CHAPTER 9 The Initiation: Be Unclutched🔗

This session's subject is about how to be unclutched, the science of inner bliss. What do I mean by the words, 'Be unclutched'?

THE I DENTITY GAME

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We have two identities: one which we show to the outer world and the other, which we believe in the inner world. The identity which we project to the outer world is how we want society to recognize us, how we want society to respect us. In Sanskrit, we use the word ahankar for this. The identity which we project to the outer world is ahankar. Usually it will always be a little more than what we are. The identity which we believe we are in the inner world is mamakar, which will always be less than what we are. Ahankar will always be a little more than what we are and mamakar will always be a little less than what we are.

On the outside, we will always be projecting a little more than what we are. Inside, we will always be concluding a little less than what we are. This is what we call the superiority complex and the inferiority complex.

Our life is nothing but the fight between these two worlds. If you are spending your whole energy expanding your ahankar, the identity which you project to the outer world, your life will become materialistic. If you are spending your whole life chiseling

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and developing the mamakar, the identity which you think is you, your whole life becomes moralistic, suppressing.

Working in the outer world with ahankar, and working in the inner world with mamakar, both lead only to more and more suffering, more and more depression.

The person who works on ahankar, on trying to prove himself to others, on trying to develop the identity which he shows to the outer world, ends up in depression of success around the age of 40 or 45. What I mean is, you will have achieved all that you wanted to achieve, but you will feel depressed, not knowing what you wanted to achieve it for.

The basic truth is that you are much more than these two identities of ahankar and mamakar that you carry. You are beyond the identity which you project to the outer world, and the identity which you believe is you in the inner world. You are beyond these two. This is the truth. When you unclutch from these two

identities, suddenly you realize you are beyond these two; these two can never bind you.

PAIN S HAFT OR PLEASURE S HAFT

Let me expand on the word 'unclutching'. What do I mean by the word 'unclutching'? As of now, you are constantly connecting all your thoughts and creating shafts in your mind. For example, the headache which happened in you ten years ago, the headache which happened nine years ago, the headache which happened eight years ago and the headache which happened yesterday, are all independent experiences which happened in your life. For the sake of nurturing memory, or for the sake of easy reference, you put all these headache experiences together in your mind. You store all these memories in one area in your mind. You archive it this way just for utility, just for reference. But by and by you start believing that they are really connected!

At the initial level, you archive them for the sake of easy reference. Just like how you file your office work, you archive these incidents also. You put them all in one file. After some time you start believing that all those experiences are connected.

The suffering which happened ten years ago happened for a different reason, for a different purpose, and it was a different place and totally different experience. The suffering which happened nine years ago was for a totally different reason. It was also a different experience as well. The suffering which happened eight years ago was for a different reason, for a different purpose, and in a different place. When you start believing they are connected, you create a shaft. If you connect all the painful memories, you create a pain shaft. You think, 'My life is suffering.

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My life is pain.' You start believing that your whole life is a chain of suffering, a long chain of suffering.

When you start believing that your whole life is suffering, you have created a pain shaft, and you will wait in your life only for painful incidents so that you can elongate this shaft. You start looking to develop that shaft.

One more thing you should understand is that whatever you believe in you expand that. If you believe in something, you will again and again see that same thing happening in your life. That is why again and again, vedic rishis say you create and see what you want to see, not what is. You create what you want. Whatever you believe in, you will create it and expand it.

Once you start believing that your life is painful, you are waiting unconsciously for painful incidents to happen in order to strengthen that belief, to strengthen your judgment. We don't usually collect arguments to pass judgments; we collect arguments to support our judgments. The judgment is ready; we only collect arguments to support it.

When you are clear that your life is a pain shaft, a big chain of essentially unrelated pains, you are waiting for some more incidents to support your faith, more judgments to support your belief. A person who believes that life is a pain shaft will unconsciously create and elongate the pain shaft.

Second thing: whenever you are adding painful incidents unconsciously, consciously you will be trying to break the shaft also.

