Beloved Master,
Is our unhappiness based upon our own choice? Do we choose it? And if we do, how is it that we are not aware of such a choice?
You must understand this clearly. Human beings are always choosing unhappiness. This is to do with the way we have been brought up. If you are unhappy there is always some materialistic gain. And this starts from the very beginning. A child begins to notice, he begins to see that when unhappy, he receives sympathy. People become loving towards him. He gains attention.
Attention is what the ego lives on. When attention is given, you feel as if you are somebody. You begin to feel more important. Whereas, if no one pays you any attention, if they remain indifferent to you, you feel like a nobody. We fight through our whole lives working for attention, continuously feeding the ego.
Ego is present through our whole lives in every situation. However, the ego is most prominent in our relationships. The more attention you receive from others, the more satisfied the ego becomes. The more people praise you, the larger you feel. But if people were to completely forget you, your ego feels insecure. The ego's very survival comes under threat.
A child learns politics from the very beginning. He learns to look ill, to be unhappy because these things will gain attention; they will gain sympathy. When a child is happy, everyone is as they are; there will be no special attention. So from the very beginning, we choose to be miserable and seek attention. This is one thing.
Second thing: whenever you are happy, whenever you are blissful, the people around you become jealous. This same attitude you carry towards children also. When you see children being joyful and noisy all the time, you become jealous of them. This is the truth. But you ask them to keep quiet in the name of disciplining them.
When you see small chldren whirling so joyfully and totally, they do it blissfully; that is the beautiful thing. But you people, what do you do when you see them whirl? You get uncomfortable and shout to them to keep quiet and sit. Actually, you are simply jealous. You have become so suppressed that you feel uncomfortable when someone else is expressing themselves.
And the same thing happens in our lives. When you are laughing, when you are expressing your own bliss while everyone around you is dull, they become jealous of you. So you have learnt not to show your bliss. You have learnt not to show your laughter.
Just observe yourself when you laugh. You will first look at everyone around you. Then you will calculate how much laughter to show. I have seen people. When I am telling some joke, they will not simply let go and laugh. They will first look at the others. They will first look at everyone to see if they are laughing along with them. And only if someone is there to give them company they will laugh. But by the time they do all of this, by the time they find some companion to laugh with, the moment would have had passed and they would have missed the juice of the joke.
Even our laughter has become a social matter. Bliss has become completely unknown. Just see the way life has become. If you are ecstatic, if you are dancing in the streets out of an expression of your inner bliss, people will think that you are mad. But if you are dull and dead people will think that you are perfectly alright.
You see: if people become blissful, the whole society will have to change because society is currently based on suffering. If people are blissful, you cannot make them chase money. You cannot lead them into wars. A person who is blissful will simply laugh at all of this and think it is complete nonsense!
So if people become blissful, society will have to change. And society has invested so much on misery. This is the reason why we bring up children to lean towards misery.
Understand; you have a choice. Every moment of your life, you have a choice whether you would like to be blissful or miserable. You have been choosing to be miserable. It has become a habit for you. Not only a habit, it has become an unconscious choice in you.
It seems easy for you to move towards misery. Ecstasy appears to be uphill and misery appears to be downhill. Ecstasy appears to be very difficult to reach. Misery seems to be the most natural way to be. But in reality, it is completely the opposite. Ecstasy is downhill and misery is uphill.
Ramana Maharishi, an enlightened Master from South Bharat has once said, 'Enlightenment is easier than peeling a potato.'
Bliss is easiest thing possible. It is your inherent nature. On the contrary, misery is the most difficult thing to achieve; it goes against your nature. No one wants to be miserable, yet everyone is miserable.
Every child is born a God and the same child dies a madman. Just see what is happening! Children are close to God. I am not saying that children neve rbecome unhappy. But when a child is unhappy, there is a certain beauty to it. Children are total in whatever they do. When a child is unhappy, he simply becomes the unhappiness. This is why he still appears to be beautiful.
One more thing: when you do something totally, the emotion underlying it will simply pass. This is why if you see when a child becomes angry and when he indulges in his anger totally, once the anger has passed, the child becomes so relaxed. After this anger, the child will be relaxed. There will be no trace of his anger left. But this is not the case with us. When we become angry, we suppress our anger because it is not proper to show that we are angry. The suppressed anger will settle down in us like a residue.
So the moment you separate yourself as one ego, misery is sure to follow. But if you are open, if you simply flow with whatever life may bring, intensely, so totally that you simply disappear, everything will become blissful for you. And the choice is there, it is very much present. But you have become unaware of it. To choose unhappiness has become a habit within you. You are just choosing it automatically. Hence there seems like there is no choice left.
Now I tell you: become aware. Become aware of this choice. When you feel yourself sinking into depression or unhappiness, simply decide to switch. And if you can find the right time, the right moment to turn within; when you are at the border of happiness and unhappiness, you will clearly feel the choice. Once you have become aware of this choice, the whole thing would have become clear to you. Then if you would like to be miserable, the choice is yours. No one else is responsible for your misery. You create your own drama. And in the same way, happiness can be chosen. When you feel unhappiness coming onto you, simply tell yourself, 'No! This is not how I am going to live. I am going to be happy.' And you will see; happiness is bound to come; it is bound to happen.
