Q: How do we get over possessiveness and jealousy?🔗

Yes, how do we get over it? The fact that you have asked this question shows that you are ready for better understanding.

Human beings can never be possessed. When you try to possess a person, you actually reduce him or her to an object. You make the person a dead thing. Only dead things can be possessed. If you understand this, you will be free from possessiveness and the jealousy that arises out of it.

Can you try to possess a river? If you try to grasp the water in your hand, you will be doing a foolish thing, will you not? In the same way, don't try to possess people; just enjoy them for what they are and you will be free from the grips of jealousy.

When you try to possess a person, it becomes difficult for that person also. You will start projecting all your ideas on him. He will have to act so as to gel with your projected ideas. He will feel caged. He cannot be his natural self with you. Then it cannot be called a relationship anymore!

Also if you really love a person, liberate him! Don't try to possess him. Just love him with no strings attached.

I am reminded of a story:

In a remote village in South Bharat, where people did not know that civilization existed, there was an old couple.

One day, for the first time ever, there was a fair in the village.

The man went to the fair and saw all the items on show.

He picked up a mirror and was awestruck by what he saw!

He had never seen a mirror in all his life before.

He took it home with him.

Now and then he would take out the mirror, glance at it and put it back before his wife could see it.

The wife however noticed it and when he was out one day, she picked it up and looked into it.

She exclaimed, 'Another woman! Just as I had thought!'

There is no end to our imagination because of our possessiveness and jealousy!

Of course, you might say, 'Swamiji, how can I keep quiet if my husband or wife is eyeing someone else.' If your husband or wife is really eyeing another person, just look into the matter consciously, with awareness, and sort out the matter with your husband. This is different from possessiveness.