Q: What would you say is the root cause for so much worry and tension in our lives?
The fact that you are asking these words shows that you are ready for the solution.
You see, we are continuously having some imagination about everything – about the people around us, the places where we live, the situations that arise, and the lifestyle that we follow. We are continuously fantasizing or expecting things to happen in a particular fashion. But reality is always different from this imagination. The gap between reality and our imagination gives rise to tension in our lives.
We have created a virtual world inside us and are continuously looking to realize it in reality. There is a gap between our fantasy and reality. The more we have imagined, the more
When you are spontaneous, you will never be challenged for even a moment. will be this gap and the more will be the tension.
We always think that we are getting to the point of realizing our imagination but when we get to it, we find our imagination has grown further and so we never really get to it. This creates disappointment, tension and worry in us.
The fact is, we are not even aware that we are working with imagination. Our imagination has become such a solid thing for us that we can't even see it as imagination. We are caught up in it. If working towards something is causing tension in you, then you are not working in reality; you are working in your zone of imagination.
Every moment, we are trying to fulfill our expectations in the world outside. The expectations could be to do with people, material comfort, name and fame, anything. If people don't react or respond in the way we imagined, our expectation suffers. From minor to major things, we are always looking for a match for our imagination. It is an unconscious process inside us. Because it is unconscious, we are not even aware that we are doing it, which is why we don't understand the cause for tension. The cause is so subtly woven into the whole thing that it cannot be made out.
If you bring your awareness acutely to this point and watch yourself for just a few hours, you will understand how your whole mind works. Just decide to be a watcher of your mind and the people around you. You will see how subtly your mind is continuously creating expectations in every small thing you see and do, and how reality sometimes matches and sometimes misses your expectations and how feelings of tension and worry arise within you when this happens.
Just by flooding awareness into this whole thing, you can see how your mind plays and creates tension for you. Once you learn to become the watcher, your worries will drop and you will also not internalize any of the outer world incidents. When you internalize outer world incidents, you create a larger database of words inside you, out of which new worries will arise.
When you plan chronologically and work towards realizing your chronological plan without loss of time, you are on the path of reality. If you find
When you plan chronologically and work towards realizing your chronological plan without loss of time, you are on the path of reality. yourself worrying more than working and not getting anywhere, then you are on a path of psychological worrying. Then there is a gap between reality and yourself. It is time to look in and straighten your thoughts.
Thinking to plan chronologically is alright, but thinking about how you are going to execute your plan is not alright. It becomes psychological worrying and this is what creates tension and worry.
If it takes just 2 hours to plan for yourself, then the remaining 22 hours are available to you to execute the plan. Why then is the plan not getting executed? Because, you waste more than 80% of the remaining time on worrying about how you are going to execute the plan.
When you keep repeating the plan to yourself, you are in effect draining your own energy into it. Instead of using the energy to execute the plan, you simply waste it. How will the job get done?
One more thing: If you really want the job to be done, you will get down to doing it without worrying. Actually, tension and worry are mere excuses for running away from doing things. Under the pretext of worry and tension, you escape from responsibility.
Every problem is pregnant with the solution. If you really want to solve it, you will do it. All you need to do is look at the problem with deep awareness, and the solution will stand out. Only when you don't want to solve it, you will feel comfortable just talking about it. And you will feel great that you have so much to worry about!
The best way to shrug responsibility is to get into a state of worry and tension. Most often, people suffering from depression feel comfortable in that state because they don't have to take up any responsibility.
A small story:
A man who was known to be a great healer visited a village.
Very soon, a crowd gathered around him. He touched a man on his neck and the man who was suffering from chronic spondolosis became relieved of the pain instantly.
He then touched another man on his head and the man's headache disappeared
All you need to do is look at the problem with deep awareness, and the solution will stand out. that very moment. He moved towards a man on crutches. But the man on crutches moved away and said, 'Don't touch me!' The healer was puzzled and asked why. The man said, 'I have just applied for my Disability Benefit Claim.'
We talk endlessly about our problems, but when we are offered a solution, suddenly we become too relieved! We have never thought beyond our problems, so we find there is a void when our problems disappear!
So drop all your imagination about your lifestyle, people etc and start living in the present moment and things will automatically happen. Remember: you can't live in this comfort zone for long. Some time or the other, reality will find you. So start living consciously, make conscious decisions and take up responsibility for every decision you make.
It is very easy to go by another's decision and blame them at the end of it. It is the most foolish and cowardly thing to do. Never blame anyone for anything. Remember, only when you are unable to handle something, you will allow to take the responsibility and also blame them for it.
Q: Swamiji, how should we be relaxed always?
When your consciousness is alert all the time, you will be relaxed all the time. Meditation is the key to achieving this state. At least at the intellectual level, understand this first. You will then start experiencing it for short intervals of time. These time periods will increase and become your permanent state.
I always tell people that to find out if a master is a true master, watch him when he is asleep. A real master will appear like a flower when he is asleep! He will be totally relaxed and beautiful to look at. He will radiate a child-like innocence when he is asleep. An ordinary man, on the other hand, will appear tensed and tight when he is asleep.
A master is always in a state of superconsciousness and he sleeps only to relax his body. When you are continuously in a state of heightened consciousness or awareness, you can never be tense. Only when you allow yourself to fall into unconsciousness, into a state of delusion, you will create tension for yourself. The only
The only way to be relaxed always is to be aware all the time of every single thing happening inside and outside yourself. way to be relaxed always is to be aware all the time of every single thing happening inside and outside yourself.
Learn to relax with awareness. When you are with a master, if you allow yourself to relax, he will enter you; his state will penetrate you. If you are close and tense, he will not be able to enter you.
The word Upanishad itself means, 'Sitting at the feet of the master.' If you are able to sit at the feet of the master with an open and relaxed mind, his presence will enter you and work on you with all the compassion.
When you relax in a master's presence, you are actually settling down in your own body; you are settling down in your own individuality and you are feeling relaxed in your own personality. Then there is no wedge inside yourself and you become integrated. So practice relaxing in the presence of the master.