My experience of enlightenment🔗

My experience of enlightenment happened when I was between the age of eleven and twelve years old.

It all started when I went to listen to Annamalai Swamigal, an enlightened being who was a disciple of Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi.

There were a few seekers sitting around him, listening to the spiritual truths he was sharing.

Annamalai Swamigal said, 'We are not the body. There is no pain or suffering for us.'

This really surprised me, because I had seen children cry when they were beaten, although I had never been beaten myself.

Even though I didn't understand what Annamalai Swamigal said, I was in the pure space of listening, so whatever he said was intensely working on me. At that time, I was not capable of fully cognizing what he was saying. If I had, I would have become enlightened right at that moment! But since I wasn't capable of cognizing what Annamalai Swamigal had said, I only listened. This was the beginning of my search.

Sri Ramakrishna describes how a pearl is created only under the rarest circumstances. He says, 'An oyster has to receive rain showers during Swaati Nakshatra, and catch that drop of water. Then the oyster goes into the ocean and processes that drop of water, which eventually becomes a pearl.' Because

I was in the pure space of listening, I could receive the words from the Master, and they could work on me to bring out the pearl of enlightenment in me, oneand-a-half years later.

Because my listening was so pure, I was possessed by those words! After a lot of contemplation, I decided to experiment on myself to see if I experienced pain or not.

I picked up my father's razor and made a very deep and long cut on my thigh! At the time, I didn't have any technique to go beyond pain, and I had not experienced enlightenment either, so when the blood started gushing out, I was shaken. My parents came to know about what I had done, and rushed me to the local hospital, where the doctors needed thirteen stitches to sew up the cut.

After a few days, I approached Annamalai Swamigal again. I asked him why he had said that there is no pain or suffering, after whatever had happened to me. Annamalai Swamigal laughed and told me, 'You have not understood what I said, but your attitude of experimenting is a great quality. Hold on to it and you will achieve the Ultimate.'

This conversation did not satisfy me. I said, 'I need not have gone through this suffering if you had uttered these words before I had cut myself!'

Annamalai Swamigal just said, 'Don't worry, you will understand when the time comes.' He gave me one last teaching. He said, 'Find out WHO has the feeling that there is pain or suffering.'

For me, these words were an initiation. Whenever I had free time, I would sit and contemplate, 'WHO is feeling the pain in me?'

This self-enquiry was done by me when I was ten years old, and I was practising it without even knowing I was practising it. About a year and a half later, on the auspicious occasion of Vaikashi Vishakam, I had my experience of enlightenment.

I went to the foothills of Arunachala Hill in the evening, where there is a coral hillock called Pavazha Kundru. It is on the same rock that Devi Parvati did tapas and became enlightened. So it is a very powerful space and carries a high spiritual vibration. I was practising the same technique of self-enquiry, and asking myself, 'Who am I? Who is having the experience of pain and suffering?'

Between sunset and moonrise, I suddenly experienced a revelation. My eyes were closed, and I suddenly knew who the experiencer was. I felt alive and being present in everything. I could literally see everything with a 360 degree vision.

The very next moment, I was able to see and feel everything as myself, in the same way that one feels powerfully alive in one's own skin. I felt powerfully alive inside everything – the plants, the hill, the rocks, the sky, everything!

For about an hour and a half, my body did not move. Later, I slowly descended the hill, and even though it was dark, I did not need light to see. I felt this way for two and a half days. I could see and feel everything as my own presence.

Because I was in completion, the words of Annamalai Swamigal entered my being. Because of my integrity, the words were continuously working on me.

When I cut myself, I was stretching myself to the truth, I was acting from authenticity.

I took the responsibility to find the root source of who was feeling the pain and suffering. Just by living them in a state of completion and in the space of pure listening, I could directly experience enlightenment itself.