sand too.

God said: Stop. Don't use my sand. Go create your own sand first!

THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM says that this universe was not created as science or even mythology claims it was. He says that it always existed and will always exist. Mankind may or may not exist but the universe will continue to exist.

Those who say that do not belief that God exists are unable to disprove his existence. All they can do is to ignore Existence. They see themselves separate from an entity called God and distance themselves so remotely that they can no longer recognize themselves as a part of Existence.

The second question is raised by those who accept the existence of God but are in doubt about how to recognize God. To them it is now a question of whether he can be reduced to a form and not.

To those who have experienced God and have become aware of the divinity within themselves this is a meaningless query. Once you experience the divinity within, everything that surrounds you is divine too. There is no separation and there is no boundary that segregates such an individual from other things that exist, whether animate or inanimate. Everything is permeated with and is created by that same energy that one terms as God.

The Hindu religion is derided by many, including many who are Hindus themselves, for its worship of forms. What is not understood is that what Hindus worship is not the form itself but the energy behind that form, through that form. Hindus do not pray, hey stone, hey wood, hey metal, help me, be good to me. They call out to the energy behind that idol or statue as Krishna or Rama fully identifying that material form with the energy that they see within. Those who are ignorant of this underlying faith fail to see both the form and formless.

Please understand this, if you cannot see God in form, you can never see Him in the formless. One can pretend, one can intellectualize, one can create dogmas and philosophies around the formless, but one cannot experience the formless energy without being able to experience the same energy in the form as well. The forced exclusion of God in form can only arise through conditioning that creates violence within us.

All rituals, in any religion, are associated with form in one manner or another. If we can totally relate with the formless there would be no need for any pilgrimages, looking for God in a particular direction, or following prayer guidelines and so on. If we do accept this ultimate energy as formless we should be able to interact with it at energy level. Almost none of us is capable of this at initial levels. We need crutches to hold on to and we need pillars to lean against till we gain a better understanding of the entity we are relating with.

Calling a religion or a practice pagan merely exposes one's ignorance of the underlying principles of that religion or practice or ritual. Going to a church or any place of worship is as pagan as going to temple with idols, unless the motivation is social and not spiritual. Why a place of worship to congregate upon, why not worship where you are as you are? You don't and you cannot, because you are still not in that state of spiritual evolution and you need the support of a congregation. There is nothing wrong with that at all. What is certainly wrong is in believing that my form of worship is the right one and that of others is wrong.

A Hindu temple extends that support of a social congregation to a much broader framework of other sensory inputs that make it easier for any one to relate with their chosen God. THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM says that In Thiruvannamalai, his birthplace, each day was a festival day at the temple. Each day was a social and spiritual occasion where one automatically came into contact with Existence, instead of once a week as commanded in some cultures.

In Hindu mythology there are references to thirty three million Gods or even three hundred and thirty million Gods. It is possible that this was based on the population in those times and each person chose his own God, or became aware that he was God himself. If modern society can feel fulfilled only with thousands of models of cars or soaps or computers, what is wrong in choosing your own model of God? Our modern culture is material centric and the ancient Hindu civilization was spirituality centric. So, instead of focusing on multiplication of consumer gods, they put their efforts into multiplying spiritual entities. If that is so laughable, how much more laughable is our foolishness in focusing on transient pleasures that are here today and gone tomorrow.

7 layers diagram with you, I and God

In the Nithyananda Spurana Program that THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM has designed and taught, he takes us through the seven energy layers that form our mind body system. At the outermost or the grossest layer of Physical energy, each of us, the 'I', stand separate from all others 'You' and the ultimate energy 'God'. As we go through these layers from the gross to the subtlest we reach the final Nirvanic energy layer where these three entities 'I', 'You' and 'God' merge. There is no longer any differentiation, segregation or separation between you and I at this ultimate layer of divine awareness. At this stage of awareness I see myself as God and I see you as God. There is also no differentiation between form and formless. These words do not matter anymore.

Shankara is considered to be the most powerful proponent of the formless representation. Shankara was the ultimate advaita master who preached the doctrine of non duality where God was not seen as separate from man. Any intellectual who has read or heard the devotional poems that Shankara composed would have serious problems reconciling the philosophy of the advaita master to the heart rending dvaita invocations to Devi, Krishna and other Gods. There is no need to reconcile. At the ultimate level there is no advaita or dvaita, there is no separation between jnana and bhakti. These are merely paths that lead to the same destination.

THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM has said often that until enlightenment one cannot understand the meaning of bhakti or devotion. The form and formless are one and the same.

The incident described in this chapter was recounted by THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM in a Shiva Sutra discourse in the USA. It was also uploaded as a youtube clip. Not many watching THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM describe this experience can fail to be moved by the depth as well as simplicity of the entire experience. Let me recount the experience in Master's own words.

Let me recount a beautiful incident from my own life. This happened when I was 19 or 20. This was the time when I was wandering as a monk, a parivrajaka sanyasi. I walked the length and breadth of Bharat, not once but several times. This incident happened before my enlightenment.

All the five elements are hidden in Divine. When you have the intense vision to look deeply, all the five elements disappear into the Divine. If you see the Divine in the deity, you cannot see the statue. If you see God, you can't see statue. If you see statue, you cannot see God. You can see only any one thing. Only when you see the idol as God, you will lose yourself. Worship through the idol will start happening. Worship through the idol will start happening when you lose yourself into the Deity. Then you know for sure that the Deity is alive.

I have so many wonderful stories. The moment I remember the power of these idols, the power of experiencing idols as God, I remember so many stories. Of course, this story I would have narrated many times, but it's okay, I love to tell this story. It is such a wonderful story.

I am trying to find the right words to narrate the whole incident because it is such an amazing inspiring incident. Sometime there is a traffic jam in my throat when too many words want to come out. So I tell them, 'Relax, relax.'

