Speaking in and speaking out
Alright, now let us analyze what actually happens inside the mind when you worry.
Just watch your mind when you are worrying about something.
You will see that a continuous stream of thoughts is being generated in your mind - totally disconnected thoughts and usually negative thoughts. An influx of negative and repetitive words will be like a current in your mind.
You see: we all use two kinds of speech – speaking out and speaking in. Speaking out is speaking to others, what we call speech or conversation. Speaking in is speaking to ourselves. Actually, this speaking in is a continuous process that goes on inside us. This speaking in is called 'inner chatter' and this is what is called worry also.
Worry is nothing but this continuous, uncontrolled inner chatter happening in your mind. This inner chatter becomes your master and takes control of you.
Whatever words you speak out, you speak carefully because if not, society will ask you to be careful. But your 'speaking in' is not controlled in any fashion. When words that you speak out, can be controlled, why can't words that you speak in be controlled?
You don't control what you speak inside because you don't have self-respect. You simply say what you wish inside you. Do we throw garbage on a plate of food? No. We throw it only in the garbage can. You treat others like a plate of food and yourself like a garbage can. Because of this, you become indigested.
The dangerous this is, with outer conversations, there will be breaks when no conversation happens.
But the inner chatter is continuous. It can drive you mad! Actually, many times, you speak outside only to escape from your
Worry is nothing but this continuous, uncontrolled inner chatter happening in your mind. own inner chatter. That is why so much talking goes on in the world! People are afraid to be silent because there is a madhouse inside them. So they meet up, socialize, talk, and keep themselves occupied.
What exactly do we mean by this inner chatter?
Just try this small exercise when you are by yourself. Just sit for a few minutes with your eyes closed. Keep a pen and paper with you. Don't focus your mind on anything. Just witness your mind. Just see what is going on in your mind. Almost as soon as you close your eyes, you will see that there is a continuous stream of thoughts flowing through your mind. Write down honestly, whatever thoughts are there. Just write whatever is going on, however unconnected the thoughts may be. Do this for five minutes.
Now, sit down and read what you have written on the paper. You will be shocked! Whatever you have recorded on the paper is your inner chatter. If you read it, you will see how disconnected, how irrelevant your thoughts are! One moment you will be here; the next moment you will be in America; the next moment you will be in your office; the next moment you will be thinking of your children!
This is the mind you have entrusted your life to! This is the mind that generates all your worries. This is the mind that is living your life for you. If you understand this step, the rest is easy.
A small story:
One day, there was an accident on the road. People gathered around and saw that a brand new car had crashed against a wall. They asked the driver, 'Why are you driving the car if you don't know how to drive properly?'
'Of course I know how to drive,' replied the man, 'I only don't know how to stop.'
The man knew how to drive but did not know how to stop! You are also driving a vehicle which you don't know how to stop. It is a very dangerous thing. Your mind is a like vehicle that you don't know to stop. Just try to stop your inner chatter, even for a few seconds. Can you? When you try to control it, the number of thoughts increases. And you will have one more worry that you have to stop your mind!
You are not driving your mind; your mind is driving you.
To understand worry, we need to have a deep insight into the nature of our minds.
The way to worry is through the mind, and the way out can also be only through the mind. But we keep searching for answers in all the wrong places. We search outside all the time. We think, If I had more money, all my worries would be over! If I was more good-looking… If I had a better job… If… If… If…
The solution cannot be found in outer world things. It can be found only inside ourselves.
A small story:
Buddha had ten thousand disciples whom he used to address every morning.
One day he brought a tightly knotted rope and placed it before them and asked, 'Can someone untie this knot?'
The disciples came forward, pulled and
The way to worry is through the mind, and the way out can also be only through the mind. pushed the knot but could not undo it. One intelligent disciple came up, looked at the knot for a while and undid it easily.
You have to look at the knot and see how it has been created, then you can undo it. Instead, if you simply pull and push, you will never be able to untie the knot; it will only become tighter.
The same thing applies to our problems also. The problems, diseases, emotions you are struggling with, are nothing but knots in your system. Once you clearly understand how the knots have been created, you can take the right steps to untie them.
Just do this small test: Whenever you feel negative thoughts coming up, look into them and see where they are rising from. You will find that they always rise up from the navel.
Whenever you feel worried, whenever a situation arises that you simply can't handle, the first thing to get affected is also your navel region, your stomach. You can physically feel depression as a weight in your stomach. That is why we always say, 'I can't stomach it; I can't digest it.' This expression is there in all the languages. It is universal.
So, what is the way to be worry-free?