Chapter Six:🔗

Could You please talk to us about the difference between suppressing and expressing our emotions through our mind?

You have two choices. You can either suppress your emotions, or you can transform them. Suppression and transformation exists as two aspects to the same thing. This thing is that man can change himself. And man is the only creation of Existence who has been given the choice to change himself.

Look at any other creature that exists. Birds exist, plants exist; there are so many animals that exist, but they cannot do anything about their existence. They are apart of one big whole, they do not have the ability to stand out of it. They exist as a whole. They cannot separate themselves.

This is not the case with man. He is totally different. He can do something about himself. He has the ability to observe himself as though he were a witness. He can watch his energies as though they were separate from him. He can either suppress his energies or he can transform them into something greater.

Suppressing a certain energy is to simply hide what is already there. By suppressing, you will not be allowing them to be expressed at their own lengths. Transforming a certain energy means to change it into a new dimension.

See, there are so many emotions which society does not accept. There are many emotions which make you feel embarrassed. And this embarrassment is not your embarrassment. It is the embarrassment which society has taught you to feel.

Suppression seems to be the easiest way to avoid the vulnerability of the ego. It exists as a protection, as a security measure. And what are you getting out of fighting with your emotions? By fighting, the emotion is not going to disappear. If anything, you will create the illusion that it has disappeared. And all of a sudden, the emotion will happen in full swing.

Now, when there is an emotion which proves disturbing to you, do not suppress. Simply become aware of it. Awareness is the key to any transformation. And if you can transform your energies, then no energy will act as a disturbance to you.

A small story:

Two monks were traveling along a road. It was raining heavily. The roads were filled with mud and large pools of water here and there. At a bend, they saw a beautiful girl in a silk dress standing helplessly on the road. She wanted to cross over to the other side of the road but could not because of the water. One of the monks lifted her in his arms and put her down on the other side.

The monks took shelter in a lodging temple that night. The second monk then said to the first, 'Monks are not allowed to go near woman, especially young and pretty woman. Why did you carry that girl like that?'

The first monk said, 'I left the girl there, why are you still carrying her?'

So understand: if you can become aware, no particular energy will disturb you. Unawareness leads to the carrying of emotions. If you can remain completely aware and at the same time remain a witness, after the incident has passed, it would have passed from your mind as well.

Start to witness all that you do throughout your day. Start with simple activities first. When you are eating, become aware. Feel every morsel which touches your lips; feel it moving down your throat. Enter into it completely. While walking, become aware. Feel every step. And I am not only saying to become aware of external things; you must also become aware of what is happening internally. Watch your thoughts; see the quality of your mind when awareness is added. The very quality will change. When awareness is there, thoughts cease. And if you can become aware of what is happening to you internally, witnessing happens automatically.

Now the next question that will come is, 'What is meant by witnessing?' Witnessing is watching all that is happening both within and without you. Not simply watching; it is watching as if you are watching from the outside. You should not feel as if anything is happening to you. Just as you would watch a movie, you should watch your life. It is all happening to someone else.

And the whole of life is just one big drama. This is the truth. We are all actors on a big stage. But over time, by continuously acting, we have forgotten that we are actors. We start thinking that the drama has become reality.

So by witnessing, one becomes aware of the drama again. Then nothing will disturb you. There will be no suppression, and at the same time, there will be no expression. Because the understanding will be there; you will understand that even if something is getting expressed, it is not getting expressed by you. This is because you are the witness, not the actor.

Just as the monk in the story accepts whatever is, you should accept and move on. Simply accept life as is and become aware of it.

A man who suppresses his desires will close his eyes when something disturbs him outside. And with these same closed eyes, what will happen? He will be doing all possible nonsense! Now, I am not saying that indulgence is correct, because as of now, society is such that if you go around indulging in everything, you will be looking a little funny!

So now, when something is the cause of disturbance in you, do not suppress, and do not indulge. Find a balance between the two. Become aware of what is happening in you. There is no need to close your eyes or turn your head to what is acting as a disturbance in you. Accept what you are seeing and what you are feeling. Acceptance and awareness, as I have said before, is the sure way to transformation.

I tell you now: become aware, accept, and you will see yourself moving beyond an emotion or energy which disturbs you.

We will meet in the next session.

Chapter Seven:

Beloved Master,

Can You tell us something about relationships? How do the people who we are living with influence our lives?

A relationship is a very beautiful thing. And because it exists between two people, it is dependant on both. Together, both people can grow. Whenever you meet a new person for the first time, a new phenomenon comes into being which was not present before. And through this phenomenon, both people are changed.