I was traveling in Gujarat. I always remember that elderly lady and respect her like how I remembered yesterday about Swami Laxman Joo. I can say that this lady surely lived in the same consciousness as the gopikas in Brindavan or the Krishna's anga devatas, Krishna's Divine companions.

I had the great fortune to meet this lady. I used to go from village to village. I was able to easily walk. Morning I will start, and after all I was a healthy young man, what is there? By evening, about the sunset time, I'll decide where to stay. I'll decide to stay in the nearest village. Then after a few days, if I feel like starting, again I will start. Gujarat is a land of God. I was always told that God is just a local telephone call away in Kerala. In Gujarat he is only an intercom connection away. It is not even a local call that you need to pay for. You are always on the intercom, you just need to pick up the receiver, that is all. It is the land of Divine. Still the spirit of Bharat is alive in Gujarat. I always feel as long as Gujarat is alive, Bharat will be alive. I always bless, I remember Gujarat and bless, always.

Understand, feeding sadhus is such a wonderful thing. That is the spirit of Bharat, the land of Hindus. Even if you feed useless guys and amongst them only one is an enlightened sadhu, it is worthy because that sadhu's good feeling will save the whole place. It'll nourish the whole place. As long as Gujarat is alive the Bharat dharma will never die, it will be alive. It will be kept alive.

I can say for sure that not even once in my wandering days in Gujarat I had any little struggle for any need. I never needed to ask anybody to be taken care. That is the greatness of that Bharat culture. Today we had Maheswara puja here when we fed sadhus. That tradition is alive with respect in Gujarat. You see, there are many other places where they may give food, but they may make that person stand in queue and give as if to a beggar. In Gujarat I have never seen this treatment. Unless they give food to the sadhus, they will not eat. They will not give after they eat. If they have eaten they will cook fresh food and give or they will give the material to cook for himself to eat. Sadhus are never treated as beggars. It is such a wonderful place.

It is actually that culture that still keeps many enlightened Masters again and again happening in this country. Because somebody who wants to do research in the inner science cannot afford to take up a regular job, some one needs to take care of him. You need to give him some time, some energy to do the research and go through all the confusions of ups and downs. See, the worst depression and the peak joy, both of them have happened in me at least few thousand times. Only then the mind breaks, mind unclutches and enters into enlightenment. Understand that the peaks and valleys should happen few thousand times in the system. Only then, the system gets bored of the mind, the nagging mind and divorces it. Till then, no, no, no, I think it's okay, I can manage for few days, only today, maybe because I was having headache. My mind is not cooperating with me.

Only when the system sees the peaks and valleys, it just decides, enough, enough, let's drop. So, he cannot afford to take up any regular job in which he needs to follow a regular routine, like getting up in the morning, attending an office, doing the same things again and again and constantly doing something, and again lying down in the same bed, in the same house, living the same life. He cannot afford to do these. The person who lives a routine life will be very normal. Nothing extraordinary can happen to him. Because his whole consciousness is continuously chiseled, continuously cut just like a bonsai tree whose roots are continuously cut, the person who lives in a regular safe routine, person who lives in a routine will never be able to grow roots or wings.

Understand this: it's a very solid statement that I am making. I know it may be hurting you, but I'm telling you the Truth. A very beautiful Upanishad, Narada Parivrajaka, describes the way of the Paramahamsa, or achieving that Ultimate Experience. If you know your routine when you get up from the bed, if you know and if you have a rough idea of your routine till the night, till you come back to the bed, be very clear that your life will be normal. You lead your life in the same way as growing a bonsai, by cutting your roots like bonsai banyan tree. How the bonsai banyan tree's roots are cut continuously and it can never take roots, in the same way, that person can never expand beyond certain limit. Worst depression and the Ultimate joy both should happen in your system again and again at least few thousand times only then you decide that you have had enough of this mind. When you have played enough with this mind, you decide, now let me relax in a conscious state. You decide very clearly. That happens only at that moment when you relax like that.

Gujarat is the place where they feel and understand that sadhus need to be given their time to do the inner research and development. Once they achieve material success they spend on spiritual activities. It is just like a funding the medical researches. Once the success is achieved, who is going to be benefited? The whole world is going to be benefited. The other day, in CNN there was a discussion as to why medicines are costly in USA and cheap in Canada. It was because USA was spending for research and development. So much money is spent in research, so naturally here they have to recover the money. Naturally, after you do research and development and open it it's useful to the whole world. Same way, Gujarat is the place they fund research and development in the spiritual area, but they never take the money back and instead benefit the whole world.

I can say that monasteries are constantly giving food to sadhus in Gujarat. I went through the statistics. I had stayed in a small village. I was going from Gandhinagar to the Somnath. They were constructing the Akshardham temple then. They were constructing or almost completed construction of the first Bhagavan Swaminarayan's Akshardham. I went and had darshan, then walked, wanting to go to Somnath, one of the jyotirlingas. In between I stopped at one village. One elderly lady, she invited me, 'Baba come and stay in my house.' It was a small hut. She had a cow and small patch of land in front of her hut. She'll grow something for her to eat, some greens, and whatever little bit things needed for cooking. She will sell the cow's milk in the market and with that money she'll bring some food for herself and the cow..

She had a small Krishna idol with her. She was a great Krishna devotee and she'll offer the food to Krishna first and then eat. This is simple life. I can say her whole total property value would have been less. Her daily income would have been at best. That was all her life's worth. But she was living a very quiet and contented life. I stayed with her for about a week. I forgot the days because all I knew was sunrise and sunset, no question of watch, no question of calendar. I did not have any needs. I will know the Amavasya and Purnima, new moon and full moon from seeing the moon. It was wonderful life. It's a life to be lived without remembering even the years.

