Chapter 17
Mind – Independent, Unclutched Thoughts
The shaft does not exist. Basically, your thoughts are independent, illogical, irresponsible, unconnected and unclutched. No two thoughts are responsible for the other's existence or disappearance, but you are afraid to believe in such an undefined frame of mind. You are afraid to live with an undefined mind. So you try to define. Your trying to define is the first problem. When you try to define, you have to create some shaft, either as pain or as joy.
Understand, even with your spouse you live for a maximum of six months. Within six months, you create an idea about him or her. After that you live only with the idea which you have about the person, not with the actual person. Anything which the other person does, you will look through the lens of that idea only. In six months, you will come to an idea, 'Oh, this is the punishment given to me by god!' or 'I don't have to go to hell now; I am already in hell.' You will continuously see whatever he or she does through that mirror, through that glass. You don't live with a person, you live with a concept.
In the same way, you have an idea about your mind. You form either a pain shaft or a joy shaft. You live with that shaft, not with the experience.
One more important thing you need to understand: After every thought, there is a gap.
Understand, it is like a fish tank. The water bubbles come in the fish tank. After every bubble there is a gap. Because the gap is too small you think it is a stream. It is not a stream. Between any two thoughts also there is a gap. It is just independent, illogical thoughts moving.
The problem is, when you can't live or don't want to live with these independent, illogical movements, you create an idea of pain shaft or joy shaft and struggle with it. You create an enemy who does not exist and fight with it.
Now, all that we need to do is to stop creating this pain shaft or joy shaft, stop clutching all these painful incidents or joyful incidents and creating the shaft. The essence of whatever I was talking is, stop clutching and creating a shaft. That is enough, you will see, suddenly, the shaft disappears; the shaft does not exist.
Understand some of these important truths. Now we are coming to the initiation part. Any thought may suddenly click with you and you may feel, 'Yes! That is what is going on inside me; that is what I am doing.'
One important truth you should know: even if you want, even if you try consciously, you cannot possess or hold onto your suffering. Understand, it is a very important truth.
Even if you try to hold, you cannot hold your suffering, because continuously, your suffering is also replaced by different thoughts.
One person came and asked me an important thing, 'Swamiji, I am suffering with lustful thoughts. Please give me some solution.'
I told him, 'Just sit half an hour, your mind should not go anywhere else, you should just meditate on lustful thoughts. Think only lustful thoughts, no other thoughts are allowed.'
In ten minutes, he opened his eyes and said, 'I am not able to concentrate on lustful thoughts, Swamiji.'
I said, 'What are you saying? You told me just now you are haunted by those thoughts. I asked you to meditate on it; just be with it. Now you are saying, your mind is not staying on those thoughts. Your mind is going somewhere else!'
Understand: fortunately, you can have only one thought at a time, am I right? You can have only one thought at a time. The moment some other thought comes into your inner space, the earlier thought has lost its power or influence over you, am I right?
Fortunately, you can have only one thought at a time; the moment a new thought is coming inside your system, the old thought has lost its power or influence over your system.
For example, the moment you decided to stand up and leave, you renounced the thought of sitting and listening. The moment you stand up, you renounce the thought of sitting; the moment you decided to sit down, you renounce the thought of standing up. Any thought which comes newly in you replaces the old thought. The old thought loses its power or influence over you, am I right?
A person once came and asked me, 'Swamiji, I am haunted by death fear. I have so much fear about losing my wealth, and about my death. Give me some solution. Please remove my fear.'
I told him, 'Please have a cup of coffee.'
He said, 'What do you mean, Swamiji?'
I said, 'Just think of having a cup of coffee and have a cup of coffee.'
He was not able to believe and asked, 'How can that help me?'
I said, 'The moment you are able to think of having a cup of coffee and decide to have a cup of coffee, the death fear which is haunting your inner space has left your inner space. Am I right?'
Unless the death fear which is haunting his inner space leaves his inner space, he cannot think of having a cup of coffee, right? So naturally, a simple thought to have a cup of coffee can remove the so-called powerful death fear.
Then he said, 'No, no, no, Swamiji, it looks too simple! The death fear comes back, what should I do?'
If it comes back, have one more cup of coffee, that's all!
He protested, 'No, no, no, you don't understand how seriously I am talking. You are playing with me.'
I said, 'I am not playing. It is just a simple thing.'
Understand, it is just a simple understanding. Fortunately, you can have only one thought at a time. The moment a new thought comes, it means the old thought has lost its power over you; otherwise, the new thought cannot come inside. If the old thought is so strong it will just multiply and sit in you. It won't leave your inner space. The moment a new thought comes, it means the old thought has lost its power over you and has left you. Only because of that, the new thought can come inside. So, the moment you have a thought to have a cup of coffee or a cup of water, the so-called death fear has left you.
The man was not able to understand. He said, 'No, no, no, it cannot be so simple. I am really having fear, Swamiji. It comes back.'
I told him, 'Alright, now you know the method how to replace the death fear once, then do the same thing again and again, that's all.'
He said, 'No, no, no, it comes back. Once I can drink a cup of coffee, next time what to do?'
I said, 'Have a cup of butter milk, that's all!
He could not accept, 'No, no, no, it comes back the third time.'
I said, 'Then, have a cup of water, that's all!'
Chapter 18