Tapas is finding you
Tapas destroys only your false identities, not You!
You must understand what this process called tapas is about.
Right now, your personality is entangled in too many things, in too many situations and too many people. When you remove all these things, one by one, from your life, what remains will be your individuality.
At so many levels, you are carrying ideas that you think of as YOU.
At the outermost level, you are deeply connected to the world as you experience it. Your social identity, your family, your profession – you are carrying all these inside you, as part of you. That is why, traditionally, seekers on the spiritual path choose a life away from family and society.
I can say that it is not necessary to physically be away from family and society - it is enough if you can psychologically disconnect from them. Understand: I am not asking you to become indifferent to them, to stop talking to them! Just become aware of the subtle influences that the world is exerting on you.
You are carrying the baggage of so many of other people's ideas. Just become aware, how many people are living inside your head right now, telling you how to run your life? Just listen and see, how many voices can you hear? We are living our life based on ideas of right and wrong which are given to us by others, and we don't even realize it.
Becoming aware is only the first step. Many times we are already aware, but we don't have the courage to free ourselves of these influences. We know that we are simply acting out ideas that have been given to us by our parents, by friends, by society, and by television!
But we don't want to let go of those ideas, because we are afraid of living without a social identity. We are afraid of being alone.
As you move from ego to spontaneity, you will surely experience some pain and some fear. This is nothing but the process of transition happening in you. Naturally, the ego will resist the process, and you will experience this transition as pain. You will undergo pain. That's your penance, your tapas!
Have the right idea about you
Having the right idea about you is very important, because based on that idea you are going to function.
Once I asked My Guru, Gurumātā Vibhūtānanda Puri, 'Why is so much tapas required on the spiritual path? Why so much of austerity, facing difficulties, why is all this required?'
She laughed and said, 'When you go through tapas, you will develop such an understanding about you, that even if small things come to you from society, you will feel that is a blessing. You will feel that even a small comfort that you receive from the world is a great blessing.'
Practicing tapas sets a standard about what you feel as you, or what you are qualified to receive from the world, so that you live forever in contentment. Tapas sets a standard about you in such a way that you are forever contented. Whatever comes into in your life will become a bonus for you. You will say, 'Oh, compared to how I lived earlier, this is too much!' This is one benefit of tapas.
Understand: the concept you have about you is the context you set for your life. Having and developing the right idea about you is very important, because it is based on that idea that you are going to function.
If you think you are the body, you will spend your whole life making everything
Falling in tune
Tapas is the practice through which your bio-memory falls in tune with the all-knowing, all-powerful, all-intelligent and all-compassionate atma.
The stuff which is inside your bio-memory, that is responsible for your bio-memory being alive, is called satchidananda. Sat is 'all-knowing', chit is 'all-powerful', ananda is 'always-blissful'.
But your bio-memory is not completely aware of its own sweet truth, satchidananda. Any practice that makes your bio-memory understand and experience its innate nature of being all-knowing, all -powerful, all-blissful is tapas.
Tapas is not always painful. It is not always austerity. Even the very joyful action of eating something sweet can be tapas for you.
Sometimes there are austerities that need to be practiced, but the word tapas itself should not be translated as austerity or mortification. Just because sometimes it is austerity, it does not mean that tapas always has to be austerity. Sometimes, it is a very joyful and happy action, which you always wanted to do. Therefore, it does not become pain.
The ultimate joy is gained by completion and fulfilment. It is not pain to learn completion! You are not going to poke your body with a spear, you are not going to fast, you are not going to kill yourself. No!
The word tapas should be understood or translated as the methods and techniques through which your bio-memory is empowered to look into its innate nature, and experience the all-knowing, all powerful, all blissful, and all compassionate expression of itself.
When you feel like falling asleep, if you just remember, 'Wow, by falling asleep I am going to experience my innate nature of eternal peace,' it is also tapas. Whenever you fall asleep, just remember, 'Oh, I think I am tired of running around and projecting the scenes which are not me! So I want to return to my home, which is all-peaceful all the time, and waiting for me. Let me return.' Just with this memory, if you fall asleep, your whole sleeping time itself becomes tapas. You don't need to do anything else.
Tapas is not just mortification and austerities, it is just the pleasant, sweet, and relaxed technique for falling in tune. You are not doing any austerity here, you are not doing any mortification here; but you are killing the wrong ideas. Only the mortification of the wrong ideas is done here.
From my experience, if I have to describe the word tapas, I will describe it as only the mortification of the wrong ideas you are clutching to inside you.
Practising Tapas