I stayed with her for a week. Every night she will bring the food and keep it in front of the Krishna idol. Then she will start talking to Krishna. I could neither contain my laughter nor I could laugh because I would have hurt her feelings and after all she was giving me food and shelter. I had to be little polite, what to do? But she would sit and she would talk as if she was talking to somebody human. She sat by the side of Krishna quite relaxed and with a small fan she fanned that Krishna deity and she would coax him to eat. She would talk to him about so many things in Gujarati. I don't understand the language so well but I can understand a few words because Gujarati has many Sanskrit words. She would go on talking, maybe for half an hour or one hour. Then she too would eat that food, would give me also food and then lie down on jute bags with a brick as a pillow under the head,

I was planning to go to Somnath, which has a big Shiva temple. It used to be the biggest Shiva temple in Bharat, but was destroyed by invaders who did not believe in Hinduism. This invader king belonged to a different religion that does not believe in idol worship or the worshipping through idols. That guy destroyed the temple. That's the big problem. If you don't believe that's okay, but you have no right to destroy something, which is built by people with so much of love and trust. Anyhow, that king destroyed the temple and now they've rebuilt it. As long as the inspiration and the truth is alive, you can't demolish the truth just by demolishing the temples or architectural things.

These temples are in our hearts. Even if it is demolished physically, next day we will build, my disciples will build. So that destruction can't demolish the truth, it can't destroy the truth. The Somnath temple is still there to see. I was planning to walk to the Somnath temple to have darshan. So I told her that I was leaving.

She started crying. She said, 'No, no baba, please don't go.' Baba means father. Sanyasis or Swamis are addressed as fathers even if they are very young. That respect is a tradition. Actually she was my grandmother's age, but she addressed me as father. Age is not a consideration for respect. The intelligence or the life style you lead is respected and this cloth that the swamis wear is respected. She was telling me, 'Baba don't go, don't think I'll ask you to work. I'll give you food everyday. Why do you want to leave me and go? I feel so happy that Krishna himself has come in your form to my house, so please stay.' I said, 'No, I am a sadhu, I have to continue my journey'. Sadhus are not supposed to stay more than three days or four days in any one place.

Traditionally, till the enlightenment state, sadhus should not stay because the attachment might start growing and their continuous sadhana may stop. They may stop doing their spiritual practices. So till enlightenment happens they cannot settle down in one place. I said, 'No, I'll continue. I have to go and have darshan of Somnath and continue my spiritual journey'. She ran to that Krishna and she started telling the idol, "Oh, please tell him not to go. I'm so happy that he was here. Only you can tell him that not to go. He does not listen to me.'

Then within few seconds, a very funny thing happened. She stopped talking and wiped her tears and said to the idol, 'Oh you are telling me that he has to go. He's a sadhu and he has to go. Okay, okay, if you are telling me that is what he must do, then okay then I will not worry, I will not cry and I will not stop him.' She consoled herself as if Krishna was talking with her.

This was too much. All these days, she was talking to Krishna, okay I could put up with that. She was a devotee and she had deep love for Krishna. Whatever she did was her business. After all she was giving me food, and I had to keep quiet. But now she was dragging me into her story. She first complained to Krishna. Now, she says that is ok if I went away. Krishna talking back to her or her acting as if Krishna was talking back to her was too much.

I was a strong intellectual guy. Usually we sanyasis, especially if we are educated in the philosophies, will have a strong ego. We do not respect the householders, married people. Traditionally the philosophical swamis will never respect the householders. We don't bow down to the married people. So that was the attitude, my attitude, 'She is too emotional, let it be.'

When people come to my energy darshan, if they are just overflowing with the devotional feeling will be shedding tears out of joy and gratitude. The intellectual guys who are standing behind them think, 'Oh, how embarrassing, these guys are too emotional.' These guys, the logical or intellectual guys think that the emotional guys are fools. Only to be open, to have the tendency to trust somebody, only for that you need intelligence. To doubt you don't need intelligence. Any fool can doubt, actually only fools doubt.

To blame anything, anybody and everybody you don't need intelligence. Because from childhood you are taught in your school, college, university, everything teaches you, society teaches you to blame people, to reject. Logic means what? It is just analyzing and rejecting, analyzing and rejecting. For that, you don't need much intelligence. You don't need to be alive.

Only to trust, only to feel connected, to open up, to feel the joy, the devotion, you need to be intelligent. I was in the same attitude as these intellectual fools. 'Ok, good devotee, anyhow she gives food for me, that's all. So, why should I interfere unnecessarily in her life style?'

To tell you honestly, I did not have respect for idol worship or the puja or all this ritualistic worship before enlightenment. There was a period I had that respect when I was very young. That was when I was very innocent till the age of ten. After the age of ten I started studying this Vedanta and all such scriptures.

Having the knowledge of Vedanta without the experience of Vedanta is the worst thing that can happen to human being. What I'm telling you is really true. Dry knowledge of Vedanta without the experience of the Vedanta reality gives you the pseudo feeling that you have everything, that you know everything, and that you are the greatest person in the world. You will not have any respect for anybody. You will disrespect not only traditions, but everything and anybody. You will be such an idiot! You will not know that, that is the problem. If you know you are an idiot, at least you can save your face. You will not know but everybody else will know. That is the worst thing that can happen to human beings.

Anyhow, I was in that mood. I had the knowledge but not the experience. Experience had not happened. But the knowledge was there. So naturally the Vedantic knowledge without the experience adds so much of arrogance and intellect to you. I can say that your whole inner space kind of gets corrupted. I am sorry if you're feeling hurt, but I'm telling you exact truth. I have seen hundreds of monasteries where people sit and study this Vedanta for twenty years. I really feel sorry for them. If they can spend the time in sadhana it will be so much fruitful. Actually half an hour of study and ten hours digesting that study through contemplation or sadhana will be the perfect balance.

