UTTER CONFUSION LEADS TO SEEKING
Your every suffering and every ignorance is because of your decision which you made due to some other vested interests. Why do you not want the transformation? Because, transformation means literally the earth on which you are standing for the last forty to fifty years will shake.
Many things with which you consoled yourself as your success, you cannot bear the truth that you are not successful. So you have to constantly make yourself believe you are a success.
To make yourself believe you are success internally, you go on planning, looking, altering, and continuously convince yourself to believe the ideas with which you built your life is right.
'See, so many people my age and my colleagues don't have all this, this, and this. I have all this, this, and this. So I am successful.' But one corner of your mind laughs at you. 'no, no!' But the other side, 'no, no, no, I am a success!'
'Which side can I support? One part of me claims and consoles me I am success. The other part of me claims and condemns me as a failure. Which part should I support?' If you are in utter confusion, be very clear, the seeking has started in you! If you have not yet faced the confusion, the possibility for transformation has not yet opened.
The first thing any person has to face in life for enlightenment is utter confusion: 'am I successful or am I a failure?' As long as you are convinced you see what exists, you will not have this confusion. And we are afraid of entering into the confusion. We do not want to rock the boat.
'No, it is all going well! Why unnecessarily create a problem?' You do not want to come to terms with the reality. You do not want to take any argument which is rising in you to the logical conclusion.
How many of you cognize, how many of you postpone taking any logical arguments in you due to this logical conclusion? When the arguments rise, you postpone it, you push it aside. You don't want to take it to a logical conclusion. You suppress it. You push it under the carpet. How many of you do this in your life?
It is life! Look in. Anything you push under the carpet without taking it to the logical conclusion becomes a mechanism which restrains your possibility.
The pattern of not reaching to the logical conclusion is what I call 'life imprisonment!' Constantly pushing things under the carpet! You don't understand, under your carpet is a big volcano in there! You are sitting on a volcano! How will you be able to rest? How will you be in restful awareness?
That is why you are not able to sit with you. Religion has to start from the space of restful awareness. Conflict resolution is the ability to take our logical thinking to the logical conclusion.
We have to start with restful awareness. We have to start with carrying the right space.