(introductions are completed)
So we have all introduced ourselves to each other? Or rather, in so many ways, we have tried to introduce ourselves to each other…
Now let us see if we can introduce ourselves to ourselves!
Let us say, you are a doctor. Society calls you a doctor. But are you a doctor? Are you a doctor? (gestures to a doctor in the audience) You are not a doctor, your profession is 'Doctor'. Suppose your name is Sita. Are you a Sita? No, your name isSita. Do you understand? You are not a Sita. You are not a Rama. These are just names. So who are you?
(voice from audience) I am atma? (soul)
Atma?! How do you know? If I tell you, you are atma – can you even understand what I mean? Why did you pick up that word? At least, we understand something of the meaning of 'Doctor', but we don't know anything about atma. (laughs) You see, either we get caught up in the outside world, or in the inside world. Either you want to be identified as a doctor, or as atma! What is the inside world? Thoughts! Atma, jivatma, paramatma – all these are words you have picked up from some books – which you should not have read, in the first place! (laughter from audience). We simply read all these books, get all kinds of ideas into our heads, and then do something foolish. There are two types of phrases – one is 'I am a Doctor'. The other is 'I am Atma'. Which name-tag you use depends on which world you identify with – outer or inner. Tell me, do we know anything about atma? As ignorant as we are about whether we are doctors – we are equally ignorant about whether we are atma. 'I am Atma' is not something to be uttered! It is something to be experienced. I tell you, don't even have that illusion. That is the illusion of the intellect, of the intellectuals – the knowledgeable idiots! That is the right word for those people who have read too much of spiritual literature and walk around saying, 'I am Atma, I am Atma' – knowledgeable idiots! Are you finding me too harsh? But there is no other way. You see, I am here just to break heads – there is no other way, if you want real understanding.
To tell you openly – I am not here to teach you what is meditation. I am here to teach you what is not meditation. When I teach you what is not meditation, you will naturally fall into meditation! To learn something new, you first have to unlearn so many things.
I am not here to answer your questions. I am here to question your answers! These six days, I am just going to break whatever ideas you have in your head.
The worldly man has caught on to the idea that he is a doctor, a husband, a rich person, or whatever. The so-called spiritual man clings to the idea, 'I am atma'.
Both are just ideas – at the most, they are going to be skin-deep. You just hear the words, 'I am atma' from some book, some discourse, some guru – and start believing it! That is all has actually happened.
I think nothing more has happened?
Anyone who can say, 'No, something more than that has happened in me?
(voice from audience) Not yet. Not yet… not yet. But you have heard about it from books, from the scriptures? You have heard, but you have not experienced.
What does this mean? It means you have eaten, but you have not digested.
When you have eaten, but not digested, what happens? Tell me.
Either indigestion – or vomiting!
At least, with indigestion, only you suffer. If you vomit, others are going to be suffering! (laughter from audience) When we talk, most of us are just vomiting ideas. We simply gather ideas which we can't digest, and vomit them upon others. Especially when the ideas are half-cooked, the more the urge to vomit them! So please don't cling to both these ideas… okay?
Now let's come to the point – of introducing ourselves to ourselves.
So, you say that you are Rama, you are Sita. Just turn inwards and ask, Am I Rama? No! It is just a label given to you by society. Do you understand me? The exact word is 'label'. As we label things, parcels, houses – in the same way, you have been labeled by society. You are not this name. Am I right? If anybody here can't accept this idea, if you are not able to agree – you can raise your hand. (from audience) That is right, Swamiji. Hmmm…(laughs) So then, who are you? (gesturing to the person who has spoken) Who are you? That you have to explain, Swamiji! (laughter) Ha ha ha - no, no, no! I cannot explain! Actually it means, we are coming to the conclusion that we don't know who we are! Once we accept that we don't know who we are, we begin to start knowing. When we know that we don't know, we at least know that we don't know. We at least know that much. But when we don't know that we don't know, we don't even know that we don't know!
Yes?
(from audience) Is it necessary to know?
Yes, a beautiful question.
Actually, if you feel that it is not necessary to know, that is well and good. Just drop everything and be happy. All this confusion ends, and you can simply rest.
(from audience) But is it possible? See, that is where the problem starts! She asked the right question, Is it possible? Actually, it is impossible.
You see, if you come and sit here, and I am also sitting here in peace… for three minutes, if we just sit here like this, can your mind keep quiet? At least you will want to know, Who is this Swami? What is his name? Am I right? Or if you are alone in the room, if you find an old newspaper lying here, you are going to pick it up and read it again. You have already read it, but you will try to see if there's something new there! You will be wondering if there's something you have missed. (from audience) They say the mind is like a monkey... Yes. I didn't use the word 'monkey' directly, but it is the apt word! We are continuously on the path of knowing. We can't rest without knowing. If we are happy, if we ask, Why should we know?, that is
A buffalo doesn't have this problem!
Relax. There is no need to know!
But as she asked, is it possible?
perfect.
No.
Does any buffalo ever bother? Does any buffalo worry, 'Am I a buffalo or am I Atma?'