That will be the perfect thing. But in some monasteries, studying is very juicy. Understand, you know more and more words. You can play with more and more words and you can show off to others and it brings respect. That's another big problem. Why people respect you don't know, actually they're afraid of listening to you. They say, whatever you say is right please just sit, close your eyes, don't open your mouth, we will do puja to you. We will do whatever you say, we will respect you, worship you, but just do not open your mouth. But this guy thinks he has respect because of his knowledge. What to do?

Having the knowledge without having the experience is the worst state. You will not respect anybody, you will not respect anything, you will be so dry within you and without, inside and outside. In my experience I have discovered that an easy way to find out if someone is a strong Vedanti is that he would have stomach problems. Really. See, logic is like having teeth in the stomach. It will literally eat you. Constantly you will be chewing yourself with these teeth inside your stomach and you will carry constant irritation. Compassion or love is like a lubricating medium in you. Intellect, just intellect is something that is continuously exciting your nerves and creating more and more stress. You will have stomach problems. Expressing your love, even a hug, or just looking at something with love, is like sending with high force a lubricating medium into your nervous system and it just heals.

Even for few seconds look at any one of those deities. We have so many deities in Hinduism. You may feel connected or you may have love for any one deity. Based on your family bringing up or based on some books you may have read, or because some of your prayers got fulfilled you develop belief. You might have prayed to Shiva and your wishes got fulfilled or you might have prayed to Krishna, they got fulfilled or you might have prayed to Ganapati and got your desires fulfilled or you might have, from a very young age, you might have heard about Vishnu more and you may be feeling connected. Any one deity, just sit there for a few minutes, look at that deity with very deep love and you will see your whole system will be lubricated. It's as if amruta, divine nectar, is spreading through your whole system. Sit and read some dry books, strong intellectual books, it's like as if your nerves are being twisted, turned or churned, and stress getting created inside your nerves.

I had sharp intellect and logic, never had respect for devotion. From the age of ten till enlightenment I did not have respect for all these things where heart needs to be used, because all my energy and time was spent in the intellectual exercises. The knowledge quest did not give so much respect for the need to developing the heart.

Anyhow, I heard her talking to Krishna about me going, then her version of Krishna saying that she should let me go. She was saying, 'Oh, it's okay, oh you're telling me that he should go, I should be consoling myself, alright, alright.' That was little too much. I went near her and talked to her in my broken Hindi and Sanskrit. Then I used to use more words. Now I've forgotten many of the Hindi words as I have not used them for long. I told her, 'Mataji, it is ok if you are praying to Krishna, but you are now talking as if He is talking back to you. It's all illusion. You should come out of it.'

That is the way sadhus behave because traditionally sadhus are respected more even if we are young and addressed as Baba. All grihastas, married people, are considered one step lower. They are not respected as much in the Vedantic tradition. I had that same attitude that I'm a sadhu and that I can guide her.

Not only she was talking to Krishna, she herself was providing the answer, 'Oh Krishna, you are saying he should go because he is a sadhu and he should not stay with me. Alright if you say it is ok.' She is talking for herself and talking for Krishna as well. She is talking as if she is listening to the reply from Krishna.

Now I said 'It is too much, this is too much.' I went near her and said, 'Hey, what are you doing? Do you think that he is talking to you?' I told her, 'Ma, what you experience is all an illusion, you should come out of it. You should eat healthy food and stay healthy to come out of all these.'

She was so innocent, she said, "No, No, Baba, I'm not lying, don't you see He's sitting there and talking to me?" She just put her hand out and held my hand.

I promise I saw Krishna there. I can tell you that He was sitting there just as a simple child. . With what intensity you see me now, I promise at least with deeper intensity than that I saw Krishna there. He was there! Just as a small baby as He was described in Bhagavatam, with a small flute in the hand and putting His hand on his face very innocently, with a peacock feather on his unclean hair, with a dirty mouth, all that food was there on the mouth and unkempt and just that that small little baby, He was there!

The shock was from the very root center. Understand, the shock was from the very muladhara chakra, from the root my Being was shaken. See, even if I had the smallest doubt that she was a saintly lady I wouldn't have gone and told her that she should come out of all this illusion and that she should stop doing all this foolishness, and that she should be very healthy. I would have never told her that. She was such a simple, unassuming person, with no external expressions of any saintly or divine expression in her. She was a simple lady, a village lady, maybe seventy or eighty years old. Just by touching me, she gave me initiation.

Please understand that this was initiation. This was not just that she was able to transmit that experience into my system as her experience. It is not that when she held her hand I was convinced that Krishna was there, No! I saw Him! Clearly He was there. The shock was so much that I just fell at her feet. I can remember very clearly my falling at the feet of Kuppammal, my first inspiration and teacher in Thiruvannamalai. Her spiritual name was Swamini Mata Vibhudhananda Puri Devi. With that same reverence and respect that I did earlier with Kuppammal, I fell at this old lady's feet. I just fell at her feet and said, "Never ever call me as Baba, you are my Mata." Because as long as she was holding my hand, Krishna was there, I saw! The moment she took her hand away, the vision disappeared, and I was again same old intellectual.

It was a very deep strong experience. After that experience, I never ever had any doubt or disrespect for idol worship. When I go to somebody's house I will first go to the puja room and do the namaskar. Sometime my own photo also will be there, even then I will not bother. First thing I will do is to show the camphor arti and do namaskar. You do not know in whose house who is staying, in whose house who is residing, you do not know, never take deities for granted. We take deities for granted because they are available for sale. Never ever take deities for granted.

When I fell at her feet she was not able to understand. She said, 'Baba, what are you doing?' Actually she stopped me falling at her feet and she was so respectful. Afterwards I had a chat with her before leaving. She was so innocent, she was thinking that if she is living with Krishna, such a small person like her interacting and having darshan of Divine and living with Krishna, she was thinking that then all sadhus would have had such vision and living a Divine life.