Sometimes you believe that your whole life is a chain of joyful experiences. Of course, usually we don't believe life to be this way, but just assume this for now. It is very rare to believe that your life is a shaft of joyful experiences. If you do, then constantly you are in fear, thinking, 'Will it continue?' You think, 'Will it continue in the same way?'

Understand clearly that if you believe life is a shaft of pain, you do two things: unconsciously you gather more and more incidents and strengthen your faith, and consciously you try to break it, fighting to stop it. On the contrary, if you believe that it is a joyful chain, unconsciously you will be in fear that it will end, and consciously you will try to prolong it.

Understand these two big dramas that happen in us. When you believe it is a pain shaft, you try to break it consciously. When you believe it is a joy shaft, you try to elongate it consciously. But the big difficulty, the important thing that we forget, is that you can neither break the shaft nor elongate it because the shaft itself does not exist!

The shaft does not exist. When you started archiving all the incidents from your life for the sake of easy reference, by and by you started believing that they are existentially connected. You connected all the incidents of your life for the sake of utility. But after some time, you start believing that they are existentially connected to each other and believe your life to be either a pain shaft or a joy shaft. When you start believing it is a pain shaft, you try to break it. When you believe it to be a joy shaft, you try to elongate it. But one important thing you forget is, you can neither break nor elongate the shaft, because the shaft itself does not exist!

It's only your faith, or your belief which makes these things happen.

YOUR MIND IS NOTHING BUT I LLOGICAL, INDEPENDENT, UNCONNECTED, AND UNCLUTCHED THOUGHTS

So many thoughts are flowing in your mind constantly.

Try this: sit for ten minutes and write down all your thoughts without editing them, without judging them, just as if a transcribing software is connected to your mind. Then read what you have written. You will understand that all your thoughts, whatever is moving in you, are illogical, independent, completely unconnected and unclutched thoughts! Try to do this in your house when you are relaxed. Just sit and pen down whatever is going on in your mind.

If you start judging your mind while writing, you will interrupt the natural flow of thoughts. If you start judging your thoughts, you are actually teaching your mind to play a hypocritical game with you. Whenever you judge your kids and express your judgment to them, you are actually teaching them to hide things from you, that's all.

Do not judge. Just plainly see what is going on, and pen the whole thing down. Then read what you have written. You will understand that your thoughts are illogical, independent, unconnected and unclutched. You would be sitting here and thinking, 'I think I should go to the office tomorrow.' The very next moment you would think, 'I need to go to Australia to settle that deal this week.' Then the next moment, you would think, 'I wish I could attend my kid's annual day celebrations.' Is there any correlation between your office, Australia and your kid's annual day celebrations? No!

Your thoughts are just like water bubbles in the fish tank. They just appear and disappear.

If you look a little deeply, suddenly you will understand, that by your very nature you are unclutched. There is a gap between one thought and another thought, just like how there are gaps between the water bubbles in the fish tank. But the gaps are too small; you are not able to perceive them and so it looks like a continuous stream to you. Although they are independent bubbles coming out of the same source, they look like a stream to you.

In the same way, if you look a little deeply into your thoughts, you will realize that your thoughts by their very nature are independent. For example, if you see a dog on the street, suddenly you will remember the pet you used to play with when you were a child. Then you will remember your teacher you taught you when you were a child. Next, you will remember the house where your teacher used to live. If you look at it logically, you will see that the dog in street and the teacher are not connected. There is no logical connection between the two, but your mind simply flows with thoughts like these. If you look a little deeply, you will understand that your thoughts are illogical, independent, unconnected and unclutched. But the problem is, you can't live in this wilderness. You can't live with this natural flow because you need a clear-cut idea about everything. So you pick up your thoughts and connect them in the way in which you wish to. If you believe that life is joy, you pick up all the joyful thoughts and connect them. If you believe that your life is pain, you pick up all the painful thoughts and connect them to create a shaft of pain.

