Tapas is taking Responsibility for Consequences
Taking responsibility for the whole happening, is what is called tapas.
Tapas is not just having the courage to take the leap, but the responsibility to face the consequences. Often you may feel disconnected and disoriented, because your old identity has been destroyed. At such times, not blaming the process and not blaming Existence or the Master, but taking responsibility for the whole happening is what is called tapas.
When we feel that the goal is worth it, we will take responsibility for the entire process. We want to go through it, no matter what the cost.
When Goddess Parvati entered into tapas to win the hand of Shiva, she endured all kinds of physical and mental sufferings. She performed what we call 'asaadhya tapas' – impossible tapas - practices which are considered impossible for a woman, especially for a princess who had been brought up so delicately.
She started meditating in the open under the sun or rain. She started living only on fruits and herbs, and later, only leaves. Then she reduced her food to just only one leaf a day. Finally, at the peak of her tapas, she stopped eating even that one leaf. That is how she got the name Aparna – a-parna means 'not even a leaf'.
But in the end, when Shiva appeared before her, all the pain she had endured was forgotten in a moment, because the result was worth more than the effort!
When we know that whatever we are working for is worth the effort, we are willing to face any amount of pain, because we take responsibility for the whole process.
Later, when Devi tells her father that she wants to go and live with Shiva, her father objects, 'No! You cannot go with him. You will not be comfortable. You are a princess, and he is just a wandering ascetic! You will not be happy. He does not have anything to take care of you.'
Devi says beautifully, 'Here I may live in luxury, but not in bliss; with Him I may not have luxury, but I will be blissful.' This is a prestige issue for her father, who cannot see his daughter living with a wandering saint, a beggar. He says, 'If you leave me, you cannot come back.'
Parvati says, 'Alright, if that is what you wish, then nothing can be done', and simply leaves everything to go and live with Shiva in the Himalayas.
Because of the strength of her tapas, Shiva is able to deliver the great truths of enlightenment to her straightaway. All the great truths of the Shiva Sutras are delivered by Shiva to Parvati, because she is worthy.