80. Inner nervousness
- Instead of saying, 'One's inner beauty will be visible in his face' as in Tamil, or 'Face is the index of the mind' as in English, if we say, 'the extent of inner nervousness will be seen in the face', then every one can understand it easily. There is a direct relationship between one's beauty and his inner nervousness.
- Inner nervousness is equivalent to the earth-quake. When one's subtle mind becomes nervous, the entire nervous system trembles. This is no exaggeration. There is scientific basis for this.
- Every minute the inner nervousness occurs; body's life-energy goes to waste.
- Inner nervousness is only the 'emergency condition' created by the habit of looking at life's ordinary matters in an extra-ordinary manner. It happens when we make mountains out of mole hills by exaggerating and blowing our problems out of proportion.
Graham Bell's telephone system had just then come into practice and was picking up fast. Because it was new, the telephone call charges were very high.
The German ambassador, who used to be always hasty, spoke on the telephone to the Japanese embassy. He said, 'It won't take more than three minutes for me to finish my talk. When I am talking, do not interrupt me to ask any thing. You should listen carefully. If you want to tell me any thing, don't say it now. You can reply by a telegram. Do you understand?' With this introduction, whatever official communication had to be conveyed, he said all of it hurriedly.
Continuing further, the German ambassador asked on the phone, 'I have said already whatever I had to say. There are still 30 seconds left for 3 minutes to end. Do you want to say any thing more?'
Some one in the Japanese embassy said, 'Yes, you have said it all. I cannot understand even one word of what you have said since it was said in such a great hurry.'
When the German ambassador asked, 'Why did you not say this earlier?' the person at the Japanese embassy said, 'You only asked us not to talk in between!'
As he said this, immediately the phone connection got disconnected.
- An agitated state of mind and unnecessary haste are not smartness. In the name of remaining busy and smart, men have created only agitation within themselves.
When rolling a ball of thread, fingers which tremble, instead of making it all right, will make the thread ball clumsier and more knotty only. That is all. It is only the inner nervousness that converts your ordinary problems as physical and psychological sufferings.
We live only in inner nervousness in all those minutes when our peace is disturbed, stressed and pulled in all directions.
- Command when requested. Submit when commanded.
- Behaving like a sheep outside the house quiet, subdued and calm. Behaving like a tiger within the house – making a lot of noise.
- Showing anger at places where calmness is required. Remaining silent at places where anger has to be shown.
- Only these are the root causes for inner nervousness.
When he is shaken by anger and distress, the man who confronts it, becomes a beast. This is again inner nervousness.
Even at a very grave and trying situation, one who maintains calmness and composure and is without any inner nervousness, such a person only is called as a Mahan – a great soul.
One who changed Emperor Asoka into a graceful breeze was also a Mahan – a great soul (The Buddha).
270 BC. It was a time before Asoka became a Buddhist monk. He was living a notorious life. Madness of political cunningness and power-hunger blinded his inner eye (i.e.) conscience and Asoka had started to settle scores with vengeance towards his own brother.
He tried to kill his brother. But the brother escaped. After escaping he took asylum with a Buddhist monk. Asoka got the news that his brother is hiding with a Buddhist monk.
Asoka went with his sword to take revenge upon the one who had sought asylum from the monk.
It was a time when the Buddhist monks had great love and respect from the people of Bharat. But Asoka entered the monastery along with his men and shouted with a vengeful tone, 'Hey! Where is that fellow who is hiding here?'
The Buddhist monk, present there said calmly in a soft voice, 'Look here, Sir. Taking revenge is very bad. Trying to appease anger through anger itself is wrong. Anger should be won over by love. Taking revenge is not a solution at all.
By doing a cruel deed in response to another cruel deed, you cannot undo what has already happened. That is why I tell again without thinking of doing any harm, please go back.'
Asoka said, 'Keep your teachings to your monks. As you talk this far, are you prepared to die for the sake of the one who is hiding here? Come on, let me see, can you win over my anger with your love?' Asoka challenged the monk in this manner.
The Buddhist monk said with the same composure, 'Yes, you can cut me. But the monastery is a sacred place. It should not become polluted. I will come out. Cut me.' So saying, he came outside the monastery.