I said to her that it showed her innocence. I knew how many people were meditating for years to have that glimpse of the Lord. And here was this simple lady living with Him from morning till night. She would lock that small hut and go to sell the milk. There was nothing inside the hut to steal, even if some thief had come in he would have left something inside out of love and compassion and go back. There was nothing except two or three bricks for her head and two or three jute bags as mats for lying down. Still she will lock that room carefully and go out. I asked her, 'Why are you locking the hut?' She said, 'What if some dog comes and hurts Krishna, what will I do? What if Krishna slowly crawls out and gets hurt on the road, what will I do?' She had such a deep connection. I could see in her eyes how she saw Krishna, how she looked at Krishna, and the very beautiful vision that she beheld.

Let me be very clear, I understood the power of opening up, the power of trusting from that one incident. That taught me how the power of opening can transform the being. Nothing else can transform you. No learning, no teaching can help as simple trust can.

When the last moments of life come to you, your grammar, your knowledge and your intellect can't do anything. All these plays of the mind won't help. Open yourself, open yourself to Existence. I understood for the first time that knowledge is useless. I had great pride that just by studying, just by reading and having all this knowledge I can achieve something. No, no. I had my initiation through an old lady, a poor old lady. Her whole wealth was not more than one thousand dollars. Her house, cow, clothes, everything if you put together and sell, it would not have fetched more than one thousand dollars. That was her whole worth and that was her property, life and everything.

But the quality of life she was living is something that I can't explain. She was living with God. Understand, she was living with God every moment. I was shocked. I just fell at her feet and did complete namaskar. She was frightened, she never expected a Sadhu touching her feet. I said, 'You are my guru, you are my master, because not only I have not achieved the spiritual truths which you have achieved, not only have you achieved the all this but you are also able to transmit it to somebody just by a touch'. Just by one touch she was able to give that experience to me. She became a big inspiration source for me.

Anyhow, after few days I left that village and continued my wandering. After enlightenment, I tried my best to trace her or at least get her photograph. She did not have any photograph till her death. She passed away but the small hut was there still. We tried to get that hut and make a temple in memory of her. Then we came to know she had already had donated that small property to a nearby temple. She did not even leave that for her son or daughter or anybody. She died saying that, 'Let this be given to the nearby temple.' It was a small temple, Krishna or some God's temple. So nothing of her was left except that small Krishna deity that she worshipped. That statue is there in the temple.

I cannot imagine how human beings can live on the planet earth just like Gods, with Gods. When I saw her I understood the meaning of the words 'Living with God'. Her whole property, her outer world wealth was one thousand dollars. Sometime people spend that in one day, they spend in one night on one dinner, or if they throw a party, birthday party over. If you throw birthday party for only a thousand dollars I don't think people will come. You may do the last supper. Nothing more than that, just bread and wine, nothing can be done with thousand dollars.

I never miss a chance to tell this story. Unfortunately though I tried my best, I was never able to get her photograph. After enlightenment, after the organization was created, I personally sent people and tried to trace her. I wanted to get her photograph and put in all our temples as the ideal of idol worship, a person who lived with God through the deity worship. I wanted all our Temples to have her photograph so that people will remember how an innocent village lady lived such a divine life of living with God. But unfortunately, we were not able to get her photo because in Hindu villages photography and all that was unknown. It was not even heard of, at least in 10 years ago. Anyhow, at least we can remember her and offer our respects.

Time and again THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM has said that it is not necessary for any one to be initiated by an enlightened master to be enlightened oneself. He has said that even if the master is unenlightened, even if what you treat as your inspiration is an idol, a mere piece of metal or stone or wood to an intellectual, you can be enlightened. It is your trust that leads to awareness and enlightenment not the energy of the master.

Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, arguably one of the greatest enlightened masters of recent times, was inspired by a statue of Mother Kali. To him the statue was a living being. There are many recorded incidents to illustrate the trust that Ramakrishna had in that statue of Mother Kali at Dakshineshwar and how he always treated her as a living entity.

THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM talks about an incident related to Ramakrishna's deep devotion to Mother Kali in the form of this marble statue.

It is traditional practice in Bengal to offer conch shell bangles to idols, especially Mother Kali. These bangles were then inserted on to the hands of the idol by the priests or in some temples by the devotees themselves. In many of these statues Mother Kali is depicted with four hands. Usually two of these hands are in the benediction and boon giving postures, one hand raised up in blessing and another down showering boons. The third hand usually holds a sword, but this sword can be removed. The fourth hand holds the severed head of a demon, metaphorically representing ego. The hand is usually an integral part of the hand and cannot be taken off.

So, when the bangles are inserted they can only inserted in three of the four hands. If they were to be placed on the fourth the bangles would have to be broken and rejoined.

During the period when Ramakrishna was officiating as an assistant priest at the temple a devotee brought conch bangles as offering and requested Ramakrishna to place them on the idol. When Ramakrishna came out of the garba graha, the location of the idol, she found that bangles had been inserted in all four hands. Shocked, she asked Ramakrishna if he had broken the bangle to put on the hand carrying the head.

Ramakrishna said, 'No, it is not broken.'

The lady insisted, 'How can it be? How did you place it?'

Ramakrishna said innocently, 'I asked Mother to put that demon head down. She did and I inserted the bangle on to her hand. I then asked her to pick it up and she did.'

This incident is recorded as it happened with in the last 150 years. THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM says when he visited Dakshineshwar and was told this he too did not believe this at first. He was allowed by the priests to go into the garba graha to inspect the idol. He said that he found no evidence that either the bangle or the hand holding the head had been broken, though the bangle far smaller in size than the demon head was very securely on Mother Kali's fourth hand!

Many other religions have reported such incidents. Blood or tears flowing out of idols of Jesus or Mary have been reported several times by hundreds of people. These cannot be stories or figments of people's imagination. Nithyananda says that these are genuine incidents that happen triggered by the devotion of individuals or groups of individuals when these seemingly inanimate objects come to life.

