Q: I want to be unclutched but my wife wants to be clutched, how can you help me?
A: See, one thing, in brackets you say that you want to enjoy the good things in the life. Do you think being unclutched means you won't enjoy the good things in the life. No, that is where you are missing the whole point. Do not try to create the shaft that unclutching means something. Again you are creating one more shaft.
Somehow the teaching has entered into you that this teaching is anti life. Without even practicing you are clear it is anti life. It is not. When you start living in that unclutched way you will understand every moment only your life is enriched. You are not giving up anything.
I tell you, be unclutched and you will see you are fulfilling not only your wife's imaginations but you are also over flowing much over that. One more thing, only when you are unclutched, you will have so much space you will be able to accommodate all of her fantasies. You will be able to accommodate her being, you will have tremendous compassion for her and you will not feel suffocated by her.
The only way to escape from wife is be unclutched, because you will have so much of space in you. You will not feel suffocated by people. You will not feel suffocated by the expectations of somebody. You will have such a big space, not only will you be able to fulfill you will have tremendous compassion, you will know where and why they are suffering.
See, when you know somebody is suffering at some point, you will not have violence. Only when you don't understand where he or she is suffering you will have violence. Intelligence and compassion are one and the same. When you have intelligence about where that person is suffering you won't have violence. You will be able to accommodate that person in your inner space. You will have a different quality in your life.
Only when you relax, only when you unclutch yourself will you understand that when you are unclutched you will not get irritated. You will not be moved. The other person may get irritated. You will not get irritated; your very energy will be totally different.