The Buddhist monk accepting his challenge in a very ordinary way was the first shock for Asoka.
Still, as anger and irritation simultaneously drove him further. Asoka pulled out the sword from its sheath, and tried to cut the monk saying, 'What a fool you are...'
Without any semblance of movement or even the slightest fright in his eyes, the monk remained with the same composure from the beginning and continued to remain so even at this stage. This made Asoka nervous.
This was the second shock.
Amazed at the monk's firmness, and absence of any sort of nervousness, Asoka's raised hand stopped abruptly and remained there motionless. Asoka could not kill the monk.
One thing was understood by Asoka at that moment, that the person before him was not an ordinary man.
'Can a man remain like this at all? If one can be calm and composed at a life-threatening situation! How calm and happy will this man be in ordinary times?' thinking in this manner, with anger gone and eyes full of wonder, Asoka asked, 'How is this possible...' The Buddhist monk taught Asoka, with love, the paths for attaining bliss.
It was only on that day, the seed was sown in the mind of Asoka, to change him as a graceful breeze to spread Buddhism later on. Only a Mahan, a great soul, can make a rude man become calm.
'Man can live very comfortably and harmoniously without any sort of inner nervousness.' For this those great souls (Mahans) who have thus lived and showed us, are the proofs. The presently living great souls are the witnesses.
A Zen saying which gives the method to come out of nervousness:
'Make it up-side down, what has become up-side down! Life will hold its head high!'
An example to understand this statement.
You might have watched the struggle undergone by a bug or a cockroach which has turned upside down, to turn over and attain its normal posture.
If you just turn the bug, which is struggling, the problem is solved. The frightened bug will immediately begin to fly off joyfully.
In the same way only, man has turned over inside within himself. That is why he goes on struggling.
He approaches life and the people in his life, quite the opposite way. He continues to struggle, being unable to understand.
Becoming angry in a situation where he has to be calm; and taking it calmly and silently where anger has to be shown. On such occasions the soul will be shaken harshly with feelings. Genuine feelings will be suppressed.
On account of these, the body's life energy will be misused.
If we carefully examine, we can recognize and find inner nervousness.
Recognizing it just once is enough. It will be easy to throw it away. The lesser and lesser the inner nervousness becomes, mind will become more and more clear. Face will become clear and bright.
If the mind becomes beautiful, and the face also becomes beautiful, you can flutter and fly in your life.
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A meaningful incident.
Nitti asked Kuljith, 'What is your experience before and after the marriage?'
Before: All will say this about me, 'His very sight will make us shiver.'
After: Others now say this about me, 'Her very sight makes him shiver.'
- Yes. In real life, man's inner-nervousness goes on increasing. Do you realize?
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Meditation chisels. Chisel No.35.
It is only during times of danger that one must be more careful.
If some one close to us is in danger, our becoming impatient, is it attachment, or acting or our inability?
It is a conclusive opinion of psycho-analystic research scholars that, 'In the case of most people, it is only an outpouring of one's inability.'
If on seeing that a beloved person is wounded and is bleeding, you get upset and you swoon, your beloved one will only be pushed to a still worse and pitiable condition. Is it not? If you also swoon, who else is going to save him?
For the person who is wounded, only affection and protection are the immediate necessities! Impatience at that moment will only increase the troubles for you and for that person. That is all.
'Impatience' is not a measure to show your depth of affection.
It is only a measure to indicate 'the absence of maturity to handle and tackle an unexpected situation.'
For a person who does not have inner nervousness, his body and mind will be fully awakened only in agitative situations.
Only the amount and extent of patience that comes out of you at testing situations is the index of the health of your body and mind.
In the name of being patient, behaving in an unconcerned manner at times of danger to others, and behaving like a machine, without a humane touch, is only an expression of a rigid, tight, stiff and stone-like mentality.
Being impatient is inner mental nervousness. Remaining unconcerned is mental tightness.
For both these, the common approach of sympathy alone should emerge out of a person.
When a person is in danger, put together the qualities of helping them and showing sympathy towards them then your impatience and inner nervousness or mental tightness will change as patience. Practise this as a way of expression emerging from you. Express it.
Both these are meditations, which will change you altogether, for the better.
Make all times of danger as times of meditation!
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