Shankar Maharaj

The river Ganga is to the Hindu what the river Nile was to ancient Egyptians. Ganga Mai is still the mother to millions of Indians, life- giving, sustaining them through life and bearing them in death.

The mystique of Ganga to a Hindu is difficult for people of other cultures to understand. Wherever one is from in India, North or South, East or West, Ganga jal, water from river Ganges, is the ultimate symbol of purity and sanctity. It is this water, at least water termed as Ganga jal, which is offered to the dying to see them safely through their uncertain and unknown path to the beyond.

Ganga is not merely a river to the Hindu. She is life, she is energy, and she is the ultimate purifier. Hindus believe that anyone who dies near Ganga and is cremated on her banks, and has one's ashes dissolved in her waters, is guaranteed liberation from the cycle of life and death, which is called samsara.

Mother Ganga begins her descent at Gangotri, at about 11,000 feet height. Her origin as can be seen in the outer world is from a cave in Gomukh, another 2000 feet higher. Ganga gets her name at Uttarkashi which is further blow towards the plains. She turns around here as well as at Varanasi later and flows northwards for a while. Hardwar is where Ganga lands in the plains. This entire region from the point where Ganga rises to the point where she lands in the plains and even beyond till she meets the Ocean is a fertile birth place for hundreds of puranic tales associated with Ganga and Shiva.

Geologically, the Himalayan mountain range that covers 2400 kilometers is considered to be one of the youngest mountain ranges on Earth, resulting by the collision of the tectonic plates of the Indian sub continent with the larger land mass of Eurasia further north. Mythologically, the Himalayas are considered to be the abode of Gods by the Vedic religions. Its name means the Temple of Snow. It is here that Hindus believe that Shiva lives in Mount Kailash. Thousands still trek to Mount Kailash and Lake Mansarovar in pilgrimage every year despite its ownership by China and the inhospitable climate and terrain.

Spiritually the Himalayan Mountains have been home to millions of seekers over thousands of years. From personal experience one can say that one is transformed in the presence of these glorious mountains. Nithyananda takes a group of devotees every year to the places that he visited during his parivrajaka, the wandering days. He never wanted to return to the plains he says, never thought he would. Existence decided otherwise,

In one of his trips to the Himalayas, in a beautiful setting in Uttarkashi on a crisp and clear morning as we sat facing the mountains looking at the perennially snow clad Himalayas where the Gods reign, Master spoke to us about how Ganga descended from Shiva and came to Earth.

'Ganga is a river from the higher world. She resides as the primal water energy in the kamandalu, water pot, of Brahma. She is gnana, wisdom. She is the energy of Existence. She is a form of Shakti, Siva's consort. She has got many jatas, many streams of hair flowing down, Mandaakini, Bhaagirathi, Alaknanda. All of them unite with one another in junctions called prayags.

There are five junctions, pancha prayags, Karna prayag, Nanda prayag, Vishnu prayag, Durga prayag, and Deva prayag. In five places, five streams join and all of them land in Hardwar,

which is called Brahmakunda. That's the spot where all these masters sat and energized the waters of Ganga.

Brahma holds 4 objects: kamandalu, water energy in which the child of creation floats; palm leaves representing the Vedas and its male energy or Vidya, knowledge; japamala, garland of prayer beads representing vibration of creation and space and hamsa or swan representing continuous awareness.

King Sagara, of the noble Ikshvaku lineage (an ancestor of Rama, hero of the great Indian epic Ramayana and Vishnu's seventh incarnation), conducted the aswamedha yaga, the great horse ritual, to reinforce his position as the Emperor of the World. Legend says that a royal horse was allowed to roam free and all the land that it traversed would automatically come under the control of the person performing the ritual. If anyone dared to stop the horse in its travels, a war would result to decide who the stronger ruler was. At the end of its travels the horse was worshipped in a fire ritual, called aswamedha yaga.

Before going further into the legend, you must understand who the Devas are. They are minor deities, the good guys, literally bright beings, who occupy the upper celestial world, the deva loka, as different from Asuras, evil doers who occupy the nether world. Sometimes these guys seem to get mixed up in what they should do; devas do naughty things and get cursed by Sages, and some asura kings have been great sages themselves.

The saga continues. In the case of King Sagara's horse, Indra, Lord of the Deva stole the horse to impede the King's sacrifice. However not having the guts to fight Sagara he left the horse in the nether world, near the ashram of the great Sage Kapila.

Sagara's sixty thousand sons went looking for the horse, spoiling for a fight. Finding it near Kapila, they assumed him to be the thief and rushed at him with drawn weapons. Kapila with one cold look reduced all sixty thousand to ashes. Sagara's grandson Amshuman was dispatched to locate the lost horse and his missing uncles. Amshuman found the horse with the rishi, the sage, along with a pile of ashes nearby. Amshuman prayed to Kapila recognizing him as an enlightened Master. Kapila was pleased and released the horse to him, and explained how his uncles turned into a pile of ashes.

Amshuman pleaded with Kapila to restore life to his uncles. Kapila advised Amshuman to bring the holy waters of the divine river Ganga from the heavens, to purify and redeem the souls of his uncles, now reduced to ashes due to their ego and ignorance. Despite their best efforts neither Amshuman nor his son Dilipa could persuade Ganga into descending to Earth. Amshuman's grandson Bhagiratha took it as his life's mission to redeem the souls of his ancestors and prayed hard and long to Ganga to descend.

Bhagiratha went deep into meditation, and after a long time, Brahma appeared before him. Brahma agreed to release Ganga to the earth to cleanse Bhagiratha's forefathers. However, Brahma wanted Bhagiratha to ensure that Mother Earth would be able to sustain the force of Ganga's landing upon Earth. Bhagiratha went into meditation again and this time Shiva

appeared in front of him. Bhagiratha pleaded with him to protect Mother Earth from the force of Ganga's landing. Shiva agreed. Bhagiratha's went back to meditating upon Brahma.