Before the meeting, you are one thing, but after the relationship has happened, you are completely a new person. Just see in your lives: when a woman comes into contact with a lover, she comes out a completely new person. When a man becomes a father, there is a new light to him. When a child is born, there are two births; the mother is also reborn. The woman may have been there before, but now the mother is born.

A relationship is something which is created by you and at the same time, relationship creates you. When two people meet, it is like two worlds have met. Each person is a world unto himself. Each person is in their own world.

Initially, it is as if two peripheries have met. As the relationship enters a deeper level, then the centers start meeting. It is the meeting of these centers that we call love. When the peripheries meet, we can call it an acquaintance, but when centers meet, it is love.

It happens many times that we mistake acquaintance with love. Then one day, this love which we have felt has disappeared. If this happens, be clear that you have not entered love. Love is a very rare happening. In order to meet a person at his center, you would have to allow the person to reach your center. You will have to become vulnerable, completely open to the person. You will be completely exposed. All that you have hidden will be open. This is why there is fear; this is why love is so rare.

Through acquaintance, we think that we have loved. When you are with someone on the outside, on the periphery, you feel that you have met them. The periphery is like a fence around you, but it is not you. You are inside the fence, and a person can reach you only through love, through entering the fence. I have seen many husbands and wives who only know each other at these fences; they are only acquaintances. And by being acquaintances, you have never known the other.

There are two types of relationships: fear orientated and love oriented. Through this fear based relationship, you can never enter into love; you can never enter into a deep relationship. You will continuously remain afraid of the other coming to know you. There is a limit that the other is not permitted to cross. There is a wall for which when the other comes near, everything must stop.

However, a love oriented relationship is totally different. It is based on mystery. It is not bothered about the future or what may happen, or the consequence. It is a relationship where both completely enter into the moment and live in the now.

This is the relationship that I say is beautiful. Any other relationship on the periphery is dangerous. You simply become stuck with the other. You are not free to explore the depths of yourself. With love, there is no end to these depths; you go on moving deeper and deeper.

If you can be in the present moment, completely unbothered about anything, then only love is possible. Love is such an innocent emotion. It knows nothing but feeling. But these fellows who are stuck in an acquaintance relationships are simply intellectual fools; nothing more. A relationship with boundaries is a relationship straight out of the intellect.

Love is a rare flowering. I say it is rare because it can happen when there is no fear. When there is no fear, then there is nothing to hide, there are no boundaries. You reach the other's center and they reach yours. This is the beauty.

The moment fear enters a relationship, be very clear, it is not love. Then it is only an arrangement of two people who depend on each other, possess, dominate, manipulate, fight- but it is not love. Understand: I am saying it is an arrangement, not a meeting.

And what do you have to lose by letting your self be known by someone? Why is there fear? There is no harm in it. It is only one of the many misconceptions given to you by society. They tell you to hide; you must always fight and never trust anyone; everyone is against you. All of these things have been taught to you

First thing: no one is against you. Even if you are thinking that someone is against you, they too are not against you. Everyone is bothered about themselves. They are not concerned about you. This must first be understood. Then only is a relationship possible. There is nothing to be afraid about because no one is bothered!

So when the fear is dropped, two centers can meet. And when two centers meet a new thing is created- love. It is very much like water. When hydrogen and oxygen meet, water is created. But if you have only hydrogen or only oxygen, your thirst will not subside. Only when both meet, the thing will happen.

One more thing: when a person is in love, he becomes desire- less. He becomes content with whatsoever is around him. Desire arises out of discontentment. However, when there is love, when two centers have merged, then a new quality is born. With this, comes contentment; hence there are no desires.

Make love a happening. It should be directed towards no one or no thing. Love starts with someone and ends at your self. Do not allow it to be an occupation of the mind. Make it an inner search.

See, when you meet a person, you meet them at the periphery. By and by, as you move deeper into the relationship, the periphery of the person disappears, their form disappears. It is here that you move into the formlessness. And when you enter the formlessness of someone else, you are immediately thrown back to the formlessness or yourself. And if you go still deeper, then even this formless person begins to disappear. Now, a new door is opened. The formlessness of Existence is revealed to you. Through the other, the divine is found.

To move to the divine suddenly will be difficult. It is so vast, so expansive. We will not understand where to start. It is so beginning- less and so endless. We will not know how to move into it. Love is the door. The other is the door.

Do not make love a struggle, rather make it an invitation. If this can be done, suddenly, the other disappears and the divine is there.