48. Which one is a mistake? Which one is a wrong?
- What is pointed out as a 'mistake' is just a word created by the society to prevent a man from injuring himself either mentally or physically. That is all.
- A 'wrong' is a conscious feeling created by elders for a person to protect him from the un-controllable pulls of the senses. It is only to protect him and society.
- But today 'mistake' is being misused. The word 'mistake' is being made use of now and then by many, to hide their own wrongs, like using chilly powder to blind the eyes of others.
- When a person does a 'wrong' or when he gets a conscious feeling that he is doing wrong, instead of being afraid that he is doing wrong, more people are afraid that others will talk about them wrongly.
- Whatever we call as wrong, is correct only as far as we are concerned. For another person, the same wrong may be 100% right. For each place, for each person, for each religion, for each caste 'wrong' differs.
- It is nearly wrong for us to point out the wrongs of others. When such is the truth, taking the wrongs as pointed out by friends and relatives as the Gospel truth and acting accordingly, keeping it as linchpin is a very great mistake.
A professor asked a Zen Master: Which one is wrong?
In reply, the Zen Master asked: Which one is right? After thinking seriously, the professor said: What all appear to me as not wrong, all those are correct as far as I am concerned.
The Master said: See... the answer for your question is with yourself only. What all that do not appear to be right for you are all wrong only.
The Master asked the question: What is wrong? The professor asked again with deep thought: Which is really wrong?
When the Master asked: Do you really want to know that?
The professor said: Yes.
The Master said: Your very question is wrong.
The professor then asked in a low voice: If you talk like this, how can I get any clarity?
The Master said: I do not talk like this to confuse you. It is only to confuse that which is confusing you I have to talk like this. Do not examine as to what is wrong. In fact, there is no such thing as wrong. To lead a natural life passing beyond mistake, wrong, justice and equality, stop confusing yourself. You will get clarity.
The word 'wrong' is itself equal to a sickle as it helps in creating the conscious feeling in others, 'I am doing wrong', and this is the feeling created by pointing to others, saying this is wrong or that is wrong.
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To use the sickle for good purposes, clarity is necessary as to when, where and on which to use it.
In case of lack of clarity of intellect, many heads will roll on account of one's own likes and dislikes and one's own desires.
In order to point out the wrongs of others, one must have experiential knowledge of the secrets of life and also the true conditions about the human mind and psychological behaviors.
Without knowing all this, and having many faults in our selves, if we try to correct others' mistakes and wrongs, we can only create a mind in others, which has been pierced again and again and wounded by the sharp sickle. We cannot remove unnecessary mental or psychological problems and create a nice cultured mind. We will only create a wounded mind.
The incidence of piercing and wounding the minds of others does continue to go on and on only.
The husband and wife, who have to live cordially mutually as if they are a one, though two different people either continuously point out the mistakes of the spouse, or wound themselves thinking about the spouse's faults again and again. Only these two things many couples continuously do throughout their life. This is a regrettable state of affairs.
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A small story:
Once, THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM met a religious fanatic.
THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM was such a happy ascetic, that he used to pay his gratitude for every minute, eat whatever was available, and sleep happily at whatever place available.
That religious fanatic got very envious on seeing the happiness of THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM.
THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM was lying on the lawn and was smilingly offering his gratitude to the God, looking at the sky.
The fanatic got irritated seeing this. He asked: Are you a complete ascetic?
Shradhananda said: Why sir, I am an ascetic only. I have no doubt about that. Why do you have a doubt...?
The fanatic retorted: Don't you know that an ascetic must respect Masters and sages?
The ascetic replied: Yes...I know.
The fanatic asked: Do you respect Mahaveera?
Shradhananda said: Yes.
The fanatic said: Mahaveera used to lie only on one side. If only lies flat, spreading his hands and feet, many small insects and organisms will get affected. With this merciful thought, how much Mahaveera made himself suffer. Being an ascetic, how can you lie stretching yourself like this? How many lives will be affected? You have committed a wrong!
So saying the fanatic threw the 'mud' of 'wrong' on the ascetic, thus reducing his envy and getting some satisfaction.
Shradhananda laughingly asked: How many micro-organisms did Mahaveera kill below the area of his body when he slept lying on one side?
The religious fanatic did not know what to reply.
Why did Mahaveera say so? Why did he sleep in such a manner? Without knowing any explanation for these questions, the fanatic used the experiential truths of Mahaveera, only as a sickle to satisfy his crude envy.
Shradhananda did surely know the explanation as to why Mahaveera lived in that manner. So he was blissful as usual. He was not at all affected by the hurls of the fanatic.
In case the ascetic had been an ordinary person, first of all, he would have felt guilty and thought: Oh what a big mistake I have done.
Secondly, he, who had so far been lying on the grass happily, would have sprung up to his feet. The entire atmosphere would have changed sorrowful.
It is only because we do not understand other's bad motive, we become heart-broken when others find fault with us. When we find fault with others, our cruel feelings get satisfied, and it grows further.
The real wrong is, creating a guilty feeling in others by pointing out their mistakes and thus saving ourselves.
From this day onwards, without wasting time in correcting other's faults, find out your own faults and utilize the time in rectifying it.
This will augment the respect you have for yourself and others will show more respect towards you.
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A meaningful incident.
Jumalki said to a mother, who beat her child for making a public place dirty...
'A child is in an innocent and pure state where he does not know what he is doing. Let the child, who does not even know the word 'wrong' escape form your fault finding. Don't begin so early to instill in the child the feeling of guilt. Allow him to live.'
- The act of hurting others in the name of correcting them should come to an end. Will it be so?
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Meditation Chisels. Chisel No. 3.
Giving independence to others – A meditation in life
Parents, who feel glad on seeing their children being happy, feel afraid when they see them act independently. Why?
All persons who encourage their near and dear being happy, crush their independence. They act in such a manner to create a feeling of guilt in them.
The next step to happiness is independence.
Knowingly or unknowingly, the act of blocking others independence is equivalent to encouraging a person to climb up a ladder and making the ladder fall away as he climbs.
The reason for our dis-satisfaction with our near and dear is the guilty feelings created in us when our independence is snatched away from us!
We encourage the happiness of others. It is because, in the depth of our hearts, we also want to be happy.
But we snatch away other's independence it is because, in the depth of our hearts, we are not desirous of our own independence. This only comes out and is revealed as fear.
This motivates a person to act in such a way to control near and dear ones in some manner or to keep a person under his grips.
'We should not give others too much room.'
'We should always keep others under our control.'
'Don't allow others to do what they like….'
'Others should obey me always...'
If such thoughts rise up in your mind, it means that you do not want your own independence. Such thoughts will arise only within a person, who does not possess a sense of internal independence.
He is after all your relative! There is nothing wrong if you just give in! Let him have his say. What if, instead of you, he acts?
Let everyone around you be independent.
This is not a wrong path. It is an escaping path.
To feel satisfied with those close to you, first thing, encourage their independence. All your deep-rooted fears will get healed. You and he will live happily and independently.
Giving independence is a subtle way to 'get independence'.
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