This time around Brahma told Bhagiratha that the Devas, who had thus long benefited from the divine waters of Ganga as their life source, were not pleased that she is going away, and they needed to be pacified. Bhagiratha promised to provide facilities for the devas to bathe daily in the Ganga. He now prayed to Himavan, King of the mountains, requesting him to be the host to Ganga as she flows into Earth and to provide space for the devas. Himavan was not pleased: 'Ganga, as a consort of Shiva, is my daughter Parvati's competitor. Parvati is Siva's wife and Ganga is Siva's lover. How can I support Ganga?' Bhagiratha prayed to Parvati herself, mother of all beings, to resolve this dilemma.

Parvati said: 'How can Ganga be my competitor? I am She and She is I. Every woman has two aspects; the mother and the beloved. Once a woman realizes both these aspects she is fulfilled. I am the Mother, and Ganga is the Beloved. We are two energies of the same Being. When a man is enlightened he becomes man and woman both in one form, an ardhanariswara. When a woman becomes enlightened, she becomes Mother and Beloved, both in one form. That's why all Gods appear with two wives, not because they are polygamous, but the two forms merge into the energy of one. We complement each other, not compete with each other.'

When you are very deeply in love with your beloved, you would see her as your Mother. Vatsayana, the great sage who wrote Kamasutra, the manual of love, narrated it first to his mother, when he returned home as a young enlightened brahmachari. She refused to believe that he was indeed enlightened, so he asked her to ask him any question on any topic. She then said 'tell me about love of which you know nothing being a celibate.' What he narrated to her as his Mother and Beloved was the treatise for the householder is the timeless classic called Kamasutra.

During Hindu marriages the couple takes seven vows called saptapati. One of the saptapati mantras says: in the eleventh year may I become your child, may you be my mother. The beloved becomes the mother over a period of time. There is no difference between them as they are two aspects of the same female energy.

Himavan was satisfied with his daughter's response and agreed to hold Ganga as she landed upon him on Earth. He allowed Bhagiratha to build seven cities upon the Himalayan mountains to host the devas, so that they could always bathe in Ganga. Bhagiratha now prayed to Kalabhairava, controller of Time, who wanted Ganga to take a pradakshina, a turn about at Varanasi. Having made all arrangements, Bhagiratha now prayed to Brahma to release Ganga. Brahma told him that he had not appeased Vishnu, the third member of the Holy Trinity yet. So Bhagiratha prayed to Vishnu.

Vishnu was pleased and promised to release Ganga from his feet. Whoever has reached Vishnumaya, the Universal Consciousness or Enlightenment, whatever water flows out from under their feet, is Ganga, the divine water energy. This is the truth behind pada puja (worship of feet) that is performed for enlightened Masters.

Bhagiratha now prayed to Ganga, requesting her to descend. She came down with great force upon Shiva's hair. Shiva held her in his matted locks and held her captive. Desperate, Bhagiratha surrendered to Shiva, praying to him for help. Shiva relented and released Ganga by moving one hair of his locks. Ganga stormed into Mother Earth, upon the Himalayan mountains and flowed into the ocean filling Varuna, God of the Seas, who was her son. On her way, she cleansed the ashes of Bhagiratha's forefathers releasing them from their karmas.

Ganga had one more condition before she descended. She had said that the sins of all humans washed onto her should be cleansed so that she always remained pure. Bhagiratha obtained the help of the Tirtharupas, enlightened sages, to keep Ganga pure from the sins washed into her. These enlightened Masters energized Ganga simultaneously at three locations: Gangotri, Hardwar, and Ganga Sagar, so that she forever remained pure and energized. These rishis decided that Ganga was the mechanism to hold this energy, so three big groups of rishis sat and meditated in these three places. They left the body at the same moment and they entered into the river like lightning with the tremendous force of the cosmic energy that they brought down to Planet Earth to energize Ganga. That is the reason why even today scientists are astonished by how Ganga's water is never contaminated.

Ganga purifies all. When enlightened masters enter Ganga they purify Ganga.

In honor of Bhagiratha's efforts, Ganga is called Bhagirathi, daughter of Bhagiratha, and she continues to cleanse all who come in contact with her. Bhagiratha's Herculean effort to bring Ganga to Earth is a metaphorical story of one man's effort towards enlightenment. Bhagiratha's effort is like the struggle that each one of us will need to face in working towards our enlightenment.

Bhagiratha was tortured by his samskaras. In the story of Ganga, these samskara are the sins of Bhagiratha's elders. Bhagiratha meditated upon Brahma. When Brahma finally appeared in front of Bhagiratha with his 4 heads, this experience signified the first spiritual awakening of Bhagiratha. He experienced a satori and was able to see all around him; he had 360-degree vision (this is how the enlightenment experience is often described).

As we move towards the path of enlightenment through meditation we too experience the first glimpse, the satori, in a similar fashion.

Brahma wanted to know how Planet Earth would withstand the force of Ganga's landing. This is the question of how Bhagiratha's body would withstand the energy flow of enlightenment when it happened. Brahma wanted Bhagiratha to be prepared with all his energy centres awakened to absorb the energy input at the time of enlightenment. Bhagiratha prayed to his Guru, Shiva, to help him awaken his chakras and give him the ability to experience enlightenment.

Likewise we all need the help and grace of the Guru to be enlightened and to withstand the experience of enlightenment. This requires complete surrender to the Guru.

Energy, in the form of Ganga, landed on Bhagiratha's Ananda Gandha, (the gateway to cosmic energy) which represents the Himalayan Mountains. Meanwhile, the devas complained to Brahma that they could not survive if they could not bathe in Ganga everyday in their heavenly abode. Bhagiratha built seven heavenly abodes, seven cities, to accommodate the devas so that they could live and bathe in comfort in the Ganga on Planet Earth. These seven deva loka, the heavenly abodes, are our seven chakras, where the devas, the cosmic energy providers reside.

