In the Arms of the Master
Intimate moments with the inner circle at Bidadi ashram
We come to offer ourselves at His feet But with depthless Compassion and infinite Love He gathers us into his arms instead..!
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Here we are, caught in the telling of experiences too profound to tell, and too overwhelming to hold! We don't know what the following pages are – but of one thing we are certain: they are NOT an introduction to Swamiji.
For how can we hope to introduce him – the Formless in Form?
Can we describe his eyes, his voice, his incomparable laughter?
What phrase is rich enough to describe his Compassion, what book can contain the vast spaces of his Love! Which word dare we utter, to bring forth the Nithyananda that we have experienced!
These pages are no more than an offering of love: every smile, every wave of Love that we have devoured with our senses, imprinted in our memories – our gift to all who have experienced the pure joy of Swamiji's presence, but haven't had the chance to spend so many precious hours with him – yet.
There is no order to these scribblings – for where is order in one's relationship with the Master? We hope to reveal him to you, the way he chose to reveal himself to us – in bits and pieces, shades and hues, whirls and swirls of form and colour and emotion and insight!
These anecdotes are the experiences of all the ashramites. The 'I' in the stories could be any of us, all of us, each of us. It might be you, too – for these might very well be your experiences that haven't found their way into words..!
With the deepest devotion and gratitude to Swamiji, and heartfelt love to all,
Ashramites Dhyanapeetam In the Arms of the Master
~ 21st September 2003 ~
Among the most beautiful moments I experienced at the ashram were the midnight meditation sessions with Swamiji.
A clutch of the earliest ashramites, we would gather in a circle beneath the starlit sky, or sometimes in the thatched hut (aptly named Laughing Temple) that was witness to our most joyous experiences and our richest moments with Swamiji. Made sacred by hours of meditation, and resonating with Swamiji's laughter even in his absences, this tiny rustic shelter was the de facto hub of the ashram.
Here we would sit cross-legged on straw mats, hands linked with THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's in meditation, knowing even then that moments such as these were too precious to last. And here, as always, he would pour upon us his love, his joy, the boundless energy born of his years of tapas. Our senses sharpened by the inky darkness (that didn't allow us to see each other or THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM), we would feel each person's presence that much more intensely. And after the meditation (which often left us in an explosion of bliss, or sobbing with emotion), THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM would draw each of us close in an unforgettably beautiful embrace, or place his hands upon our heads and shower us with blessings.
As always, THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM gave us experiences, never words. Simply, without a word exchanged, he would bring us in direct touch with the joy of universal love, and the sure sense of oneness with All - all of which had only seemed hollow phrases till then!
~ 28th September 2003 ~
A late arrival for the one-year residential programme (which was to stretch into a lifetime for many of us!), I attached myself to THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM with a vengeance to make up for lost time.
Soon after I arrived in the ashram, the task of checking THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's voluminous e-mail fell upon me. After returning from healing at the City Centre at 12 or 1 a.m., THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM would enthusiastically settle down to this midnight exercise. (Strangely, the internet was our sole contact with the world outside – no newspapers reached the ashram, not to speak of radio or TV! Even power supply was characteristically topsy-turvy – we could be certain of having power only between 11 p.m. and 5 a.m!)
While a brilliant moon outside played havoc on our senses, we would sit hunched up before the computer, sorting out fan-mail, official stuff and earnest messages from seekers of spiritual guidance – to each of which THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM insisted on replying personally.
At that time of night, his robe would be in a state of gentle disarray, his turban resting on the table beside him; he would be running his fingers absently through his curling locks. Looking up casually from an email, I would be suddenly shaken by the sense that beside me sat a beautiful, almost languorous woman, eyes aglow with joy and compassion at the outpourings of love in so many of the mails.
Then suddenly, catching my wondering look, he would crack a characteristically bawdy joke - and gaily shatter the vision.
O Nithya!
In the Arms of the Master
~ 25th October 2003 ~
Nothing escaped THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's keen eye. Every morning he would do the rounds of the ashram, twirling his staff and checking on progress and maintenance, down to the smallest detail. Before my wondering eyes, he would command the brahmacharis (students),
There is a broken bucket in the third toilet near the ashramites' dormitory. Replace it.
He would enquire of the youngest brahmacharis, Have you washed your clothes today?
Look at your hair! When did you last take a bath?
Then he would tease them about personal hyegiene.
Much later, we found out that there were other reasons for THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's daily barefoot walks. One rainy day, when we rushed to fetch him his sandals, he refused, saying: No slippers! When I walk barefoot, I am in communion with the earth. Also, walking barefoot is one way I energize the ashram.
(then, with a disapproving look at our sandaled feet) You should all practise walking barefoot as much as possible. It is an excellent way to absorb the powerful earth energy!
