Q: Actually we listened to our fathers. This generation, they are different.🔗

A: To tell you honestly I am not able to believe this statement. No son listens to his father. After they become fathers, because, they have vested interest they forget they did not listen to their fathers. Because they have to train their sons they remember only incidents in which they listened to their fathers. Only those incidents they remember. They do not remember those incidents where they said no to their fathers.

I tell you one simple basic thing. You feel you are a man only when you say no to your father. Till then you feel you are a child. Just to prove you are a man, you start saying no to your father. It's basic psychology; it's a basic thing. When you say no, you think that you are somebody. You feel you are somebody.

So please be very clear whatever you say your son is going to say no; because he wants to be somebody. One beautiful paragraph I read in a book.

One guy says, 'I found three ways to do a thing'.

Friend asks, 'what are the three ways?'

'First do it by yourself. Or, get a worker to do what you need done. Third, tell your kids not to do. That's all, it'll be done.'

Tell your kids not to do, and it'll be done.

See, these are three ways to do anything. Whenever you say anything, he is just waiting to say no. Saying no to you creates a deep courage and strength in him.

It makes him feel that he is a man. Now he is on his own. So we need to understand we also said no to our elders. Later on in the old age because we started having the problem of selective amnesia, or you start remembering only the incidents in which you said yes. You forget thousands of incidents in which you said no to your elders.

Be very clear, what we did, the same thing they are also doing. Only life can teach.

There are so many people who are married. They come to me and they tell me, 'Master, before marriage if I had met you, I would never have gotten married, I would have been with you, and I would have dedicated my whole life for spirituality'.

I tell them marriage is like a roller coaster. Whoever is sitting inside all want to jump outside, whoever is outside always want to sit at least once inside. Whoever is outside are all having deep interest and excitement, why not once, why not experience once. And whoever is inside just want to jump out.

So be very clear only life can teach. You cannot teach. Let us be very clear, only life can teach; you can neither teach, nor help your kids unless they want. If you force something on them, you may teach one thing, how to cheat you that's all. If you force rules and regulations on them, you may teach them one thing how to cheat you that's all. Nothing else can be done.

Let us be very clear, life only can teach. All you can do is, in a simple word please mind your own business. And I am telling you with all respect, because I am not directly related. And if you start forcing, you will listen to the same words without respect. That's all, that's all is the whole life.

Let us see the reality; let us come to the practical situation. I am not ready to give any idealistic solution. Please understand, I don't want any big, big theories. I can give some theory – oh, take him to some temple, take him to some God, take him to some guru; nothing will happen. I tell you nothing will happen.

And especially this age, kids have become so intelligent. See the software is getting updated, so intelligence is getting updated. Nothing can be done. In those days, it was specialization; so elders were intelligent. These days, updating, so next generation is going to be intelligent. Be very clear, those days life style is specialization, naturally, elders will be more intelligent. These days life is based on updating. Naturally youngsters will be intelligent.

All you need is to drop your ego and respect youngsters. That's the only thing that can be done, nothing else can be done, because, fortunately or unfortunately the whole social setup has turned from specialization to updating. The system is now not specialization; it's all about updating. It is not about specialization; it is all about updating. So be ready for respecting the next generation.

Q: Swamiji, you were talking about we are not the body, we are not the mind, we are not the ego, but in the process, what are we, because you also said about dropping of the ego and then we functioning independent of the ego.

But if the I itself is not the element of the ego itself and even if we drop the ego and we say now I am not the ego, but I am functioning, is that also not an aspect of the ego itself, then who am I, am I just the thought, am I the consciousness or what am I?

A: Beautiful questions. But I really suspect do you need answers? Please understand, persons who need answers, will put only one question. Person who puts several questions continuously, he needs only experience, he cannot be given answers.

First, you assumed so many things. You say if I drop the ego and I start saying, I am living without ego, is it not ego; the moment you drop the ego you will not say I am living without ego.

Somebody asked a Zen master, 'Master*,* how will I come to know whether I am enlightened or not'.

Master says, 'If you are enlightened this very doubt will disappear. So long as you have the doubt about whether you are enlightened or not, you are not enlightened'.

He says beautifully that the moment the disciple becomes enlightened the doubt whether he is enlightened or not will disappear; same way the thought that he is enlightened will also disappear. He will neither have the doubt, whether he is enlightened or not nor he will have the ego that he is enlightened. Both will not be there. That's the first thing.

So, the hypothetical questions, if I drop my ego and I start saying I am living without ego is it not one more ego? The very hypothesis is wrong. If you drop your ego you will not say you are living without ego, first thing.

Next thing, you are asking If I am not body, mind or ego who am I?

Ask yourself, not me. I asked and I found the answer; I am asking you to ask yourself. I am not here to answer your question; I am here to question your answers. You have so many answers to the question who am I? You have the answers, I am the body, I am the mid, I am the ego.

So I am questioning all your answers. No. You are not body, you are not mind and you are not ego. I will leave you alone with your question. When I leave you alone with your question, your question will become a quest. That quest will naturally make you experience the truth.

Please do not ask the questions to me. Ask these questions to yourself. I am not actually answering your question. I am questioning your answers, which you have already got. So this question, who am I, should be asked not to me; it should be asked to you. When you do this meditation, you will have deeper clarity about what I am saying, how I am saying you are not the ego, you are not the being as you think.