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Whatever you believe about life, you pick up the thoughts related to that and create a shaft. If you see what is going on in your mind, it will be an illogical mixture of pain, joy and every other emotion possible. Not only that, the depths of the thoughts will be so varied that you will not be able to make any logical statements about them! You will not be able to come to any logical conclusion about them. As such, what is happening is, that completely illogical, independent, unconnected and unclutched thoughts are just emanating from your mind, that's all. What you do is, you collect all your painful memories and create a pain shaft, or collect all joyful experiences and create a joy shaft.

Not only that, you start firmly believing in the shaft as well. Then the trouble starts, because you will try to elongate or break the shaft, but you will not be able to do it. You can neither elongate it nor break it, because the shaft does not exist; because by your very nature, you are unclutched! By your very nature, you are an unclutched being. But societal conditioning causes you to create these shafts. There starts the conflict between your genuine nature and that which is created by your mind.

BY NATURE, YOU RENOUNCE YOUR THOUGHTS EVERY MOMENT

You need to understand an important thing about renouncing: you don't need to renounce any thing. People come and ask me, 'Should I renounce everything to achieve enlightenment?' I tell them, 'Don't renounce what you have. Just renounce what you don't have. That's enough!'

You carry so many things that you don't actually have, like your fantasies and your fears. Greed gives rise to fantasy, and fear itself is nothing but negative fantasy. We are living with so many things that we don't really have. Our fantasies, our fears, our worries - all of these things that we are living with, we don't really have. They are creations of our mind.

So just renounce what you don't have. That is enough. Then automatically, whatever you have, you will live with. Understand, the shaft which you have created for yourself is the original sin that you have committed. By connecting thoughts, by clutching onto your thoughts, you commit the first sin.

Understand that by your very nature, you are an unclutched being. By your very nature, you are an unconnected, independent, causeless being! You don't need to renounce anything because by nature you cannot hold on to anything. It is only when your mind plays up, you start thinking that you need to renounce many things. Actually you can't hold on to things even if you wish to. People come and tell me, 'I am so depressed. I don't know how to come out of it.' I tell them, 'Just try to hold on to it!' You will not be able to!

For half an hour, sit and try to hold on to the depression. You will see that you can't. Try your best to sit and meditate on your depression. Suddenly you will come back and tell me that you are not able to meditate on it any more because it is not there!

By your very nature you are unclutched. What do I mean by this? You see, any thought will come up only if the previous thought has died. No two thoughts can co-exist. Until the earlier thought is renounced, you can't have a new thought. The fact that a new thought is happening in you proves that the earlier thought has been renounced. Fortunately you can't have two thoughts at the same time. Even if you suspect you are

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schizophrenic, meaning you have contradictory thoughts within you all the time, you can't have two thoughts at the same time.

All these ideas such as 'unconscious', 'split personality', 'schizophrenia', etc. are modern day sins. In those days, the priests gave life to the concept of sin to create guilt in you and rule you. In the same way, the psychologists and psychiatrists created these words such as unconscious, split personality, schizophrenia, etc to aid in their profession. Understand: these are all the modern day terms to exploit you, nothing else.

This might be shocking to you because you always believed that there is something called the unconscious, that there is something called split personality, there is something called schizophrenia, etc. But just look a little deep inside, and you will understand, the very fact that you are having new thoughts means that the earlier thoughts have been renounced. It is similar to trashing your emails. But the problem is, you also decide to pick up your emails from the recycle bin!

Every moment thoughts are being renounced by you, by your very nature. Whenever a new thought appears in you, it means that the old thought has been renounced. But even after renouncing, you try to pick up the thoughts from the trash can and create a new shaft. It is like you feel that some valuable thoughts have been dropped in the trash can, so you pick up the thoughts from it. You pick them up and put them near your bed. You also spray a little perfume on it to keep it a little nice. You try to decorate it.

Just do a few basic things to get liberated from this life and death cycle.

First, have a clear understanding that you are creating a shaft, a shaft of pain or shaft of joy, and trying to fight with it by either trying to elongate it or break it.