~ 4th March 2004 ~
It was amusing for us to watch devotees stunned by THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's unselfconscious simplicity.
No matter what the weather, THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM usually walked the half kilometer from his kuteer to Ananda Sabha (the healing and meditation hall). The people waiting for healing would watch in amazement as the ochre-robed form wove its way - sometimes alone! - through the green fields towards Ananda Sabha, with no motorcade or fanfare to announce his arrival.
He ate his meals in the common dining hall, seated on the floor and eating out of a steel dish like the rest of us.
At the washing area, it was common to find his ochre robes fluttering in the breeze alongside the white clothes of ashramites and patients. It always gave me a thrill to hang out our clothes right next to THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's... to think that we should be moving so closely with the Divine!
In the Arms of the Master
~ 18th January 2004 ~
It took us too long to understand his Divinity, longer still to realize his Innocence.
When he once gently reminded me that he was innocent of all I saw happening around him, I smiled wickedly at his leela, the Divine humour of the Master, the all-powerful, the all-knowing.
Then, one day, we were to witness something that would stun those first impressions into silent awareness.
Going to seek his blessings on the night before his departure to the USA, a group of us ashramites quietly entered his room.
THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM lay on his bed, deep in sleep or meditation, we couldn't know which.
When he noticed our presence, he motioned us out of the room with a gentle gesture of his hand.
Still we lingered, bewildered.
Was he ill?
After the whirlwind activity surrounding his Jayanthi celebrations the previous fortnight, THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's overwrought body had suffered from weakness and a persistent fever.
After a while, THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM spoke.
Slowly, in a voice made still more eloquent by the silences in between.
'Can you feel it..?', he whispered.
We nodded silently.
Almost as soon as we had stepped into the room, we had been engulfed in wave upon wave of pulsing energy, that seemed to flow endlessly from the Master's body. Even as we waited, it rose and fell, swirling around each of us, baffling all understanding.
What is it, Swami..?
Slowly he continued,.
This body is being prepared for the explosion of energy that is to happen in the coming weeks… this energy has to touch thousands…
It has happened early… I didn't expect this till tomorrow… but Existence has willed it to happen now… I am sorry… stay a while and then leave... you will not be able to handle this energy… my love and blessings to you all…
He turned away from us, trembling from the sheer force of energy which was sweeping over him.
His words drove into us like the edge of a diamond.
He spoke of his body simply, with humility – as if it were no longer his own, but merely an instrument of the Divine!
Here was a man who had completely surrendered control over himself.
Until then, I had always thought of Enlightenment as something gained, a state of complete control and total power. It took only that moment to realize that Enlightenment is a losing, an unquestioning surrender, a dissolution into nothingness – a state of utter innocence and a childlike trust in Existence.
O Nithya!, we sobbed inwardly, How poor a tool this limited mind, to fathom your supreme Innocence!
In the Arms of the Master
~ 14th November 2003 ~
THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM happily flouted every rule that we'd set (in our minds) for an enlightened master. (How dared we, indeed, set rules for an enlightened one!)
But still we watched, astonished, as he gleefully refused to be defined.
After spending time with us till the early hours of the morning, he would retire to bed and rise as late as 9 or 10 a.m. He would arrive for healing sessions notoriously late, unperturbed by the sight of the weary crowds waiting for healing and darshan in Ananda Sabha. (Only we knew that this was a ploy, to keep the ailing in his healing buddhafield for a longer time…)
On the rare days when he rose early, he would step out unwashed, fresh as a flower in his gently crumpled robes, and do the rounds of the dorm. He would knock noisily on the doors with his staff and generally put up a big drama about how lazy we were – how unfit to even aim at enlightenment! Then he would announce a special morning class in Laughing Temple. These were usually yelling sessions about jobs poorly done - what we ashramites jokingly referred to as THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's special pooja (worship) for us! But in between the scolding and the joking would jump out some of the most inspiring and touching words I've ever heard THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM speak.
One such day, he was full of mischief (so what was new?). Some of us had been putting questions on spirituality to him – and he had answered by asking us, as usual, to shut up and mind our tasks instead. He ruthlessly discouraged any claims we made to intellectual understanding of any kind*. How long it took us to even glimpse the wisdom of his techniques!*
Suddenly he asked me, laughing with helpless mirth at his own harsh treatment of us:
Ma, why don't you write a book of mystical riddles, based on these Zen koans? Call it Ananda Zen!
See, it can go like this…
Vishwa: THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM, how many hours should I meditate every day to attain enlightenment?
THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM: Poda, arivuketta naaye! (Get out of my sight, you foolish dog!)
In that moment, Vishwa became enlightened! Ha ha! (uproarious laughter from all)