The beauty of love
When love becomes the centre of your being, sex becomes a deep union of two beings. The problem is, true love is lost under the covers and lust has taken over. As a result, the beings never come together; only the bodies come together. The relationship remains at a very superficial level. Anything superficial can be shaken easily.
Also, lust always blinds you. It takes you into unconscious intoxication. Love also intoxicates you, but it takes you into deep awareness. Lust and love are two ends of the same spectrum. Anything that puts you into deep awareness is meditation. Anything that puts you in an unconscious state is not conducive. This is the scale to see if what you are experiencing is good for you or not.
Also, when you love deeply, there will be no room for jealousy. Jealousy is there because you are afraid that the shallow roots will give way. If the roots are deep, why would you be afraid? Why would you get jealous? The trust in your partner gets shaky because the relationship is superficial. It is a relationship based on fantasy and lust.
Romance is not real romance if you feel
Life itself is romance! Your very being has to exude romance - towards Existence. it towards only one person. Life itself is romance! Your very being has to exude romance - towards Existence. When your being expresses itself through your head, it is intelligence; when it expresses itself through the heart, it is compassion; when it expresses itself through the body, it is energy and when it does not express itself but just IS, it is bliss!
When you reach this stage, you will not be dependent on anyone outside for joy. You will simply resonate with joy all the time inside yourself. Of course, you will be able to multiply it by sharing it with others outside.
When you feel deeply connected to a person, there will be no need for physical proximity to that person. You will feel happy and satisfied with just the feeling of connection with him or her. You will feel complete unto yourself and not look for anything outside for fulfillment. This connection will not suffer separation or anything else.
A relationship is all about feeling connected to someone at a deep level, beyond all things. When you don't understand this, you bind yourself to people with many conditions and you call it a relationship. It becomes shaky and you work hard at maintaining it and conclude that relationships are a problem!
People tell me, 'Swamiji, I want to come and stay in the ashram. I am not happy staying at home.'
I always tell them that if they are not able to be happy with 4 people in their house, they cannot be happy with 100 people at the ashram! Do you think that the ashram is some escapist lodge?
Be very clear: home is not anything outside of you. Being blissful all the time irrespective of what goes on around you is what is 'being at home'. If you are not able to do this, you will not be at home anywhere.
When I stayed for months together in an 8 feet by 8 feet enclosure, I was as blissful as I am today sitting on this throne. Please try to understand this. The capacity lies in understanding that your happiness has nothing to do with the outer world objects.
Imagine that a dog is biting a bone and starts bleeding from the mouth. It thinks that the blood is coming from the
Being blissful all the time irrespective of what goes on around you is what is 'being at home'. bone and bites further into it and licks the blood. What will happen to the dog? Only pain will happen. In the same way, we also think that the pleasure or pain is to do with things outside of ourselves and indulge further and further in it and become miserable.