So from this moment, make it a decision, make it a choice within you. From moment to moment, tell yourself that you are going to be blissful.
One more thing: life depends on cause and effect. Cause and effect is the very base of what your life is to be. You create the cause and the effect follows. Whatever you do, the effect will always follow. Cause and effect is the innermost link of all processes of life.
For example: you see someone that you have not seen for a long time. You then become happy. So this person is the cause and happiness is the effect. In our ordinary lives, the effect follows the cause. Your emotions are based upon the causes.
Now, if you can simply create your emotions without there being a cause, then you are living without the walls of the mind. If you can simply be happy and blissful without there being any cause, then you are living outside of your mind. This is the ideal way of living. This is what I am trying to give you all. If you can be blissful without a cause, then the mind is no longer deciding your emotions. You will become the creator of your own emotions. Just imagine the freedom with which you will be living! You will be able to simply tell your body what you would like to feel. If you have the ability to decide your emotions, you will naturally choose bliss.
Understand?
I hear what You are saying, I understand what You are saying. But the problem is, with the Western mind, I only understand through my intellect. How may I get out of this, how can I get out of my head? And is it something to do with willpower?
Willpower will not help you. Willpower can never help you because it is dependant on the ego. See, willpower is only used as a means to hide our weakness. We always create the opposite to deceive others as well as ourselves. People who are foolish will try to appear wise. People who are ugly will try to appear beautiful. People who are unhappy will try to appear happy. So the opposite is created to hide what really is. We create a mask to hide what we really are. On the contrary, those who are beautiful will be unaware of their beauty. Those who are strong will be unaware of their strength.
Willpower is not power; it is weakness. A person who is powerful will have no will of his own. His will is that of the whole. As long as you have your own will, there will always be conflict. It will be like an island on the vast ocean.
And one more thing: you can never get out of the head. Trying to get out of the head will only create a fight within you. This trying to get out is the fight. So what can be done? You should not try to get out of the mind, rather you should overcome it. Simply watch. Simply be inside and watch.
Understand: if you can simply watch, then the head is not used at all. You have not dropped the mind; the mind would have dropped you. Hence you have overcome the mind.
I am reminded of a small story:
A young girl became pregnant. Her parents were extremely upset with her. They went on pestering her in hopes of finding out who the child's father was.
After a lot of questions and a lot of scolding, the girl named a Zen Master who lived close by. The parents went to the Master, yelled and literally abused him for his criminal act.
"Is that so?" the Master said.
After this incident, everybody started speaking ill of the Master. He became a man whose name when merely mentioned, would make everyone uncomfortable.
When the baby was born, the girl's parents took it to the Master and asked him to bring up the child by himself.
The Master took the baby without a word. He took good care of the baby, getting it milk and clothes from his neighbors. He did whatever was necessary to bring up the child.
About a year later, the girl confessed that she had lied to the parents. The actual father of the baby was a young man. The girl's parents immediately went to the Master. They apologized endlessly for their behavior, and requested him to return the baby. They told him that the actual father of the baby was another man.
The Master said, "Is that so?" and returned the baby.
So understand: when a person can become the witness of all that happens, the mind not only drops him, but he becomes untouched by whatever may happen. And this is the case not only with incidents that may happen outside you, but also with all that happens within you. For example: your thoughts. Just close your eyes and watch your thoughts. Watch every though that comes as if you are watching a film before you. Just watch all that may come and remain completely detached. What has happened in you? Thoughts are there, but you are not involved. After some time, you will see these thoughts gradually reducing. They are bound to reduce because how long can the mind continue its battle of intrusion? It is bound to give up you see!
The best way to overcome the mind is by simply watching it. If you can just understand this one thing, if you can simply catch the thread, thoughts will drop you. You will automatically slip into the witnessing. All that is needed is the simple understanding. If you can witness your thoughts and feel your thoughts gradually decrease, witnessing is bound to happen to you automatically. All that is needed is the simple taste.
See, I am not saying to run from the thoughts; I am not saying to suppress them, no! I am telling you to become aware of them. And there is nothing wrong with thoughts. What is wrong is your unawareness which comes with your thoughts. You become entwined in them. You forget to act without them
For example: you will be sitting in the office and working. After sometime, you will look at your wrist watch and see the time. 1'o clock you will think and then suddenly your stomach will feel empty. It is not that your stomach is empty, but it is the mind which projects itself onto the body. And in the same way, the stomach may have been feeling hungry for a long time, but your unawareness fails to recognize it until the mind interferes.
Really, you are not living. You are not living life. Your mind is coming inside. The mind is not allowing the body to act through its own instinct. This is the basic problem.
Now I tell you: watch the mind, witness the mind. You will see yourself beginning to transcend it, to overcome it. And when this happens, you will be living.
So, we will see in the next session.