Have you ever seen any buffalo sitting and worrying, Should I meditate or not? Which path should I choose? Which guru
should I choose?
No way. All a buffalo knows about is to eat, sleep and wallow in the mud.
Of course, I am not suggesting that this is the path for you...!
As a human being, the quest arises on its own. It is not as if you are here because of yourself. You are here despite yourself. Please be very clear about this. Don't give yourself credit, saying, I am attending spiritual discourses, I am practising meditation, see how much experience I've gathered! It's very pleasant, I know, to go home and brag about this - especially to your mother-in-law or to your daughter-in-law. But just remember, you are here despite yourself. You are here because you will find no peace unless you know who you are. That question is dragging you here. That is why people do the rounds of temples after temples, swamis after swamis, books after books, courses after courses.
Can any of you say, I am happy without knowing about myself?
You can contradict me. Please be open.
(from audience) Everyone doesn't have to be bothered… (another person) I agree. Really? You are not bothered? Then please don't come for the class from tomorrow onwards! (roar of laughter)
You can relax. If you aren't concerned, if you are already at ease – it is perfectly OK. There is no compulsion to do the meditation.
(from audience) Suppose a man has knowledge worth 100 marks, but wants to gain 101 or 102 marks… suppose you've reached a certain level, and still you want to know more, so you come?
In the spiritual life, there are only 2 categories – either you know, or you don't know. There is no such thing as 100 marks or 120 marks. In the spiritual world, there is no possibility of knowing 70% and not knowing 30%.
When you know about something, when you want to gather knowledge, you can do it in bits and pieces.
But to know about is very different from to know.
To know is to experience.
Can you say, I know 50% of how this rose smells? Hmmm..? You either know or you don't know, that's all. There is no third category.
(from audience) But Swamiji, how many people actually ask this question? One in a million? Two in a million?
Why do you bother about how many others ask this question? All you have to know is, Am I asking? Is this question there in me?
That is what I am concerned with. Whether you are asking or not - each of you.
I am not concerned with the masses. I am talking to you.
See, there are two types of listening.
When you listen to a medical discourse, you usually end up diagnosing whether you have the symptoms of the disease being discussed. But with a spiritual discourse it is even worse. You are trying to find out whether the person next to you has the symptoms!
If it's a physical disease, if the speaker says, If you have pain in the knees, it is arthritis – you are sure to do a quick mental check-up of your legs.
But if the speaker says, If a man lives in Dharma, he is a Dharmatma - the temptation is to look at the next person, to find out whether he is qualified to be called a Dharmatma! Especially if I am saying something negative, it is very likely that you're thinking – Swamiji is explaining this not for me, but for the others in the room who are making this mistake. This is the way we listen, the way we think.
You think, I know all about myself. All these talks are for these other people who don't know anything about themselves. But whenever I give five minutes' time to someone, they start talking only about their worries!
If you know yourself clearly, will you have worries? This is the scale which you can use to measure whether you truly know yourself or not.
And as I said, there is nothing like knowing yourself 30% or 50% or any such thing. It's all or nothing.
(from audience) But Swamiji, we are traveling towards knowing ourselves, at this point we may know partly…
Let me tell you one thing. In a deep spiritual experience, there will be no traveling. It is a moment's experience. In imagining that we are traveling, getting somewhere spiritually, we are simply cheating ourselves. We are unable to take a real leap into spirituality, and at the same time we are not ready to confess that we don't know anything about it – what a shame that would be! So to keep our ego happy we create our own philosophies: short of enlightenment, I know everything about spirituality! Haven't you cheated yourself enough already? Wake up!
In the first chapter of the Bhagavad Gita, Arjuna Vishaada Yoga (The Yoga of Arjuna's Grief), Arjuna talks throughout and Krishna remains silent. It is only when Arjuna finally surrenders, saying I know nothing!, that he is at last ready to receive Krishna's message.
Although Krishna and Arjuna were friends and childhood playmates, though there might have been hundreds of other more relaxed situations, the Gita was not delivered to Arjuna anytime earlier.
Why?
Because until then, Arjuna was not ripe to receive the Gita! It is only when he utters the words, I don't know, that he becomes qualified to know. The basic condition for spiritual progress is this: to know very clearly that you don't know. This is the first step towards really knowing.
So today we will end on the right beginning… thank you.
Swamiji, how to start knowing?
Ha, ha! Don't worry about that just now. From tomorrow I'll be guiding you on all these things – how to, when to and all that.
(from audience) But first my ego has to surrender…
There is no need to get tense and have so many questions inside your head!
Just having listened to this is enough.Tomorrow I will be giving you meditation techniques that will take care of all these issues.
(to all) From tomorrow, we will have be having daily meditation sessions.
I will be giving you techniques to cleanse and heal your physical, mental and spiritual energies.
Please wear loose white clothes. And no cellphones, please. Every day you will be given an exercise as homework. So do it properly and bring it back to me!
(laughter from all)
This is not the usual kind of homework. You will be given an idea which you have to work out the whole day, and give me a report the next day. Please do it sincerely. I trust you are all intelligent people? Now it is up to you to prove your intelligence!
Thank you. Day 2: 15th April
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