Second: don't even think that you have to unclutch yourself. By your very nature, you are an unclutched being. So stop creating a shaft, and you will be unclutched.

You don't need to unclutch. People come and ask me how long it takes to teach meditation. It takes only two words: be unclutched. To teach what is not meditation takes one or two years for me. To teach what is meditation takes only one minute. You don't need to learn meditation. All you need to do is stop creating the shaft.

Constantly you are creating the shaft: the pain shaft or the joy shaft. And you think your mind is flowing with a certain logic. When you stop creating the shaft, suddenly you will realize you are unclutched by your very nature.

The moment people hear this truth, they feel shaken. They think, 'What will happen to my ego if I unclutch? What will happen to my property, my wealth, my name and fame, and all that I have created based on the outer world and my ego?

What will happen to my 'feeling of mine', my holy personality which I created by my penance, discipline, mediation and all those things? What will happen to 'I' and 'mine' if I remain unclutched? When you have a great amount of vested interest in your 'I' and 'mine', when you are holding on to too many things based on 'I' and 'mine', then it is very difficult to understand you are unclutched by your very nature.

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INTELLECT VS WEALTH

Try your best to create something based on ahankar - 'I', and feel fulfilled; you will never be able to. In the same way, try your best to create something on your mamakar – 'mine', and feel fulfilled; you will never be able to. There is a story of Brahma and Vishnu searching for the head and foot of Lord Shiva respectively. This incident is part of a mythological recording. It happened in my native place, Tiruvannamalai where the sacred Arunachala hill is. It is a spiritual nerve centre. I call that place a spiritual incubator. Just like how premature babies need an incubator to supply air and all the basic things, so also for enlightened beings to land on the planet earth, you need a spiritual incubator to protect and help them, and allow the whole expansion to happen before they settle down in their body. Tiruvannamalai is such a spiritual incubator.

The story says Brahma had to find Shiva's head and Vishnu was asked to find His feet. If you know the background of Brahma and Vishnu, you will be able to see how beautiful the story is. Who is Brahma? He is the husband of Saraswati. Saraswati is the Goddess of learning or knowledge, symbolically signifying intellect or the head or the 'I' ahankar.

Who is Vishnu? Vishnu is the husband of Lakshmi, Goddess of wealth, symbolically signifying possession or the 'mine' mamakar. The story says Brahma started searching for the head, the sahasrara of Shiva. Vishnu started searching for the feet.

Vishnu came back after some time and said, 'I am not able to find Your feet. Please forgive me. I realize no one will be able to find it either.' He understood the truth and surrendered.

But Brahma who was going upwards to find Shiva's head, continued. Suddenly, he came across a flower (called Tazhampoo in Tamil) which was falling downwards from Shiva's ear. He learnt from it that it had been traveling for four ages of Brahma in order to reach this point of travel. Brahma realized the futility of his own mission but did not want to accept the situation. He requested the flower to come as a false witness to Shiva to say that Brahma had seen the head of Shiva. The flower agreed. Brahma went to Shiva with the flower and the story. Shiva at once knew the truth and got angry. He cursed Brahma and the flower for lying. Later, when Brahma understood his mistake and surrendered, Shiva graced the two of them.

You need to understand the story well. Vishnu is the embodiment of wealth, Brahma of intellect - ahankar and mamakar, that is, I and mine. Neither by wealth nor by intellect you can achieve Neither by wealth nor by intellect you can achieve enlightenment enlightenment… enlightenment that's the truth of the story.

One important thing, if you dig in the line of wealth, mamakar, you will get frustrated like Vishnu. You will face the depression of success and you will become humble. You will fall, only to understand the truth. You will surrender easily if you dig in the line of mamakar. Very soon you will realize that wealth cannot take you to God. That is why Vishnu surrendered so quickly to Shiva in the story. That is the real significance of choosing Vishnu, beholder of wealth, for this role.

On the other hand, the intellect is so strong like Brahma, that you will not only be unable to find Shiva, you will not be willing to surrender either! But once you complete your ego trip and