Finally with all this done and taken care of, Ganga landed and dissolved the sins of Bhagiratha's forefathers, his samskaras. Likewise with enlightenment through the Grace of the Guru, upon our unconditional surrender to him, our samskaras dissolve. We are liberated and we get enlightened.

The process of enlightenment frightens us. We cannot dip one toe into this experience and hope to get used to it. We have to jump in without thinking.

Ramakrishna once asked Vivekananda: 'you ask for amrita, nectar. It is like the ocean. How will you drink it?'

Vivekananda: 'like a fly sipping it.'

Ramakrishna: 'you fool, why don't you fall into it?'

Vivekananda: 'I'm afraid I shall drown and die.'

Ramakrishna: 'you fool; you will never die when you fall into amrita!'

Like the perceived conflict between the mother and the beloved, we have other conflicts in life; between life and death; between material and spiritual life. They are like a mountain range separated externally, with no separation below. You need to get a depth of understanding to see that there is no contradiction.

When you are superficial, you see branches in a tree and leaves in a branch. When viewed totally all leaves are the same, all branches are the same, and all trees are the same. There is neither Dvaita (duality) nor advaita (singularity). It's IS-ness. Dvaita advaita vivarjita advaita. IS only IS; all other things can be 'was' or 'will'.

One side of the bridge is Nithyananda, Eternal Bliss. The other side is open to suit your development. The Ananda Spurana program that I conduct is one side, the Nithyananda Spurana Program is another side and Healers Initiation is yet another side. Each opens up into a larger pathway. This Himalayan trip is a highway. These other programs are dirt tracks compared to it.

The peak of gnana, knowledge, is still at the foot of bhakti or devotion. The greatest of rishis, the great sages, came down to see the child Krishna playing at Brindavan, a temple town in Uttar

Pradesh. The gopis did not even acknowledge these great Masters. The rishis asked the Gopis, 'don't you know who we are?' The Gopis replied 'no'. The Rishi said 'we meditate upon Krishna's feet and keep him in our hearts.' The Gopis then said, 'Come with us, we play with him, we don't need to focus on his feet, he is always in our hearts. We shall show you his full form.'

Another small story:

Vishnu had a migraine. The entire Vaikunta, Vishnu's abode, and deva loka were in turmoil. They asked him what they could do to help. Vishnu said: 'get the dust from the feet of my devotee and put it on my head, it'll cure me.' All devas looked at Narada, his greatest known devotee. Narada shied away: 'how can I put the dust of my feet on my Master's head, I shall incur great sins. So say the great rishi, all deities and devas.'

Someone then suggests: 'let's ask the gopis, the girls who play with Krishna.'

Narada went down and told them about Vishnu's headache. They said: 'you have taken all your problems to our Master and given him a headache, now you ask us what to do.'

Narada said: 'he wants the dust of a devotee's feet, but it will cause great sin.'

Said the gopis: 'You fool! How does it matter what sins we incur if we can cure our lord's illness.' One gopi spread out her upper cloth and all the gopis danced upon it to collect all their feet dust and gave it to Narada: 'here, take this, we do not know who is the most sincere devotee amongst us; all our feet dust is here; go, give it to our Master.'

It is said that Vishnu still carries the dust of the gopis on his head. Vishnu's mukuta (crown) is the feet dust of Radha. This mukuta is made of the clay of Brindavan where the gopis danced, not out of gold and jewels.

All invocation mantras start with the feet, feet of devotees. The first entrance step in any temple has the image of two prostrate devotees. Here the feet dust of all devotees is gathered.

In Brindavan no one utters the name of Krishna, they all say radhe, radhe, in honor of his beloved gopi. She is the bridge, she is the energy.

Ramakrishna says the key to enlightenment is on the hip of Devi! Unless she takes out the key, nothing can be done.' That is why all importance is given to Radha, Krishna's beloved and the gopis.

The greatest of all intellectuals, the master of advaita, Shankara says 'Bhaja Govindam, Bhaja Govindam mudamathe'. Just by uttering the name 'Govinda' all your sorrows can be destroyed.

There is nobody who is more intellectual, or sharper in wisdom than Shankara. Any philosophy on Planet Earth will either accept him or reject him; they can never go beyond him. He is the ultimate intellectual jewel. He is incomparable. He is the man who created the unabridged dictionary of world philosophies that have ever been created, being created or yet to be created. If you read the Brahmasutra Shankara Bhashya, Shankara's commentary on Vyasa's Brahmasutra, you will understand that no more philosophies can be created. You will feel like an underachiever in comparison. To read the whole Bhashyam, you need 10 lives. He took 10 years to write it.

The above line from Bhaja Govindam means, 'Fool! Chant the name of Govinda 3 times and at the end of your life when Lord Yama comes, you will get enlightened. That is the only way to reach Enlightenment and not by learning tukrunch, the grammar to learn Sanskrit and scriptures.

By intellectually analyzing, you will make any problem only worse. Out of love and bliss, things will be flooded away. When the flood of bliss happens, there will be no peak or valley. Everything will be level. You will not know which a problem is, or which happiness is. Everything will dissolve into Eternal Bliss or Nithyananda.

Ganga is Energy. This Energy can help to guide you to the higher world. Ganga is like a cell phone. You can contact the main relay center or hub through it, like '911' in USA! The hub will take immediate action. Whether the reason is medical need or any burglary or fire alarm, the same number will help.

In the same way, Ganga is the '911' created by the great rishis! The Message comes to Vaikunta, a VIP pass is given, and you reach the higher world. Ganga's energy will send anyone pulling and pushing, struggling for life, upwards, it will pack him and send him up. It is mercy killing in a spiritual way, that's all!'

Someone asked: If all of Gnana, wisdom, is going to take you to bhakti, devotion, why not go straight to bhakti?'