Part 3: Open the door... let the breeze in! - tools for joyful living
As long as you focus on what you don't have, you will sense a vacuum in your life. The words, 'I want…' is like a black hole. It is sure to swallow up whatever you already have in your life, and leave you feeling empty.
Once a man went to Ramana Maharishi and said, Bhagwan, I want peace!
Ramana replied, From your own statement, just remove the word 'I', remove the word 'want' and what remains is Peace!
Remove the ego, remove the expectation, and peace is already yours.
You have heard the story of Shiva and the Brahma Kapala. This Brahma Kapala is inside all of us. It is nothing but our own ego.
The ego is such that it swallows everything!
In your own life, just think of the things you are wishing for right now. Make a list.
Now make a list of the things you already have. Which list makes you happy, and which list makes you uneasy?
The answer is obvious.
So which list should you be focusing on? Every living thing has the sense to focus on preserving its own happiness! Why don't we?
Whether you want to base your life on asking, or on gratitude, is entirely up to you.
There are only two kinds of religion in the world: religions based on prayer, and religions based on gratitude.
The religion of prayer can be followed by the masses. The religion of gratitude can be followed only by a select few. With prayer comes supplication, expectation. With gratitude comes spirituality.
That is the principle behind Sufism, behind Hasidism. It is the art of living in gratitude, the art of living life in such a way that everything becomes holy. The Sufis and Bhavuls sing and dance to express their gratitude to Existence. Singing and dancing is a form of prayer for them.
Showing your gratitude is not a matter of spending hours doing pooja. Just being joyful, being aware of the gift of life, is enough.
Showing gratitude has become such a ritual, such a duty for us, that we have forgotten what real gratitude feels like.
All your life you are taught to be grateful to your parents, to your teachers, to friends and strangers. This is just a conditioning! When real gratitude arises, you will see what a tremendous difference there is! Gratitude is nothing but an upsurge of joy, of compassion. It flows from you without your awareness; you can't help it!
We have not tasted the sweetness of gratitude, the tremendous sense of fulfillment that you feel when you pay your gratitude to Existence.
A small story:
The Sufi master Junnaid used to pay his gratitude to God five times every day. At one time, he and his followers were wandering through some villages where Sufism was not accepted.
In the first village, people refused to give them alms, so they were forced to go without food that day. The next day, the same thing happened. On the third day, the village they passed through was so hostile that they were driven out with sticks and stones.
That night as usual, Junnaid knelt down and offered his gratitude to God. Seeing this, some of his disciples were furious.
For three days we have gone without food, Master! Today we were driven out of that village like dogs! Is this what you are offering your gratitude for? they questioned him.
Junnaid replied, I never used to thank Existence for anything in particular! I never felt grateful for any reason. Then how can I stop being grateful for any reason? My gratitude doesn't need reasons; it simply flows.
Life itself is a great gift from Existence.
Living itself is enough reason to be grateful. Existence is showering on us! The sunshine, the flowers, your body, your life; did you ask for any of these?
Have we worked very hard to deserve life?
Can anyone say that they have spent time in God's kitchen or garden, labouring hard so that they are granted this life?
No!
Life has simply been gifted to us.
That's why we value it so cheaply, that's why we take life for granted. In the beginning, all religions, all cultures used to emphasize gratitude to Life. But gradually, we have forgotten it. In Bharat, we have the phrase, Annam Brahma (Food is God). Christians and Jews say grace before every meal. But how often do we really feel the gratitude? Usually we just mumble the words out of habit.
One of my devotees told me this story; this really happened: He used to call his wife from office every afternoon at lunchtime. Just before hanging up, he always used to tell her, I love you.
One day, his boss called him on the phone at lunchtime. After speaking, he said without thinking, I love you! And unfortunately for him, his boss was a lady! You can imagine what happened after that.
This is what happens when you just act out of habit, without internalizing the meaning of the words. Just as this man used to say I love you casually, without really feeling any love, we also say Thank you without any true sense of gratitude.
In Tantra, before making love, the two people worship each other, because they are going to enter into the merging of two divine energies. They welcome each other with reverence and gratitude.
That is the difference between Sex, Love and Compassion!
This doesn't apply to your relationships alone. It is an evaluation of your attitude towards life itself.
When you give and take with only expectation, and no respect, your relationship with life will be like sex. It is bound to result in short-term pleasure, and long-term frustration.
When you give and take with expectation, but also with respect, then it is Love. This is the way most of us live. We respect life, but we also get hurt when life doesn't give us what we want.
With compassion, there is no expectation; only a free and joyful giving. Like the flower spreads its fragrance without thinking about whether it will be appreciated or not, we just give love out of the overflowing of compassion.
And don't think that if you give without expecting, you will get nothing in return! It is exactly the opposite. When you live in gratitude, you will be blessed by Life.
In compassion, you are grateful that the other accepts what you give, helps you share, eases the burden of your love. Have you ever thought about that? Not to be loved is very difficult, but not being allowed to love is far worse! If someone doesn't return your love, you can bear it. But if someone doesn't even accept your love, can you bear it? We are all born to give; we are just not aware of it.
In Bharat, we have a beautiful concept that is unheard of in the West: in Bharat, it is the giver who says thank you!
This is because, the other has given him a chance to give, has accepted his offering. In Bharat it is considered a sin to take, and a privilege to give. So the giver thanks the taker for doing him a favour, for accepting his offering. But I say, when you give and accept without expectation, both become sacred acts. As Shakespeare says so beautifully about compassion; both he who gives and he who receives are blessed.
The only way to have a live connection with reality, with Existence, is through gratitude.
When you are loving, flowing, filled with gratitude, you will always feel the tremendous energy of Existence flow through you.
Don't say thank you, be a thank you!
Don't pay gratitude, become gratitude!
This is Tathata - accepting whatever life gives you with reverence and gratitude.
Gratitude is the most effortless path to lifelong happiness. Thank you!
WHAT IS KARMA?
UNDERSTANDING THE LAW